hey g woujyumakmeasanwich @oppenheimerstyle - Tumblr Blog

i found the full tf2 mercs tick tock video

A comic about cavemen.

White tumblr user hearing aave for the first time: "lol whut??? Thats so weird haha im sooo old I cant keep up with this gen z slang! What does 'sliming out' even mean haha sounds like a silly gooey snack!"

nonexistent-triangle

at the club no drinks.in.fully stone cold sober: what if thsre was a secret city

seventyeight-moose

Face twists with bravery as a chill runs through the air We have to find it.

nonexistent-triangle

We have to find it

eebie

The apple they fed to snow white wasnt poision at all it was just a red delicious

tridentandtales

Two Egyptian rings of Hatnefer, depicting a scorpion and cowrie shells

New Kingdom, 18th dynasty, ca. 1492–1473 BCE

Metropolitan Museum of Art 36.3.3, 36.3.4

questionably-cryptid

we regret to inform everyone that the world’s most microwaveable hamster has left us for the arms of the lord

tpwrtrmnky

humans should be able to do a special Ultra Sleep after major life accomplishments where you're just out for like 32 hours or something and then you wake up fully refreshed in every way

perhats

I say shit like "If my memory serves me" knowing damn well it serves the dark lord

sol1loqu1st

did you know that you can increase the quality of your quesadilla by adding seasoning

sol1loqu1st

did you know that you can decrease the quality of your quesadilla by making a tumblr post while it's cooking and burning it

catsbeaversandducks

"no"

By yuki_illust19

teaboot

My mom likes to tell me about how when I was a little kid riding public transport with her I'd always smile and giggle and chat with weird old ladies who smelled like cat pee and homeless folks and strangers dressed in bizarre outfits but any time a tidy and respectable businessman in a suit and tie waved at me I'd immediately clam up, and she takes a great deal of pride in my supposed inherentability to clock personalities but the truth is I do vaguely remember those bus rides, and it was never about the clothes or the hair or the smell, but more because everyone "strange" asked interesting questions and listened to what I had to say and seemed to think about what I said while the neat and tidy and rigid folks only ever acted like they were going through the motions, which was boring as hell and also pretty annoying

teaboot

Well-to-do finance manager with tidy shoes: "Why hello, sweetheart. Can you say 'hi'? Aren't you cute. Are you on a trip with your mom?"

4 year old me: why must we do this

Fantastic old woman in the leopard print coat: "Why yes, my tooth IS real silver! Nobody ever asks me that. Do you like cats?"

4 year old me, suddenly paying attention: Finally, A Person Of Intellect