Novelette

she/her a depressed writer with nowhere to write. i dont wish to be seen, i wish to be heard. welcome to my eternal journal. ao3: melancholy_novelette

[melancholy-novelette]

i found this image to be quite inspirational, thus i wish to share it. you don't have to make something phenomenal much less rather something exceptional. you must first put it out there and tweak things later because you cannot build off of something you put nothing into. some day you'll regret never putting yourself out there.

create beautiful, wonderful things.

~ m.n.

[melancholy-novelette]

today ive went through a loss: my best friend, my baby, and my pet, yet they were all compiled into one being. my dog had been hospitalized due to cancer and died within the same day.

what made me realize how difficult grief truly is, is the overwhelming idea that i have failed in some way, somehow. that if i could've magically known, it'd be all better. for instance, the other day i had seen him, and he was the same as ever, but as i stared at his final moments, i wondered if i should've done more; despite the fact that there was nothing more that could be done.

although i do realize that i cannot let grief consume me, for it'll welcome in regret, and regret allows death to win. i love him as he loved me forevermore, and he knew it until the bitter end.

~ m.n.

[lazycinna]

usahana doodle ! ₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎

[melancholy-novelette]

its crazy to remember that i created this account for simple journaling, writing, and even small vent posts and i still can't believe people found me and decided to follow. i need to stick to myself and just post my worries again like what this account was used for without getting embarrassed lol

~ m.n.

[melancholy-novelette]

sometimes my friends and I love to free verse, we come up with things on the spot, about random things. often i get "that's deep" or "that's so poetic," which makes me laugh because i think otherwise, but here are some ive said in the past ! : "failure is only what you perceive it to be." "words might be written, said, or seen, but really words are memories."

i think free verse is a good exercise to help one be able to think of things on the spot, while also building an affinity for creative writing and literature in general ! anyone can do this themselves by setting up a timer and writing or speaking about any topic.

~ m.n.

[lazycinna]

oc doodles

[melancholy-novelette]

Death’s Bride

Do you wish to be?

To be Death’s bride, his wife, lover?

Yes, yes I do… yes

~ m.n.

[melancholy-novelette]

Different

i cry through the day and into the night at the knowledge that there are people in the world who would want me dead simply because i love differently from them.

why is the way i love different ?

why can't my love ever be equal to theirs ?

why does it weigh less in their hands ?

why must i fight for the right to be in public ?

we are forever looped in the doomed category in media and are rarely represented correctly. it makes it feel like we are forever deemed as something that won't ever last or as people who have to change or conform to deserve our happy ending.

i remember as a kid shrugging, being fine with the fact i was bisexual. nowadays i space out, wondering if i have to prove my worth to people who would spit at the mere thought of my existence or even the people who say they love me to the moon and back.

and when we ask to be seen plainly, to be spoken of just like any other person, people stare at us like we are a spectacle. they argue when we want to normalize queer representation.

i'm sorry i just want to love like you are able to do – freely.

"it's a choice"

is love ever really a choice ?

~ m.n.

[melancholy-novelette]

Shhh

You must be quiet

They will hear you if you speak

Don’t cry it’s alright

~ m.n.

[melancholy-novelette]

Raining Pain & Careless Love

alternative piece

~ m.n.

poems i wrote around the year 2020. all the bolded words are titles to a book, which was part of the assignment.

[melancholy-novelette]

6-word prompts

❧ Attitude is a light. On. Off.

❧ Water surrounded me, inside and out.

❧ Cancel the date, I can’t continue.

❧ Love you, do you love me?

❧ Love; endless, if the flower grows.

❧ Today, you looked great as always.

❧ Can’t speak, but is all ears.

❧ Have you ever lied to me?

❧ Define a well-lived life, you can’t.

❧ Time goes on unless you leave.

❧ Potential is everywhere, just grab it.

❧ So… do they ever get mad?

❧ I left, your turn to shine.

❧ Red wine stained your white dress.

❧ Game freak lovers are the best.

❧ I can’t venture out without you.

❧ Photos are time capsules; open them.

❧ Stay silent, they are around us.

~ m.n.

some prompts i made in 2020 feel free to use

[melancholy-novelette]

OMG you changed your layout, it's pretty! Is there a deeper meaning behind the art you chose?

wahhh thank you anon 🥹🩵

there actually is a deeper meaning ! both pieces have to do with melancholy so i thought a hint to my name would be kinda cute.

my pfp is an art piece called "Melancholia Painting" by Stefan Doru Moscu and his description of the art is "My artworks takes a critical view of social, political and cultural issues. I deconstruct the reality, fairy tales, old photos that depict childhood and adult culture, in a discourse that challenge the existing political, economical, social and technological paradigms.. Additionally, degraded materials are placed and highlighted in some characters who are in different states of mind or different emotions."

my banner is an engraving called "Melencolia/Melancholia" by Albrecht Dürer. the piece is actually thought to be the personification of melancholy, it's almost a self-portrait since it is a depiction of artists. artists were seen as melancholic and as eccentrics or loners. for instance, they might have spurts of creativity before being sent into a depressive spiral and Dürer uses dark and light to represent depression !

~ m.n.

[melancholy-novelette]

Nobody’s Leftovers

The unfathomable stench could not be put into words. Furthermore, taking a finger to the disfigured fruit would be like a knife through butter, a mushy mess needing to be cleaned up. Candy apple red shifted into a distorted version of itself - muddy brown. Its sides have sunken inwards as buzzing fruit flies blister the leftover corpse. Thus, the remnants of the food are inedible, putrid to the tongue.  An apple that has lost its sweet nectar taste and luminescent outer core has now been deemed unfit, unworthy. Quite unfair, for it is not its fault; the nature of life has been bestowed upon it.

~ m.n.

something i wrote when i was a freshman in high school

[melancholy-novelette]

im always afraid of publishing my book to then have someone demolish me on goodreads.

sometimes i have to remind myself i cannot appease all and i have to write for my own enjoyment, but sometimes that's too scary. who will enjoy my multi-volume series of pure yearning 🪦 me, myself, and i

~ m.n.

[melancholy-novelette]

made a twitter account but at what cost lmao, i post more here, i feel like someone behind the scenes on twt. i've been on twt forever, but not for this account specifically, so i feel like a faker

~ m.n.

[melancholy-novelette]

due to a certain show, it created spite that i never knew existed within me,,, so i began drafting up my own book series 😭

why do shows write queer characters for their own fame rather than for us to be seen ? it makes me upset that we will never be properly represented within popular media. it reads as if we simply adapt to the life that is unfair to us, without any reward for what we go through, as if we don't deserve our happy ending.

~ m.n.

[melancholy-novelette]

currently in the process of drafting said book, along with any needed details. im so excited !

~ m.n.

[kidovna]

the paladin and the sorcerer

for @andiwriteordie’s birthday!!

go read and comment on an andi fic to make her birthday special!! here’s the link to her ao3 where she has over a hundred byler fics. this one’s one of my personal favourites

[melancholy-novelette]

trust, me and a friend of mine will be writing a fic inspired by this art its so gorgeous wahhh !! lovely piece.

~ m.n.