I had a very different topic in mind when I thought about writing this post. My classmate from school was visiting and wanted to see the city. We planned to spend Saturday doing it, leaving bright and early to see the local landmarks and enjoy food. I thought I would write a story about the interesting people we saw, things we bought, and a couple restaurants that we ate at. What ended up happening was very .... different.
First of all, he rented a car and had been in town for a few days already. He had been staying at his relative’s house for the most part, but stayed at my house the night before so we could catch up. I hadn’t seen him for about half a year. I think things went well despite the fact we did not have that much to talk about and I fell asleep about 9. First of all, we never got to leave bright and early because there was an issue with the travel ticket for his departure back. And he chose Expedia as his platform of choice so he was on hold for about two hours before that got resolved. It was intended we would arrive in the city for lunch at 12. We didn’t even leave my house until 12:15.
That annoyed me a bit, but hey, he had to solve the problem then because his flight was tomorrow. It was way more important and I understand that. We get into his car and he immediately declares that he needs to refill the gas. One thing I have to say about my friend is that he isn’t very organized. (Not that I am much better, but he isn’t the type that I would rely on to be on time for meetings.) At this point, I am pretty hungry because the plan was still to eat lunch in the city and I had skipped breakfast. He had an issue with paying for gas
After that, it became apparent that my classmate is what I would consider, an Asshole Driver. I’ll give you my reasoning...
1. He is one of those people who treats driving as a race. Instead of chugging along in a couple lanes, he will basically cross five lanes of traffic to pass a couple cars. And in the end, it doesn’t even really matter. Because traffic always slows down at jam points, so what time was really even saved? And the way he does it is where more cautious drivers will definitely hit their brakes. And you know how when the front person brakes, people behind them also brake? He probably causes more traffic overall.Â
2.Turn signals are unnecessary. To be fair, he did use turn signals when making turns in the city. What I mean by this is that when he was changing lanes, he just did it suddenly. I can see why he didn’t use turn signals, I mean, you usually need to give a couple seconds for the signal to register to the cars around you, and he basically just went during that interval.Â
3.Stop at every intersection. Granted, this is better than not stopping at any intersection, but stopping when you have right of way against people who have stop signs is a bit dangerous. What are people supposed to do when you stop instead of taking the right of way? Go? If he hit them, it would be hard to argue whose fault it was. Wait? Well, there he goes creating more delays. He did this more than once and he excused it as “seeing the sights”.Â
4.Driving while constantly looking at his phone. I suppose this was the biggest one for me. He would not put down his phone while driving. I suppose he did not trust me as navigation, and he did get annoyed with me when I tried to take his phone away. At every stoplight, he would be texting or playing Pokemon Go. During the drive on the highway, he would look at the GPS every couple minutes. (At least I hope he wasn’t playing more Pokemon Go. At this point I was kind of closing my eyes and hoping to live.)
So you might think that the entire day went terrible. And while parts were bad, we did have a nice afternoon as soon as he got out of the car. Lunch was fine at a nice sushi place. It was a bit late and we didn’t really eat till mid afternoon, so it might have been the hunger that made everything taste delicious. I played a bit of Pokemon Go and watched his Pokeball throwing technique. It is rather swirly.Â
Then we walked around and did some window shopping. Everything we wanted could be found cheaper on Amazon, so we didn’t really buy anything.(The local economy is doomed!!!) We saw a huge line for ice cream and took a few souvenir photos. Then it was back into the car and off to see more sights.Â
It was at this point that things got heated and it really became awkward. As I was complaining to him about holding a phone and driving, he told me to shut up. And I kind of did. Because he was the driver and there isn’t really much I would be able to do trapped in the city. (Okay, uber is always an option. But I thought I maybe the situation was salvageable.)Â
I am going to make the situation analogous where parents are fighting while on a family trip. The dad is driving and smiling, but secretly still upset. The mother is just silently brooding. My god, was I brooding? Yes. We spent about an hour in the car not talking to each other except when he would point out landmarks that I really didn’t give a shit about. “here is a hill... it is a big hill” Great. The trip back from the city was also done in complete silence. Double Great.
Then we had dinner at a Mexican restaurant near his relative’s house. It was relatively nice. Their nachos were a bit bean heavy and salty. Their food was presented nicely, but the prices were also rather high.($20 enchiladas?) He had paid for lunch, so I was paying for dinner. It ended up being about close to the same price. (A bit crazy to me, since I equate sushi with expensive and mexican as less so... but maybe that is my prejudice.) Suffice to say, things went silent until he dropped me off at my house. Â
In the end, I survived. And we promised to meet the next time he visited. I also offered to drive because I hate being in his car. I think our friendship is rather damaged as he never replied to my “Have a safe trip” text.Â
But hey, on the bright side, I think I found something that would make me hate you. If you turn out to be an asshole driver, I think I might just hate you. So please drive kindly.Â
Another Bothered Car Driver Exaggerating Facetiously Grand Harpings
02-20-17 (Happy President’s Day. Have fun not being productive at all!)
P.S. That cake never gave me more nightmares. Maybe since it was old, it lost its powers of psychosis. Or maybe it was the twenty chicken wings I had also eaten with the cake that had actually caused the issue.Â
P.S.S. I bought more shirts for my cousin. TeeTurtle had their birthday and everything was 40% off. I thought about getting you something, but I always felt you were more of a LookCuter kind of person anyway.
P.S.S.S. My manager is leaving next month. We had a happy hour to celebrate. I have rediscovered that I still am terrible with alcohol. One day, I am sure I will learn my lesson. If I don’t throw up on any coworkers along the way, I will take that as a win.
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