Loud Sounds for No Reason

spazzing out at small things

[tormod]

This is for All the Boys

This is for all the boys who have stolen a loaf of bread.

This is for all the boys who steal the bishop’s silver but forget the candlesticks.

This is for all the boys who can lift an entire cart by themselves.

This is for all the boys who drag young wounded men through the sewers.

You. Are. Validjean.

[mymodernmet]

[memeyshleemy-blog]

Family Dudes Squad

Its about this dad, named Pattor, and his wife Loborb and their three kids Spewie, Mog, and Chreeeees

[memeyshleemy-blog]

I swear to god, Dr. Oz knows what I need.

[memeyshleemy-blog]

Sounds like my kind of dog!

[pics-that-make-you-go-hmm]

[bad-cartoon-ideas]

[henstomper]

if home improvement tim allen was a 2070s cyberpunk street mercenary what contacts would he have? what would his equipment be? what cyberware would he have?

[tamascotchi-deactivated20190101]

my black lab has farted three times in the last two minutes send help i'm fucking suffocating but i don't want to embarrass her

[chippyyyz]

close the meme. we have a winner.

[childlikemperor]

did anybody else grow up bein that one friend who was in the group but not really IN the group??? like your friends would go places and throw parties and not invite u n stuff????? idk that really fucked up my self esteem hbu

[unbfacts]

Man of the moment Keanu Reeves has shown his generosity by giving away £50 million of his earnings from the Matrix sequels. The 38-year-old decided to hand over the money to the unsung heroes of the sci-fi blockbusters - the costume and special effects teams.

[drst]

*fistbump*

[bitchwhoyoukiddin]

Confirmed.  He’s also dumped millions into cancer research.  I really do love Keanu Reeves a lot.

[fluffy-overlord]

Keanu Reeves is like the nicest person. He still lives in an apartment/flat and he gives most of his money away to charities and people who need it. He even invites some paparazzi people to sit down and eat with him when he’s at a coffee shop or restaurant. He’s such a nice person.

[utf2005]

[airspaniel]

When I was working on the UWS, one of my delivery guys accidentally backed his scooter into a parked car in front of the restaurant. I went out to help, since the driver didn’t speak much English, and it turned out the car belonged to Keanu Reeves. He helped us pick the scooter up, and when I asked if we could exchange insurance information (because the front of the car was pretty banged up), he kept telling us not to worry about it and put his hand on the driver’s shoulder and said “I just want to make sure you’re okay, man. Are you okay?” And he was so sincere about it and so kind that I decided in that moment I would always defend Keanu Reeves at all costs. He is an excellent man.

[jehovahhthickness]

I need to be more like Keanu Reeves because I’m evil compared to him.

[putmeincoach]

“Next few centuries”

Keanu dropping hints that he is an immortal.

[sunquark]

i love keanu reeves

[holdtightposts]

My wife and I were dining at Nobu’s in Honolulu and sitting across from us was Keanu or at least I thought it was. We kept talking about whether it was him or not and finally, I decided to throw some old school Bill & Ted at him.

I stood up and threw my arms up into the motion of an air guitar, my wife is begging me to sit back down, and I pointed at the guy who may be Keanu Reeves, and said, “Most Excellent.”

He stood up and did it back at me. Then we both had a moment and pointed at each other. I sent him another of whatever it was he was drinking. It was a cucumber sake martini. That was the end of it.

Or so I thought.

He left before we finished our meal. By the time we were done, dessert came that we didn’t order. We thought, “oh, must be compliments of the chef.” Then the bill never came. When we asked for it, our waitress said Keanu Reeves took care of it.

IT WAS REALLY HIM. And he left a note. It said, “thanks for the refresh. Keanu.”

When I finally saw him again years later, because of work. I brought it up. Then he air guitar and said, “most excellent. I remember. At Nobu’s. Thanks for the drink.” We chatted a bit and I got an autograph for my mum because she’s a huge Keanu fan. Then that was that.

What a moment.

[50shadesofyodaddysdick]

An angel

[fencer-x]

why is everyone surprised that the immortal undying Keanu Reeves has made fortunes over the millenia in which he’s roamed this earth like some charitable version of Vandal Savage?

[archiemcphee]

[leyorio-deactivated20170725]

hear ye hear ye ! 

it is i the kings herald here with a special royal announcement scroll from our lord king highness 

gather around villagers and hear the news !

[crimewave420]

Real music

[crimewave420]

[logarto]

when funny poast but op is unfortunate

[hexonomy-deactivated20171104]

[felderwin]

my favorite thing i’ve learned in college is that way back in ancient china there was this poet/philosopher guy who wrote this whole pretentious poem about how enlightened he was that was like “the eight winds cannot move me” blahblahblah and he was really proud of it so he sent it to his friend who lived across the lake and then his friend sends it back and just writes “FART” (or the ancient Chinese equivalent) on it and he was SO MAD he travels across the lake to chew his friend out and when he gets there his friend says “wow. the eight winds cannot move you, but one fart sends you across the lake”

[agnesmontague]

i googled this bc i desperately wanted this to be real, and guess what…it is.

the dude’s name was su dongpo (also known as su shi). his original poem went like this:

稽首天中天，

毫光照大千，

八風吹不動，

端坐紫金蓮

(Humbly bowed my head below all skies Minutest lights shine through my deepest bounds Immovable by strong winds from eight sides Upon purplish gold lotus I seated straightly by the low mound) (x)

on which his friend wrote “放屁” (fart, literally), and you know the rest.

(here’s a chinese source for the skeptics)

[blameaspartame-deactivated20200]

Metallicorn