An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Summary: Will and Merlin had always looked forward to the harvest ever since they were little. They got to run around, cheer and holler, sing as loud as they wanted and no one would bat an eye. It was the day when their raucous troublemaking was viewed by the village not as an annoyance, but as part of all the fun. Today was different, though.
**********
Will and Merlin sat on the roof of a house in Ealdor, legs kicking off the side and knees touching ever so slightly. Their faces were illuminated by the golden yellow light of the full moon that greatly contrasted the dark night sky.
The air smelled of a cool night breeze, crisp autumn leaves, and food cooking in the village below. Music played softly from somewhere not too far away. It was the day of harvest in Ealdor when the farmers bring in the crops they’ve been growing all summer and come together to make a feast, with everything ranging from roasted pheasant to sweet desserts. A bonfire is lit and everyone dances and drinks, having one more day of laughter before the weather turns cold and dismal and the crops die out.
Will and Merlin had always looked forward to the harvest ever since they were little. They got to run around, cheer and holler, sing as loud as they wanted and no one would bat an eye. It was the day when their raucous troublemaking was viewed by the village not as an annoyance, but as part of all the fun.
Today was different, though.
A few days ago, Merlin told Will that his mother was thinking about sending him away to Camelot. She had learned that Will knew about Merlin’s magic, and was terrified of what he would do with this information. She was only looking out for her son, but it deeply hurt Will. After all, she was wrong. He would never betray Merlin. Will was his best friend.
They were friends for life, and that wasn’t going to change now. It was the way things had always been. The thought of not having Merlin in his life anymore had really gotten to Will. It burrowed into his mind and wouldn’t leave him alone, no matter how hard he tried to get rid of it. Simply thinking about it put Will into a dejected state, and he no longer felt much like talking, not even to Merlin.
The silence hung heavily between them even on the day of the harvest, putting quite a damper on the carefree and cheerful mood they were normally in. Only a few words had been exchanged during dinner, and they merely watched others participate in festivities as they stood to the side.
Knowing this could very well be the last harvest he spent with Merlin, Will wanted to make it the best one they’ve ever spent together, but he couldn’t.
No matter what he did, it wasn’t going to be what he wanted, and it certainly wasn’t going to change anything.
One good night wouldn’t be enough to say everything Will wanted to say to Merlin.
Besides, it would pale in comparison to the memories they’d created when they were young.
“What are you thinking about?” Merlin’s voice jerked Will back into reality, and he blinked a few times before turning his head to address his friend.
His breath escaped him when he really looked at Merlin for the first time that night. The moonlight hit Merlin’s cheekbones in just the right way, accentuating their sharpness. His deep blue eyes were shining and glittered with the reflection of the millions of stars that decorated the sky. He was almost glowing, his pale skin stark against his raven hair, reminding Will of the moon and the sky.
He realized his gaze lingered a little too long, and he quickly averted his eyes back down to his feet and mumbled, “Oh, I was just thinking about when we were younger, how much fun we’d have at harvests.”
Merlin laughed and leaned to the side to lightly shove Will with his shoulder and joked, “Are you saying we don’t have fun anymore?”
“You know that’s not what I meant,” Will snapped.
Merlin quieted.
The painful silence returned.
“I’m sorry, that came out harsher than I expected,” he sighed. Of course, the mood was finally lightening up and he’d gone and ruined it. “I was just looking back on some good times.” He glanced back up to Merlin. He had a soft smile on his face.
Good; Will hadn’t completely messed things up.
“Any specific moments that come to mind?” Merlin asked and chuckled. Will knew he was partially joking, but he also knew Merlin was curious.
With a yawn, Will stretched his arms over his head and leaned back a little before answering, “Yeah, there are a few things.”
Come a little bit closer
Hear what I have to say
“Will! Wait up!”
“It’s not my fault you’re a slowpoke!”
“Merlin, be careful!” Hunith called from one of the tents set up around the village, piling her plate with meat and carrots. “Don’t fall.”
Will doubled over laughing and pointed his finger at Merlin. “Yeah, be careful sweetie, don’t fall!” Before Merlin could retaliate, Will was already rushing to the table that held all the desserts, leaving Merlin in the dust.
“‘Scuse me, mister,” Will mumbled as he shoved past Old Man Simmons and grabbed the one remaining fruit from a plate, leaving only crumbs behind.
Merlin ran up behind Will, just a second too late. “Will,” he whined, “You took the last one!”
“Again, you’re a slowpoke,” Will giggled and stuck his tongue out.
“Not fair!”
Will smirked, then took his tart and raised it to his mouth to take a bite, but stopped just before he did.
In front of him, Merlin, with his rosy cheeks and ears that stuck out too far, gazed at the tart with eyes that welled with tears. His bottom lip trembled as he watched Will holding the sweet.
Will looked down at the tart, then back up at Merlin. He did this a couple more times, then huffed as he outstretched his arm to his friend.
“Here, you can have it,” he grumbled. “You like them better, anyways.”
Merlin’s eyes widened and he audibly gasped. “You really mean it?”
“Yeah, you clotpole, I mean it.”
With gentle hands, Merlin slowly took the tart from Will, who gave him a small nod of encouragement. Once he had it in his hands, he paused for a moment, then threw his arms around Will and hugged him tightly. “Thank you, Will.”
Although taken aback at first, Will gave into the hug and patted Merlin’s back.
“Yeah, anytime.”
Just like children sleepin'
We could dream this night away
“You’ve always been such a hog,” Merlin teased, earning a chuckle out of Will. “Especially when it comes to desserts.”
Will protested lightheartedly. “Oh come on, you can’t blame a guy for loving sweets, can you? I mean, those tarts John makes are really something else.”
“That’s why they’re my favorite,” Merlin agreed with a smirk on his face. “Did you manage to grab any today? I didn’t really notice; my head was somewhere else.”
“There weren’t any,” Will replied a bit stiffly. “At least none that I saw.”
“Are you sure you looked hard enough?”
“Yeah.”
Merlin’s smirk faded, and he scratched his head then turned away.
Will scolded himself internally for making the situation uncomfortable yet again. He just couldn’t keep his big mouth shut, could he?
He shifted a little, moving the slightest bit away from Merlin, their dangling knees no longer touching. Will didn’t understand why he was being so awkward around Merlin, someone he’d known all his life, his best friend since they were kids. The thought of Merlin leaving saddened him, but that wasn’t the only thing.
It was something different.
He hadn’t felt this way around Merlin before, not really. Well, except for maybe--
“Hey, I just remembered something!” Merlin said, his voice bright.
Will glanced up and met Merlin’s eyes, putting his thoughts on hold for the moment. “What is it?”
“Just another memory from a harvest a few years back.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, and I think you’ll remember this one, too.”
But there's a full moon risin'
Let's go dancin' in the light
The gleeful sound of laughter mixed with the sound of the roaring fire crackling and jovial music playing from villagers with their various instruments.
Will and Merlin skipped around the fire, around and around in circles, giggling and singing out loudly to their hearts’ content. Merlin’s surroundings were a whirling mix of a fiery blaze and bright sparks. There was maybe a flash of a nearby tree or someone passing by, but it was all so blurry, he couldn't tell for sure.
His lungs grew hungry for air and he gulped it in, tasting ash on his tongue.
He was getting out of breath, but he didn’t care. He was having too much fun to notice.
He gripped Will’s hand, slick with sweat, as tightly as he could, then closed his eyes and let his feet carry him wherever they may please. The fire was deafening in his ears and now he really couldn’t tell what was happening around him, but it was perfect that way.
At least, it was until his hand slipped from Will’s and he collided into the body of a much taller person.
‘Oh no,” he heard Will snicker, his voice full of mirth.
That couldn’t mean anything good.
Slowly, Merlin opened his eyes and found himself staring up at the wizened, vexed face of their very own Old Man Simmons. Merlin immediately stumbled back and cursed quietly to himself. Of course, out of everyone in Ealdor, he had to have run into Simmons.
The old man raised his hand, clenched tightly in a fist, and shook it at Merlin., “It’s you, naturally,” he sneered. “It’s always you when there’s trouble in this village. Why can’t you be normal like the rest of us?”
Merlin shrunk back against Will and bit his tongue. He wanted to retaliate but wasn’t going to risk slipping up and saying something about his magic. Instead, Will stepped forward and placed an arm in front of Merlin protectively.
“I’m sorry, sir, but that’s no way to speak to him. I’d say that was rather rude of you,” Will chided. Simmons was growing more and more agitated, and he shot back. “I can speak to the boy however I want to.”
Will straightened and advanced further. His eyes were nearly level with those of Old Man Simmons. He’d gotten tall in the past few years.
“He has a name, and it’s Merlin,” he fired.
Merlin hissed behind him, “Will, just leave it. I’m alright.”
Ignoring his friend, Will continued, “He has every right to be called his name as everyone else here does.”
“Will!”
“Don’t test me, boy.”
He must’ve been deaf, for he only continued to push the subject. “So why don’t you apologize to my friend here, who you so disrespectfully yelled at?”
That was it. Rage boiled in the face of the old man and he yelled at the two of them, waving his arm about wildly, ”Get out of here you little wretches, or you’ll regret it!!”
At that, Will turned on his heels and grabbed Merlin’s wrist, dragging him along as he sprinted into the foggy forest beyond the borders of Ealdor. The rambling shouts of Old Man Simmons rang out in the air behind them, but soon faded, along with the other sounds of the bustling village and the warmth of the fire. Their feet pounded heavily against the mossy ground and they filled the chilly air with their breath. At some point during the run, Will must’ve let go of Merlin because he was several strides ahead, his long legs carrying him farther.
They ran for a few more minutes until the light from Ealdor could no longer reach them, and they stood alone in the empty woods.
Will leaned against a tree and bent halfway over with his hand on his chest, panting heavily and laughing as well. Merlin fell to the ground, then tilted his head up to the sky, breathing in the clean fresh air.
As soon as he’d caught his breath, he stood up and brushed the muddy dead leaves off his pants. He turned to Will, and their eyes locked. Will began to beam and he burst out into laughter, doubling over yet again. Merlin chuckled a little too, but not as much.
Will, after laughing a bit more, noticed, and asked, “What’s wrong?” He placed a hand on Merlin’s shoulder and ran his eyes over Merlin’s troubled countenance. “Didn’t you see his face? It was priceless.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Merlin agreed, averting his gaze. “But I wasn’t done dancing. I was having a lot of fun.”
Instantly, Will’s features softened. He withdrew his hand from Merlin’s shoulder and chuckled a little. “Oh, Merlin,” he sighed.
“What?”
“You don’t need music to dance, now do you?”
Merlin cocked his head and furrowed his brow. The corner of his mouth raised in a mocking smirk and he queried, “And how exactly does one do that?”
With a gentle and reassuring tone, Will told him, “Take my hand, I’ll show you.”
We know where the music's playin'
Let's go out and feel the night
“And that’s how you taught me to dance,” Merlin finished. “I mean, really dance.”
During the story, Will had relaxed and brought his legs up onto the roof. Merlin had done the same and they sat facing each other, legs crossed and their faces lit up.
Below in the village, people were beginning to head inside for the night. The bonfires were reduced to smoldering embers and a lone musician played his lyre.
Will breathed out in a sort of laugh. He shook his head and replied, “You kept stepping on my feet, and you tried to put your hands on my waist, remember?”
“But we eventually got the hang of it, didn’t we?”
Will nodded half-heartedly and murmured, “I guess we did.”
He remembered it as being one of the best nights of his life, but he wasn’t about to admit that. Not now.
The feeling of Merlin’s sharp eyes watching his every move burned into him, and he tried to shift the conversation elsewhere. He looked at their surroundings for something to talk about. There was the mottled grass below, the dark expanse of forests, tops of the heads of villagers, nothing really noteworthy. Then Will glanced up back at the sky he had been admiring in Merlin’s eyes earlier.
It was just as breathtaking spread out above them; a vast comforting blanket of black, dressed in a canopy of luminescent stars. While it was easy to ignore this dusting of light and instead fixate on the glowing moon that bathed the earth in its warm light, Will knew that the stars are what truly caught Merlin’s fancy.
He lifted one finger and pointed into the sky above.
“There, that’s the bear,” Will said as if Merlin didn’t already know. “You can tell because of the way those three stars right there are connected.”
“You remembered what I taught you last year,” Merlin whispered. Will didn’t need to see him to know that he was smiling.
Ignoring him for now, Will continued, “And past the bear, just north, there’s the hunter.”
But now it's gettin' late
And the moon is climbin' high
“Do you know why they call it that?” Merlin eagerly asked. They lay on the soft yellow grass of a glade in the woods, staring up at the autumn sky above. Before Will even got the chance to make a guess, Merlin was already explaining. “That big star and the little ones below it make it look like a spear!”
“That’s incredible,” Will said, not really listening to anything Merlin said. He was distracted by how attractive Merlin was when he was excited about something. He could listen to Merlin talk for ages about anything. It was worth it just to see him so happy.
“And you know how my mom always says the sky tells you stories?”
“Mhm?”
“She’s right. Right by the hunter is this boar he’s hunting, see and-”
At some point, Merlin’s voice blended into the sound of the wind brushing through the branches of the evergreen trees, and the crickets chirping around them. The sky was incredibly clear that night, and the air smelled of the earthy scent of petrichor.
Merlin had his hand in the air, droning on and on about the story of the hunter. He watched the stars in fascination, unaware that Will was looking someplace else. With his hands resting on his chest, he couldn’t help but turn his head until his cheek was pressed against the ground and he looked straight at Merlin, mere inches apart from each other. The edges of Merlin’s face glowed a honeyed amber with the light of the moon. His lips moved but Will heard no words from them. He didn’t need to.
If he could spend forever frozen in this one night, he would.
Merlin didn’t need to use his magic for their time spent together to feel enchanting.
The moment was broken when Merlin stopped talking, apparently noticing the lack of engagement in their so-called conversation and turned his head to face Will.
Suddenly they were both staring deep into each other’s eyes. Merlin’s were wide and searching Will’s face, looking for nothing in particular. Will was sure he himself had stilled completely and was gawking directly at his friend. He wasn’t sure how to act. He was taken aback by their sudden closeness, although he did not object to it.
For what felt like an eternity, they lay next to each other on the forest floor, before Merlin sat up and laughed. “You didn’t listen to a word I said, did you?”
Will, in turn, sat up as well and immediately apologized, “I’m sorry, I wanted to listen, but I just got distracted.”
“What, by my pretty face?” Merlin teased, though there was something in his voice that made it sound like he wasn’t completely joking.
A fiery heat shot through Will’s cheeks and his heart began to thump in his chest. “Oh, I didn’t, I wasn’t, I-” he began, but was stopped by Merlin waving him off.
“Don’t worry, I was just kidding,” he said as he stood up. “I know you’re just tired.” He extended his hand out to Will.
Thankful for not having to explain himself, Will chuckled and took Merlin’s hand in his. He was lifted from the ground and came face to face with Merlin again. Will couldn’t help noticing that they were about the same height now. Will had always been the taller one, but now maybe that was going to change.
Things always change.
I want to celebrate
See it shinin' in your eye
And then Will realized.
He realized what he would’ve said that night if Merlin never cut him off, and he realized that if he didn’t say it now, here, on their final harvest before Merlin left him, he would never say it.
Last harvest together, last chance to say it, last chance to finally get it all right.
He’d spent all night being distant and detached, pushing Merlin away in fear of not being able to make the night as good as he wanted it to be, but that was just the problem.
He wasn’t going to get anywhere unless he said something; unless he tried.
Suddenly it all felt right.
Sitting there on the roof under the stars, talking in the light of the full moon, reminiscing on the time they’d spent together over the year, there had never been a better time. Will was a fool to not have realized this earlier. The crisp night air hung heavy with words unspoken but were on the cusp of being said. The breeze ran through Merlin’s hair, ever so slightly rustling it and his eyes were wide and staring expectantly at Will, waiting for him to say something.
“Merlin,” he began steadily, picking and choosing his next words in his head. He had to find the right way to say this; simply blurting it out wasn’t going to do. His mind ran through certain memories over and over again, trying to find the perfect one. He found himself coming back to a harvest day long ago when they’d been little more than toddlers. He wasn’t sure if Merlin would even remember it, but it was worth a try to bring it up.
Will continued quietly, “There’s one more thing that I was thinking about.”
“What is it?” Merlin asked, and leaned forward slightly.
“We were very young; it’s possible you’ll have no idea what I’m talking about.”
With a lopsided grin, Merlin responded, “Oh come on, I have a great memory. Try me.”
Still hesitant, Will looked up to Merlin’s face, his eyebrows narrowed. “Okay. So, do you remember one year, when we were out by the creek, playing?”
“Go on.”
Shifting a little, Will sighed. He was already blushing, wasn’t he? “Well, my mum had just told me about what being in love was like.”
Merlin’s face stiffened. He was even paler than he had been before and he inhaled sharply. The grin was gone from his face. Oh god. He had messed up. Merlin was going to think he was insane. He should’ve never had said anything in the first place, what was he thinking? He-
“I remember this,” Merlin spoke softly. “Keep going.”
Will’s panicked thoughts came to a halt. Oh. Maybe he still had a chance. “I was just a kid, you know, and I still hadn’t quite grasped the concept.”
“Right.”
“And so I,” he stopped to laugh in attempts to lighten the mood a little, then resumed, “I told you I was in love with you.”
His breath hitched in his throat on the last words. His chest was tight and the anticipation of how Merlin was going to respond to this suffocated him.
The painful silence from earlier that night was back and worse than ever. Merlin just stared at Will with an uninterpretable look on his face. It felt like an eternity that they sat there on the roof, just staring at each other. Will's heart was hammering now. He hadn't even really said it yet and already he was terrified.
Finally, after an agonizing minute, Merlin spoke. "Will, are you trying to say something?" There was genuine concern in his voice. "You seem kinda nervous."
"Ahhh, I don't know," Will started to backtrack. He wasn't sure anymore that this was the right thing to do. "Let's just move on."
Merlin didn't move on. "Actually, you've been off the whole night," he pressed. "Not just this night, too. You've been acting strange ever since I told you my mum was going to send me away to Camelot."
"Merlin, listen-"
"No, you listen," Merlin was growing louder. "If you have something to tell me, Will, please just tell me. You're my best friend and I don't like how weird you've been recently." Will tried protesting and changing the subject again, but to no avail. "Please Will, whatever it is, just tell me."
Blood was rushing in Will's ears, beginning to deafen and overwhelm him. Merlin pushed further and further, begging Will to just tell him.
There were too many noises all around, too much pressure to say it, now no escape from the words just on the tip of his tongue.
Will pulled his face into a tight grimace and blurted out in a brusque manner, "I was right!"
Merlin stopped talking in an instant, freezing mid-sentence. He tilted his head curiously, and through his heavy breathing, asked, tentativeness creeping into his voice, "Right about what?"
Will shut his eyes, not being able to look Merlin in the face as he let it all come tumbling out.
His heart felt like it had stopped beating.
His limbs were made of stone.
His lips were chapped and his throat was dry, but he still poured as much of his soul into his words as he possibly could and croaked. "I was right, okay?”
A pause.
“I’m in love with you."
“Oh.”
“I love you and I was scared that I wasn't going to be able to tell you and I’m so sorry for all of this,” he finished.
There was no pain in the air now, no empty space between them, the confession so heavy it was tangible.
When Will managed to meet Merlin’s gaze, he felt right for the first time that night.
A rosy and twinkling magic washed through him, warming him from head to toe. It filled his lungs with fresh air and soothed his aching heart. On that night under the stars, the same magic had been so strongly present. It had taken Will over and coaxed him into an enchanting dream.
Will hadn’t quite been able to identify the magic before, but tonight he knew.
He knew that it was love, and those two nights weren’t the only times it had been there.
The magic was always in him when he was around Merlin, really. It just came in varying degrees
It was in him when their hands would brush accidentally, when Will looked at Merlin for a few seconds longer than friends should, and even when they were simply in each other’s presence.
Will loved Merlin in every way he could; in his eyes that made Will weak in the knees, in how his ears stuck out, in his kindness to those in the village, in the way Merlin cared about things more than anyone Will had ever known before.
He loved Merlin for his connection to the world surrounding them, for never putting himself first, and for the way he lived.
Will loved Merlin just for being who he was, and the tenderness in Merlin’s softened features and the coy smile on his lips as Merlin stared back at him told Will that Merlin felt the same way.
He didn’t need to hear the words, but Merlin said them anyway.
Placing one gentle hand on Will’s knee, Merlin shook his head and softly laughed. “Will, you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to hear you say that.” He gave a small squeeze to Will’s knee.
“I can’t believe I never said it before,” Will replied breathlessly. “I mean, I’m not sure even if I knew before. Well, I think in a way I always have, but--”
“Hey, it’s alright,” Merlin calmed him. “I don’t need an explanation. Besides, it’s something I’ve been wanting to say for a while now, too.”
Will hoped Merlin couldn’t tell he was blushing under the light of the moon.
His shoulders relaxed and he felt incredibly light after the weight of it all had been lifted off his shoulders.
Merlin knew Will loved him, and Will knew Merlin loved him.
The moment was perfect, but it was fleeting as well, for their situation resurfaced in Will’s mind, along with the reason he’d been so cold. Merlin was leaving him.
“Oh God, it’s not too late is it?” he asked, panicked.
Merlin scrunched his nose, perplexed. “What do you mean?”
“We’ve had our entire lives for this, we’ve had all the time there is in the world,” he explained, “and of course I’m telling you now.”
“Will…” “Merlin, you said she’s just thinking about it, but you and I both know that she’s really going to send you away.” Will’s voice cracked on the last word. His throat tightened up thinking about everything they’d missed. They could’ve been something, but maybe he waited too long.
They hadn’t even kissed.
A cold hand to his cheek took him out of his head. Merlin was leaning in close now, and he murmured, “It’s not too late.” He ran his thumb over Will’s cheekbone soothingly. Will closed his eyes with a shaky exhale and accepted the comforting touch. Merlin must’ve been even closer now, for his hot breath tickled Will’s ear as he whispered, “Do you hear that?”
Will strained to hear what Merlin may be talking about. Carried by the breeze was the sound of various instruments buzzing with a low and peaceful melody. The lyre player was not so lonely anymore.
“There’s still music, Will. And see up there, above our heads?”
“The moon,” Will responded, not having to open his eyes.
Hair rustled through his own. Merlin was nodding. “Right, so that means there’s still light too.”
Will chuckled and blinked his eyes open. “So the night isn’t over.”
“We still have time to make this our most memorable harvest yet.”
Because I'm still in love with you
I want to see you dance again
In front of a dying fire where the embers still burned bright and not too far from music, Will and Merlin stood across from each other, smiles on their faces and a sense of belonging in their hearts. The golden light from the sky above created dark shadows and dappled the dull grass beneath their feet. It soaked their complexions with warmth, and for the millionth time that night, Will was taken away by Merlin.
He huffed out an admiring laugh and offered an outstretched hand to Merlin, who took it with a sensitive but firm grip. WIll slightly tugged on Merlin’s hand and drew him closer until their faces were in such close proximity that WIll had to turn his head upwards to meet Merlin’s eyes.
He had grown taller.
“Remember how I taught you?” he spoke in a low voice, to which Merlin responded by nodding and cupping his other hand around Will’s waist.
The instant he had, his face turned red and he quickly withdrew it. “Oh, I’m sorry. I did it again.”
Will opened his mouth, planning to tell Merlin it was alright and to continue as normal, but after a moment’s thought, he changed his mind. “It’s alright.’ “Pardon me?” A coy smile tugged at the corner of Merlin’s mouth.
“Don’t be like that,” Will teased. “Go on, just for tonight, you can lead.”
Although Merlin seemed skeptical at first, he obliged and placed both his hands now on Will’s waist. He pulled Will’s hips forward a little until they were pressed up against each other, their body heat considerably warming up the brisk autumn night.
Will reached his arms around Merlin’s neck and rested his forehead on Merlin’s. Once they were in place, they began to dance.
They swayed gently side to side to the ambient music, perfectly in sync with one another. Will was vaguely aware of Merlin’s slender fingers moving down his waist, trying to find a good grip. He felt Merlin’s breath mingle with his and heard him humming quietly to the melody. They were comfortable and safe in each other’s arms under the full moon. The only thing either of them cared about at that moment was each other.
Will’s arms tightened around Merlin’s neck. He clung onto him as if he’d be dragged away at any second, which was all too real a possibility in Will’s mind. As they moved back and forth together, loneliness and grief already began to crawl up Will’s spine and into his head.
This, here, right now, was the closest they were going to be for a long while.
Before he knew it was happening, tears were spilling down Will’s face. He buried his face in the crook of Merlin’s neck, into his neckerchief, and began to weep. He wanted to stop, to not make this night any more tragic than it already was, but he couldn’t.
Luckily, Merlin noticed and brought their swaying to a slow stop. He sharply inhaled, breath catching in his throat as he slid his hand up and started to run his fingers through Will’s hair.
“It’ll be alright,” he murmured. “It’s all going to be fine.”
Will continued to cry into his shoulder, staining Merlin’s neckerchief with his tears, but he did not cease. He dug his fingers into the collar of Merlin’s worn jacket and held on for dear life.
“Merlin,” he wept. “I’m so sorry I’ve been acting distant recently, I was…” He paused to gulp in a breath. “I am terrified of the thought of you leaving, and I don’t know how to deal with it.”
The music had died out, and the fire was going to as well any minute now.
“Shh, it’s okay Will, I understand,” Merlin spoke calmly, but Will knew him well enough to hear that he was crying as well. “I love you.”
That only made Will sob harder, his body wracked with pain, but he was laughing, too. He was laughing because he’d finally admitted his true feelings for Merlin, and it was all under the wrong circumstances, but still perfect.
Will always did enjoy the tragedies.
In the middle of a chuckle, he lifted his head back up to look into Merlin’s eyes. The raven-haired boy’s face was tear-streaked and his bottom lip trembled. He wasn’t far from breaking down as well. He stammered a few times before getting out “Will--”
Whatever he was going to say next was cut off by Will closing the distance between them and pressing his lips to Merlin’s tenderly. He brought his hand to the side of Merlin’s face and deepened the kiss, only pulling back for air for a second before going back in.
Will had been dreaming of this moment for years.
Merlin kissed back gently while his fingers rested underneath Will’s chin, tilting it upward.
Will went slowly, wanting to make this moment last for as long as he could.
The magic had returned, and it burned with more fire than it ever had before. So this is what love, passionate, intense, true love was like.
Will thought to himself that he could get used to it. It was too bad he wasn’t going to get the chance.
Finally he pulled away after what felt like minutes but was probably only mere seconds.
Merlin’s eyes were brighter than they’d ever been before, and it wasn’t just because of the stars. They glistened with pure joy and tears, and Will was sure his did as well.
“Please,” he whimpered. “I don’t want you to go.”
More tears were welling up in Merlin’s eyes and he bit his lip to keep them from falling. “I don’t want to go, but I have to,” he said, his voice wavering. “And you have to let me.”
“No,” Will cried. He pressed his face into Merlin’s chest and kept his hands clenched into the coat collar. “No, you can’t go, I don’t want you to.”
Merlin shut his eyes and one more tear fell. He rested his chin on top of Will’s head and reassured him, “I’m going to come back to visit you, alright?” They had started to sway again, even though the night air was still and silent and the fire was gone, only a wispy tendril of white smoke in its place. “You know I’ll come back.”
Will kept his head down, but his crying ceased, at least partially. With a sniff, he asked, “Do you promise?”
“I promise.”
That was the end of the conversation.
Nothing more was needed.
Merlin brought his hands back down to Will’s waist, and their foreheads met again. And so there they danced, by the outskirts of the foggy forests of Ealdor, smoke swirling beneath their feet. The lights in the village had gone out, but they had all the light they needed from the moon. They danced with no music, but as Will had taught Merlin several years ago, you don’t need music to dance.
Because I'm still in love with you
On this harvest moon
