Why canāt I just be brave enough to face the consequence of my past actions. Iām living with the guilt of the past even if I know I already did my part. I am very anxious. I have no appetite to eat. My brain feels like itās going to explode. My heart is beating non stop since Monday night. Itās already been more than a year and I thought I have already free myself from the all the negative. But thinking of it right now, it was just the beginning of a long lasting nightmare. The person whom I left with a lot of pain came back a few months ago and gave most of my days full on anxiety since then. Yesterday, I decided to tell him I wanted to move on and if he would decide to trespass my household and ruin the good bond I have with my parents withĀ āhis truthā, then let it be. But after all that, I thought it would give me peace or lessen the burden I am feeling right now. But no. I am getting worse. Ways to cut the string of life is starting to crawl into my mind. Iām doing my best to fight it. I just really want this to end. I just really want this to stop. I just really want to begin again without having to be anxious of the past going to ruin it. I just want to be free.Ā













