Roman Empire

Don't forget me when I'm gone.

[justaestheticiguess-deactivated]

[ricomincerai]

[margueriteaimee-deactivated2019]

Red delicious apples being named ‘delicious’ is one of the biggest deceptions of the human race.

[sapphicphoenix]

Omg I hit the reblog button so fast

[outrunmyself]

i feel this on a spiritual level.

[generalwow]

They were, at one time, delicious, but some fuck-up, let’s call him George, came along.

George decided the red delicious apples weren’t “red” enough, so he started to breed them so they became more red; however, as he did that, the delicious flavor was also bred out, but everyone thought they were better because they had a more consistent color.

They used to be delicious but not red, and now they are red but not delicious.

[margueriteaimee-deactivated2019]

🤔🤔 I had a feeling they used to taste a lot better than they do now. Stupid humans screwing with everything

[ibilateral-deactivated20210928]

Why is my name always used for bad shit :(

But seriously, just eat Red Gala apples

[cloudfreed]

or Pink Ladies

[sodomymcscurvylegs]

Ew. Eat honeycrisps. Love yourselves.

[damnitrj]

Fuck that Granny Smiths are where it’s at.

[bitter-bender]

Granny Smiths are a crock of shit

[lady-writes]

YOU COME IN TO MY HOUSE AND YOU INSULT PIEMAKING APPLES. WITHOUT GRANNY SMITH YOU WOULD HAVE NOTHING HOW DARE

[10102020303040405050-deactivate]

fuji apples tho

[i-aint-even-bovvered]

Granny Smiths are good for pies and nothing else. I like the classic macintosh to eat, but if I can get winecrisp I am golden (delicious)

[hashtagloveloses]

PINK LADY OWNS MY ASS

[live-and-let-bi]

You haven’t had apples till you’ve had ambrosia apples

[cryptiddies]

All of y'all can eat my ass. Granny Smiths are the best and have the perfect amount of tang. Macintosh aren’t as good a substitute.

[notcaycepollard]

BRAEBURN OR NOTHING

[sixth-light]

Royal Gala or go home

[asten]

HONESTLY IF YOURE HATIN ON GRANNY SMITHS YOU CAN UNFOLLOW ME RIGHT NOW IMMEDIATELY

[sabertoothwalrus]

One time I ate a Pink Lady at peak apple season and I almost cried

[libragrey]

Things are heating up in the apple Fandom.

[4gifs]

[theproblematicblogger]

That gazebo is so fucked

[didgeridooyouloveme]

Are you sure gazebo is the correct word?

Are

you 

sure?

[reeves3]

[rileyfriarhart-moved-deactivate]

cute things to call your girlfriend

demon queen

mythic bitch

the almighty

[aspenonthecoast]

I just saw ghostbusters. I am literally sitting here stunned and amazed. There was not one fat joke. Not a single one. I was waiting in the theater braced the entire time for jokes towards Patty and Abigail for their size, and there wasn’t a single one.

…kind of in awe, honestly.

[out-there-on-the-maroon]

They also showed all the ladies eating in the movie. No jokes about eating and getting fat, just, women eating food. Messily. Not sexily. Like normal people. 

There was a scene with the table covered in pizza boxes after a long day. No jokes. Just, they had dinner together. Women … eating food … like normal people. Not to be sexy or make a fat joke. Because they’re humans who require food. 

[dragontatoes]

take a look at this and realize how low the standard is for female representation in films

[lagoonas-deactivated20220915]

when will tumblr give us color coded text i wanna talk shit in pink

[fivelungs-blog]

mobile takes long enough to load I don’t want to wait till the next ice age because y'all are aesthetic shitposting in chartreuse comic sans

[tom-nippleston]

The people in the apartment below me are playing “Never Have I Ever” and I’m smoking on my porch creeping on their game

[tom-nippleston]

Guy 1: Never have I ever INTIONALLY walked in on my parents having sex Gal 1: fuck you brandon! It wasn’t intentional! I didn’t know what they were doing!!! Brandon (Guy 1): Shut up Katy no one is THAT oblivious take your drink

[tom-nippleston]

Katy: Never have I ever LOST a wet tshirt contest

(Good job Katy. You do you. Proud of you boo)

[tom-nippleston]

Gal 2: Never have I ever pierced my genitals Brandon: IT WAS IN FOR LIKE A MONTH! Katy: Whatever bitch, take a drink you Prince Albert having douche Brandon: I’m being singled out I hate you all

[tom-nippleston]

Guy 2: Never have I ever had a threescore [Pause] Guy 2: WHAT THE FUCK KATY?!?!?!?! Katy: Shut up Andrew it’s before we even knew each other this was years ago!!! [Pause] Andrew: And you won’t even watch porn with me…

(the family is disintegrating)

[tom-nippleston]

Brandon: Never have I ever been in such a confrontational game of Never Have I Ever….

[People saying ‘cheers’]

(stop fighting guys you’re tearing this family apart…..)

[tom-nippleston]

Andrew: Never have I ever had sex WITH a piece of food. [Pause] Andrew: Dude Brandon: Dude Katy: Dude omg Gal 2: what? Omg EVERY girl has practiced giving head with a banana! Katy: Um no Ester. SOME of us just practice on dicks. Ester: what the fuck though. Whatever.

(Don’t let them kink shame you Ester I still love you)

[tom-nippleston]

#TeamEster #BananaSplits

[tom-nippleston]

Andrew is testing a banana. Go for it andrew. Explore your wild side #TeamEster #TeamKink

[tom-nippleston]

Brandon: Never have I ever been called a fuckboy Katy and Andrew: TO YOUR FACE Brandon: Go fuck a banana Andrew

#TeamBananaFucking

[tom-nippleston]

Ester: Never have I ever had a crush on a family member Brandon: [random fumbling noises] Katy: brandon omg ew Andrew: yeah man come the fuck on wtf man its 2016 Brandon: SHE WAS MY COUSIN AND I WAS 13 IT’S NOT LIKE SHE WAS MY SISTER AND IT WAS JUST A CRUSH NOTHING HAPPENED Ester: methinks thou dost protest too fucking much Brandon: NEVER TELLING YOU SHIT AGAIN Andrew: Chug your drink, Sir IncestsALot Brandon: Chug a fucking banana Andrew

#TeamBananaFucking #TeamWhatTheFuckBrandon

[tom-nippleston]

Katy and Andrew have gone home in an Uber to apparently sex it up. Alway use a designated driver, kids. And always put protection on your Banana.

#BananaCreamPie #GamesOverKids #TeamEster

[hotmenandotherdistractions]

This is spectacular.

[dundermifflinscranton]

[wildly-outspoken]

[dailyladylyrics]

sick and full of pride, all we do is drive

drive / halsey

[forreal-tho-deactivated20230613]

[excima]

I’m screeching

[art-tension]

[rus-califi]

Welcome to the space age, ladies and gentlemen

[svcker-pvnch]

@terraform-titan important.

[terraform-titan-deactivated2019]

🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

[oddity-txt]

So I found this caterpillar on my way to class

We’re bros

[oddity-txt]

I named him chicken nugget

[oddity-txt]

Aaaa he’s turning a duller color… I hope he’s alright

[oddity-txt]

So apparently chicken nugget is a spicebush swallowtail and they turn yellow before they pupate. He was making little silk things everywhere Bruh this caterpie is going to evolve to metapod today my boy isn’t messing around

[oddity-txt]

update hes entirely yellow now

[oddity-txt]

i made him a tube room

hes crawlin all over the place checking it out

[oddity-txt]

its happening

[oddity-txt]

False alarm he moved a bit This guy

[oddity-txt]

??? caterpie doesnt evolve into kakuna

[oddity-txt]

whats he doing

[oddity-txt]

its happening part 2 For Real This Time

[oddity-txt]

chicken nugget using those advanced tactics balancing my man doesnt do anything halfway

[oddity-txt]

i put on some tunez for him so he can get into the metamorphazone

[oddity-txt]

sorry for keeping you all in suspense but chicken nugget is doing fine and he has a cool hat now

hes been chillin like this for a couple days 

[oddity-txt]

hes been in cocoon for 10 days now 🎉🐛🎉

[rebecca-lotto]

let me know how he’s doing soon

[oddity-txt]

HES BUSTIN OUT

[oddity-txt]

im going to sleep, chicken nugget is snoozin and ill check up on him as soon as i wake up

hope he doesnt party too hard 

🐛 💤 💤

[oddity-txt]

hes gone goth hes in his emoteen stage

[oddity-txt]

CHICKEN NUGGET IS A CHICKEN WING NOW BABY WE HAVE LIFTOFF!!!!!

[oddity-txt]

hes’s in a bigger container than the one in the pic now but im gonna let my home boy find his way in the world after he gets used to his wings a little bit

[oddity-txt]

this kid doesnt have a bad angle dang

[oddity-txt]

https://youtu.be/TwpFUQzvRp0

there he goes he’s free and im so proud and a little sad

this was an incredible experience

(thats my family oohing and ahhing in the background)

[kxte]

how does one turn their emotions off

[jackasssed-deactivated20200128]

Okay so first go to settings

[jackasssed-deactivated20200128]

I’m a fucking idiot I thought that said emojis at first

[ssfith]

 no, im still willing to try this, go ahead, im at settings, what do next

[iswearimnotnaked-deactivated201]