[melencolias]

autobiography of red.

prompts taken from anne carson's 1998 novel in verse autobiography of red. some punctuation has been added to lines to approximate their flow as dialogue. typical content warnings apply, including some implication of sexual content. edit to your discretion.

you owe me.

i hate you. i don't care.

just leave it alone and let it heal.

a cage isn't a weapon.

that's not freedom, it's indifference.

i believe in being gracious.

you're cold. your hands are cold.

so who is this new kid you spend all your time with now?

i don't trust people who move around only at night.

i hardly know you anymore.

light that for you?

i guess i'm someone who will never be satisfied.

that isn't a question. it's an accusation.

sometimes a journey makes itself necessary.

you're going to love my family.

my heart aches when i am bad.

i think you are confusing subject and object.

i need a little privacy.

i am learning a lot in this year of my life.

all your designs are about captivity. it depresses me.

have i told you this story before?

why are you alone in this huge blank garden like a piece of electricity?

reality is a sound. you have to tune into it, not just keep yelling.

i find it very beautiful. has a kind of pulse as you look at it.

reminds me of my marriage.

have we had this conversation before?

you sound funny. were you asleep?

the reason i called is to tell you about my dream i had of you last night.

i want you to be free.

it is always winter up there.

what is time made of?

there is no person without a world.

i'm interested in how people decide what sounds like a law.

so blank and bizarre would be the human life that tried to live outside belief.

would this day never end?

well, more to the point, i credit god with the good sense to doubt me.

what is morality, after all, but divine doubt flashing over us?

that is who we are. creatures moving on a hill.

under the seams runs the pain.

you can't be alive and think about nothing.

i am not the one who is crazy here.

it's a song, but i don't know the music. just the words. maybe i'll make up the music.

you should try this stuff! it's like eating the sun!

i shall never amount to much.

that would be a good title for a photograph.

once i wrap you up, you'll have to stay that way 'till morning.

good. then come over here and take off your overcoat.

why don't you let things be?

desire is no light thing.

and i want to be in love with someone.

i once loved you, now i don't know you at all.

can't you ever just fuck and not think?

just another saturday morning, me laughing and you crying.

just like the old days.

want to give you something to remember me by.

[melencolias]

the phantom of the opera.

prompts taken from gaston leroux's 1911 novel the phantom of the opera as translated by david coward. typical gothic horror content warnings apply. edit to your discretion.

oh, yes! he existed all right, a creature of flesh and blood.

pish! you lot see ghosts everywhere.

i swore i wouldn't say anything!

we must cut him down.

you're the one who looks as if you're about to faint. what's wrong with you?

since you seem set on not recognising me, i would like to say something to you in private. it's very important.

i would like to be alone. i'm feeling very tense this evening.

how can you say that? i sing only for you!

tonight i gave you my soul and i am dead.

you have a beautiful soul, my dear, and i thank you for it.

i know you're in here. why are you hiding?

but what on earth were those people laughing at?

i no longer know who i am when i sing.

love me? have you taken leave of your senses?

say it! say it again! say everything you heard!

can't you see this is killing me?

he won't get away from me this time.

you're lying. you don't love me. you've never loved me.

you said you would forgive me.

i'm ready. it's you who are late, not i.

i did not expect to see you back so soon.

don't listen to him, darling, you mustn't listen.

then promise you'll never leave me again.

you have no right to try to control my actions and i would be glad if you would not try to do so in future.

i think you know that if i meddle in matters which doubtless do not concern me, i only mean well.

why did you stand, looking, as if you were hearing choirs of angels?

is the mystery then so very terrible?

we may never see each other again.

and is that what's made you look so happy?

we shall never marry, as you well know.

it will make us happy, and harm no one.

i have the honour to ask for your hand in marriage.

it's nothing. i swear it's nothing.

never! i forbid you to go down there!

i didn't say that. who told you such a thing?

let's run away, tonight.

it's awful, to be always afraid like this. even here, where we are absolutely safe.

when she said that, i realised i loved you.

don't be afraid. you are in no danger.

don't go! you must hear the rest of it here.

does he love you that much?

and afterwards, i will be free to go?

it's not easy, to make someone love you in a tomb.

we must seize our opportunities whenever they arise.

we must get used to everything in this life, even eternity.

look at me. you wanted to see?

are you satisfied? i make a handsome specimen, don't i?

during those hours, i wasn't sure you loved me.

you made me act like a coward.

does being in love mean being miserable?

a ghost that bleeds is a poor sort of phantom.

thanks to you, we are a laughing stock.

i'll find a way of stopping you.

make sure no one sees you as you go.

you intend to fight a duel?

follow me and do exactly as i do.

and your trick damned well near killed me.

you're a villain!

i prefer to forget all that.

but you know i never keep my word. i only swear when i want to fool stupid people.

you're afraid of me, but i'm not a bad man.

if you loved me, i would be as gentle as a lamb and you could to with me whatever you wanted.

why are you crying? you know i hate it when you cry.

you gave me all the joy the world can offer.

let it be my wedding present to you both.

i know you love the boy, don't cry.

i'm not ready to die just yet, but the time will come soon.

take me to the opera.