Shawn’s welcome home party was finally reaching its peak as the clock struck closer and closer to midnight. He had been stressing himself out these past few weeks, wanting to wrap up his fifth world tour but still pushing himself, feeling obligated to give his fans only the best and nothing less. So when he finally came back home and settled in with loads of cuddles and kisses, a party was the next thing on his mind.
He wanted to keep it simple at first, just a few friends and family up all night at his condo with drinks and music, but it wouldn’t be a party in true Mendes fashion if he didn’t book out a club and invite people he had only seen in passing once. So that’s where you were right now, drink in your right hand and Shawn’s arm wrapped around your waist pulling you close.
The two of you were joking around with Brian and Matt as they recalled high school stories with Shawn when his career was first starting up.
“Damn y/n, four years ago we never would’ve seen you at a party, much less out this late,” Brain commented, laughing as he took a sip from his beer.
“Y/n L/n, the only 21 year old college student I knew who wasn’t at a party on a friday night,” Matt followed, with a wide grin on his face.
“Very funny,” you retorted, watching as their faces fell.
“Someone had to be there to pick you up when you were drunk and hopeless at 2 in the morning,”
Shawn pulled you in closer, giggling at how defensive you got. To say he was a clingy drunk would be an understatement. The boy was all over you even when he was sober, add alcohol to the mix and he wasn’t letting you go any time soon.
“We’re not complaining Y/n, just saying that ever since you met Shawn you’ve been different,” Brian replied, and at that moment you felt Shawn’s arm become stiff, almost as if a sudden truth had washed over him even in his drunken state. Glancing up at him, you tried to decipher his facial expressions, but when he looked back at you with a small smile on his face and a peck to your forehead, you knew whatever was running through his mind you would have to pry out of him later.
Shawn was off the rest of the night. No one else could tell but you knew, somehow you always knew. You noticed the way he forced himself to laugh, how the skin around his eyes didn’t crinkle like it normally did when he was smiling, how he had suddenly wanted to consume more alcohol, and even the way he seemed guarded whenever you were close by, almost as if he was trying to love you at a distance.
It was well after three in the morning before you both had gotten back to Shawn’s condo in a drunken state, him more than you, but you had plans to get him to talk before either of you went to bed, otherwise you knew it could be weeks even months before he let his thoughts slip. So after you had showered and changed, getting rid of the smell of alcohol and cigarettes, you planned to corner him in bed, making it so that he had no chance of escaping until you two had spoken.
He was on his side of the bed sitting up with a slumped posture and a clenched jaw as he scrolled through his camera roll, picking out photos he wanted to post while he waited for you to come join him. Stepping out of the bathroom, you quickly put away the clothing and jewelry you had worn that night and powered over to his side of the bed, snatching the phone out of his hand and placing it onto the nightstand.
Pulling the covers slightly off of him and straddling his lap you pushed his chin up and forced him to look up at you. His brown eyes that you loved had a look of defeat in them, making your heart break a little more.
“Baby,” you whispered, as he placed his arms around your waist and pulled you closer,“Can you tell me what’s wrong, so that we can fix it and move on.”
He simply shook his head, trying but failing to imply that there was nothing on his mind as he traced little patterns on your thighs and back.
You let out a little huff of air, “Ok we’re going to try this again. I need you to tell me what’s wrong so that we can fix it and move on,” you repeated, hoping that maybe this time he would let you in. When he didn’t respond you decided to wait a few minutes, knowing Shawn, time was sure to push him to say something.
Lucky enough, you were right.
“When was the last time you didn’t miss me?” he said, catching you off guard. You thought his change of attitude was work or career related, not directed towards your relationship, which made your heart sink even more.
“Shawn I miss you even when we’re 10 feet apart in the same room,” you joked, trying to ease the tension.
“I’m being serious Y/n, when was the last time you didn’t wish I could have been there?”
“Babe, where’s all this coming from? Is it something someone said or a media article comment?”
“No, no it’s just, Brian said how much you would never go out before you met me and your idea of a perfect friday night was curled up in bed reading a book. But with me, it’s always this party, or that red carpet. I just, I, do you not hate it?” he stammered out the last part.
Brushing a hand through his curls you gave him a quick peck on the cheek before responding to him.
“Well, here’s how I think of it. Right now I’m with you, I’m close to you and there’s nowhere else I want to be because my heart is full, it’s always content when it’s with you. But my brain knows that you just came home from tour, which means Andrew and your PR team are probably going to call you in for a few meetings and interviews, which means you’ll be gone again,” you replied, taking in a deep breath so you could continue and give him some time to process your words.
“So my brain is preparing to miss you, but my heart doesn’t want to miss you, it always wants you. But my brain and my heart also know that you’ll always come home. They pray that you’ll always come home to me.” you whisper, letting out a shaky breath as you try to keep your tears from falling.
Shawn presses a kiss to your forehead as his fingertips catch any tears threatening to fall. Looking up at you again he smiles, but then his expression becomes defeated again as he opens his mouth to reply.
“I love you, with my whole being, you know that. But it shouldn’t have to be this way. You shouldn’t have to miss me and I shouldn’t have to miss you. You deserve someone who’s always gonna be there, who doesn’t force you to change for them, who doesn’t drop their life and their schedule on you and your relationship and hope that you’ll still love him through it.” he says, wrapping his arms closer around you almost as if he’s savoring the moment before he plans on letting go.
That’s when it hits you, what he’s trying so hard to say, what he’s feeling, and everything in between. You tilt his chin up and press a hard kiss to his mouth, sending him a million messages, a million signals in the process, but pulling away too quickly for his liking.
“If you think for one moment that I don’t love you, that I don’t choose to be with you every single day, you really are dumber than I give you credit for,” you say with a smirk, placing a finger on his lips when he tries to respond, signalling that you’ve got a lot to say.
“I knew what I signed up for when you asked me out that day in the library. I knew that despite how crazy and hectic your schedule could get, it was your life, and you wouldn’t trade it for anything else. I knew that by being with you I would get the chance to love your beautiful soul and be loved by it.”
“I also knew that I would have to make some sacrifices, some bigger than others. But at the end of the day it all comes down to you. Not Shawn Mendes, international pop sensation and real life greek god, but Shawn Mendes, the boy that would break his own heart a thousand times before he let his girl get hurt. Shawn Mendes, the boy that bakes cookies and dances around the kitchen with me at 3 AM. Shawn Mendes, my soulmate, the one, the only boy I could ever love the way I do.” you ended, a smile etched on your face.
Tears were threatening to fall out of his eyes any second and his thoughts were racing a mile a minute but he knew what he wanted to say.
“Your mind and heart are amazing, you know. I got so lucky, so fucking lucky,” he whispered, finally looking into your eyes, this time though his were filled with an immense amount of love and adoration for you.
“Yeah well, there’s this guy I know who’s insanely handsome and passionate and -
“How many guys do you know that are that handsome?”, he butts in, cutting you off with a smirk but then wincing when you gave him a slight smack across the back of his head.
“Shut it you idiot. There’s this guy who’s an absolute pain in the ass,” you responded, emphasizing the pain.
“But he once said that changing is never a bad thing, it never was, and I’ve lived by that ever since,” you ended.
“Oh yeah, he sounds like a really wise guy”
“He is when he’s not annoyingly stupid” you retorted, heart finally soaring when he let out a real laugh, his chest rumbling underneath the palms of your hands.
“Yeah he’s really quite weird actually -”, you started, never getting to finish as Shawn threw you off his lap and proceeded to tickle you and kiss you.
Yeah, changing wasn’t a bad thing. Especially when it meant you would get to spend the rest of your life with him.
hi! here’s another cute fluffy piece! i was gonna write pure angst but it obviously didn’t end up that way, i hope you still enjoyed it though!
don’t forget to like, comment, and reblog if you enjoyed! feedback is always appreciated!
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well 🧍♀️ as a reminder this blog is NOT a safe space for trump supporters but it IS a safe place for women, queers, trans ppl, people of color, undocumented people, and any marginalized group.
do you ever sit back and get so emotional over the women who came before us. they fought so hard just so i could wear comfy pants and buy nice things with my very own debit card and if i dont want to i will never be forced to cohabit with a man much less marry one. thank you so much i will never forget that you gave me the right to vote and be heard instead of just seen and because of you i can live this life i am eternally grateful for all you have done. may we never forget them and honor our foremothers by living this life that is only ours to decide to the fullest and use it to achieve the same freedoms for all women that dont have them yet <3
Synopsis: Nikki let’s you try on her wedding dress and all the boys have a different reaction
Masterlist
“Hey, Nikki.” You yawned as you came down the stairs into the living room. “Good morning.
“Oh, hi darling.” Nikki looked up from the photo album she was looking through and smiled. “You didn’t go with the boys today?”
“No. Golfing isn’t really my thing.” You shrugged. “And I can’t only see your sons whine over who can hit the furthest so many times.”
“Good call.” She chuckled before going back to her book.
“What are you doing?” You wondered as you sat beside her on the couch.
“Just reminiscing. Our anniversary was a few days ago and I wanted to look at the pictures.” Nikki said as she slid the album to your lap. Your eyes lit up as you looked through the aged pictures of her wedding day.
summary: bucky never talked much. he fell in love anyway.
Bucky wasn’t a man of many words.
And you noticed that fairly quickly. In fact, it was one of the first things you noticed about him when you first joined the team. Quiet, reserved, gentle Bucky Barnes wasn’t a man of many words.
But his eyes spoke volumes.
“You don’t talk much, do you?”
His gaze fell, “Not much to say.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
And you pushed him a lot to do so. Always asked him about the 40s and what he was like. You remembered asking if he was just as quiet then as he was now and Steve laughed from across the room saying, “You’re kidding right, Y/N? Buck was a real smooth talker.”
So, you teased him about that often. He didn’t like it, always said something about not being that guy anymore.
You reminded him that he could be any guy he wanted.
So, yeah, Bucky wasn’t a man of many words, but you two got close.
“I know you stole the remote, Buck.”
He circled around the kitchen counter, walking away from you.
“Is it because you don’t want to watch that Disney movie with me? I know you secretly like it and —“
“I don’t have the remote, Y/N.”
“Oh, yeah? Then what’s that hanging out of your pocket?”
You saw that little grin form on his face and you hurried forward and grabbed it before he could say another word.
He chased after you.
Then there were those times where he did thoughtful little things. Where he let his heart show through that thick wall of his and it made you realize just how much he spoke without speaking.
“Did you guys drink all the coffee again? Really? Does no one —“
Bucky handed you a cup.
“Two sugars, right?”
“Yeah and —“
“A dash of cream.”
That was until he added salt into your coffee one morning.
“We ran out of sugar!” he defended.
“So you added salt? Buck, that’s —“ you eyed him. “You did it on purpose, didn’t you?”
He took a sip of his coffee.
“Oh, you’re getting brave. I can —“
You grabbed his coffee and headed straight for your room.
He chased after you again.
So, yeah you two got close.
Bucky wasn’t a man of many words, but you two still got close.
He never let his walls down completely though. Never enough to let you know what he was feeling anyway, if he was hurt. It didn’t bother you so much until you realized he was always hurt, always hurting and that stung a little too much.
“Buck…can you let me in? Please?”
“We can talk tomorrow, Y/N.”
You sighed, standing outside his door.
“I don’t wanna talk tomorrow. I wanna…we don’t have to talk at all, Buck. I just wanna be with you right now.”
No response.
“Please?”
You’ll want to talk anyway, you practically heard and you sighed because it was true.
You knew you’d ask him a bunch of questions and Steve already told you — he already told you that Bucky liked his space. That he got distant sometimes when the world got too much or people got too much for him. Sometimes his mind got too much and Bucky wanted a break. You slid down against his door and sat there for ten minutes hoping for a change of heart.
You weren’t leaving though.
“Hey, Buck, how about this?”
You continued when he didn’t respond. You knew he was listening.
“How about we create a system? One that doesn’t involve you talking or me asking. It can just be...our thing. It can our thing, Buck.”
Nothing.
“And we don’t have to do it all the time. Just when we need to. When I need to know things and you don’t feel like giving. Think you’ve already given too much, don’t ya think?”
Nothing again.
You sighed.
But then you heard the door open and you fell back a little. Bucky looked down at you, what system? his eyes read and you patted the ground in front of you, signaling for him to sit.
He sat.
“Okay so, two taps anywhere like this,” you pressed your fingers against the back of his hand twice. “Means you’re okay. That you’re fine. Three taps, however,” you pressed three times against his skin. “Means you’re not. That you’re not okay.”
He stared at your hands.
“And I don’t have to explain why?”
“Never, Buck. Not unless you want to.”
You tapped him four times.
“What’s that?”
“Four taps means you miss me.”
Bucky got up.
“Aw, c’mon Buck. Humor me a little!”
You didn’t miss the little grin on his face.
Somehow you thought he’d give you two taps just for that comment.
Bucky wasn’t a man of many words, so he liked the system.
He first used it three days after it was created.
He’d woken up and strolled in for his first cup of coffee. Wasn’t the least bit surprised when he found you already there, cup ready in hand with eggs to match because coffee isn’t breakfast, Buck. He’d usually argue about it. Coffee’s the only breakfast, he’d say, but he didn’t have that in him today.
Maybe it was because he hadn’t come out of his room in three days. Or maybe it was because you hadn’t said anything to him yet, but Bucky didn’t argue. He just found himself tapping your hand twice when he reached for the cup.
You grinned.
Bucky liked that.
And you found that was the one he used the most.
Two taps.
Two taps whenever he went off to bed. Two taps when you played that Godforsaken Disney movie for the 5th time that week. Two taps when Thor made some stupid comment about wars during dinner one night.
It was two taps.
Always two taps.
So you were more than a little surprised when your first three taps came.
It was right after a mission. A long one. One that Steve had gotten hurt on because Bucky hadn’t gotten there fast enough. It wasn’t his fault though. Wasn’t anyone’s fault because everyone was too preoccupied with the bad guys at hand to notice the knife coming for Steve’s left side. Bucky took the blame though. Beat himself up about till he got into the jet.
The words were on the tip of your tongue, are you okay? You wanted to say it. Wanted everyone to say it because how could they not notice?
You didn’t though.
Instead you sat next to him and waited for him to say something, anything. At some point, you felt yourself giving up and drifting off until you felt his hand on your thigh.
He squeezed it three times.
You rested your head on his shoulder.
Then there was that time you left for six days. Fury had you and Natasha assigned to some undercover mission in London for the next six days. It took the whole six days, while the boys jetted off to New Orleans to deal with some asshole causing a ruckus in the city.
They came back in two.
“Buck!” you shouted, waking through the compound and dropping your bag at the front door.
“Buck, I’m back! Where are —“ you grinned, finding him resting at the bar stool in the kitchen. He was reading some file and you dropped your head onto his shoulder from behind.
“Hey, Buck. Miss me?”
He stopped.
“No? Ouch, well, I missed you,” you turned your head, kissing his cheek. “Look, I even brought you back a keychain. Nothing fancy. Just has a cat waving the British flag and when I saw it, I thought of you. The cat looks grumpy.”
Bucky didn’t say anything and you removed your head from his shoulder. He must be really into the file, you thought and you didn’t want to bother him so you left the keychain on the table and turned around to head to your room.
Bucky grabbed you and tapped your waist four times.
You launched yourself at him and covered his face with a series of kisses. Everywhere. Anywhere you could reach and each one was followed by a string of I knew it, I knew it, I knew it’s.
Bucky never wanted to use the four taps again.
Except he did. All the time.
Bucky wasn’t a man of many words, but he thinks he was starting to fall for you.
Because he did four taps whenever you left the room for too long. And when Steve briefed them for too long that one time about some mission, Bucky found himself tapping your leg four times even though you were right there.
Right there. You were right there.
He even recalled nudging his nose against yours four times when you fell asleep on him during that damn Disney movie the previous week.
“Miss you,” he mumbled.
But it was okay because when you woke up the next morning, you nudged your nose against his cheek four times.
Bucky woke up with a bright gleam in his eyes.
“What was that for?” he asked.
“Missed you, obviously.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, Buck.”
And then there came a time where Bucky decided he wanted to create a new one. A new tap.
Bucky wasn’t a man of many words, but he knows he finally found love.
“Sweetheart, damn, can you slow —“
Because you were stuffing popcorn in his mouth. You were laying in front of him, in between him to be more exact, and throwing popcorn behind like it was nothing.
Most of it didn’t even make it into his mouth.
“Shh, this is the best part.”
“You say that everytime. We’ve seen this movie a —“
“Shh, Buck!”
Bucky laughed and pulled you up so you were closer to his chest. It wasn’t anything special that made him realize it. Thinks it was the familiarly and the comfortability that made him put the pieces together, but Bucky leaned down and pressed his lips against your hair three times. Just three and that was enough for you to tear your eyes away from the screen and look up at him.
“Buck?”
He didn’t say anything.
“Did I throw too much popcorn again? You know I get excited when Lucifer gets on screen. He reminds me so much of —“
Bucky tightened his arm around you and tapped his thumb against your stomach once.
You knitted your brows.
“One? Buck, one doesn’t mean anything. We don’t have —“
“One means I love you.”
“What?”
“One tap means I love you. It means I love you, Y/N.”
It took a few seconds for your brain to register but once it did you jumped up in his lap and turned to face him. Bucky's sure the popcorn bowl had spilled all over the floor, but he didn’t care. Not when his girl looked at him like that and leaned in to kiss him like that too. So fiercely and full of love.
“Okay, okay, baby! I said one tap.”
“One tap gets you a million kisses each time.”
“Mhm. I’m okay with that.”
You giggled, I know you are, you mumbled against him and kissed him a little harder. He felt brighter, more happy and he knew he wasn’t one to say much, but his eyes always did and that was enough for you to pull back for a quick second before leaning in to give him one, long, seething kiss.
One kiss.
And at that moment, Bucky knew the kind of guy he wanted to be.
He wanted to be the kind that was loved by you.
you held your pride like you should’ve held me @mendesssmoments - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
