(208): I’m actually glad you’re quitting. Now there’s one less person at work who’s seen me naked.

shark vs the universe

JVL
h
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

Love Begins

ellievsbear
almost home

pixel skylines
AnasAbdin
Show & Tell
ojovivo

Kaledo Art

roma★
Stranger Things

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Keni
noise dept.

Origami Around

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣

seen from United States
seen from Ireland

seen from Malaysia
seen from Argentina
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Japan
seen from Cambodia

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from T1
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Türkiye
seen from Cambodia
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@merlinthecyberwizard
(208): I’m actually glad you’re quitting. Now there’s one less person at work who’s seen me naked.
Submitted by theanisplanet
(451): Kinda want to grow old with you
(32): What?
(451): What?
|| hullo! :)
// *creeps around corner and waves frantically at you*
//peaks out from the darkness
Soon
I just missed these two.
open
“-I hit him with my car.”
"I am sure he deserved it"
(918): You’re not talking any sense into me. You’re cheering me on to disaster.
(405): …is that not half the reason I’m your best friend in the first place?
OK SO EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT GLASGOW YOU WILL KNOW FROM THIS STATUE
THIS MY FRIENDS IS THE DUKE OF WELLINGTON STATUE IN ROYAL EXCHANGE SQUARE IN GLASGOW AND YES HE HAS A TRAFFIC CONE ON HIS HEAD
NOW LET ME TELL YOU I HAVE LIVED IN GLASGOW FOR 18 AND A HALF YEARS AND NOT ONCE HAVE I SEEN THIS MAN WITHOUT A CONE ON HIS HEAD
IT HAS BEEN REMOVED SO MANY TIMES BY THE COUNCIL BUT SOMEHOW IT ALWAYS SEEMS TO GET BACK UP THERE AND ITS NOT A SMALL STATUE ITS PRETTY FUCKING BIG SO WHOEVER KEEPS ON PUTTING UP THERE IS A DETERMINED WEE FUCKER
IT HAS BECOME A NATIONAL SYMBOL FOR GLASGOW CAUSE ITS JUST THE EPITOME OF GLASWEGIAN HUMOUR AND THEY EVEN PAINTED THE CONE FUCKING GOLD FOR THE OLYMPICS
AND A FEW MONTHS AGO THE COUNCIL SAID THEY WERE GOING TO RAISE UP THE STATUE SO PEOPLE COULDNT PUT THE CONE ON AND LET ME TELL YOU IT WAS FUCKING PANDAEMONIUM ABOUT GLASGOW IT WAS AS IF WORLD WAR THREE HAD BROKEN OUT THERE WERE FACEBOOK PAGES AND PROTESTS AND PETITIONS AND ALL SORTS TO KEEP THE CONE ON
SO LONG AND SHORT OF IT IS THAT THIS STUPID STATUE AND ITS STUPID CONE IS ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT SCOTS IN PARTICULAR GLASWEGIANS CAUSE WE CANT DECIDE WHETHER WE WANT TO RULE OUR OWN COUNTRY OR NOT BUT IF YOU FUCKING DARE TRY TO TAKE THE CONE OFF THE DUKE OF WELLINGTONS HEAD THERE WILL BE A NATION WIDE OUTRAGE AND GLASGOWS OWN VERSION OF LES MIS WILL HAPPEN I AINT FUCKING KIDDIN
I once saw it without the cone on its head. It was very distressing.
Glasgow is a land of proud and noble people
god I am not scottish but they sound like my type of peeps.
every drop of scottish blood in my veins approves of this 100%
The Kingsman agents are the new knights.
PLEASE, PLEASE Reblog if You're a Roleplayer That Believes Mun and Muse are Two Separate People.
(630): who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I am NOT mutual exclusive.
If you want to interact with me but I do not follow you, that is okay. Feel free to put something in my ask box, ask for a starter, anything. I do NOT mind. And if it works out, I’ll follow you back anyway.
The Office sentence meme
❝ I’m going to make this way harder than it needs to be. ❞
❝ Who says exactly what they’re thinking? What kind of game is that? ❞
❝ Speaking of funerals… why don’t you go ahead and die? ❞
❝ You took a life here today. You did. The life of the party. ❞
❝ Please don’t throw garbage at me. ❞
❝ Well, well, well… how the turn tables. ❞
❝ Just Do It. You were the “it” that I was just doing. ❞
❝ Decent people everywhere will get offended. ❞
❝ I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good. ❞
❝ Who am I? I’m [name], the business bitch. ❞
❝ Oh, speaking of time machines… I just got back from the future and I went to your funeral, and guess what? Nobody came. ❞
❝ I never smile if I can help it. ❞
❝ This is a dream I’ve been having since lunch, and I am not giving up on it now. ❞
❝ If you pray enough, you can change yourself into a cat person. ❞
❝ Occasionally, I will hit someone with my car. So sue me. ❞
❝ I really enjoy being judged. ❞
❝ Friends joke with one another. ‘Hey, you’re poor.’ ‘Hey, your momma’s dead.’ That’s what friends do. ❞
❝ I don’t talk trash, I talk smack. They’re totally different. ❞
❝ They’re trying to make me an escape goat. ❞
❝ If I don’t have some cake soon I might die. ❞
❝ Your mom, you gay nerd! ❞
❝ I don’t want to blame anyone in particular… I think everyone’s to blame. ❞
❝ Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it’s not like this compulsive need to be liked. Like my need to be praised. ❞
❝ Is this a video conference you’re having with… “Drake” featuring “Swizz Beatz”? ❞
❝ Should have burned this place down when I had the chance. ❞
❝ Nobody does anything for me anymore unless I threaten to kill myself. ❞
❝ So everyone here knows pirate code? ❞
❝ Your internet searches were so filthy we had to throw out your computer. ❞
❝ I have the worst attitude of anyone here. ❞
❝ And I knew exactly what to do, but in a much more real sense I had no idea what to do. ❞
❝ What is so stupid about wanting to name a baby Usher? ❞
❝ I have a lot of questions. Number one: how dare you?! ❞
❝ You’re always saying there’s something wrong with society, but maybe it’s something wrong with you. ❞
❝ I talk a lot, so I’ve learned to just tune myself out. ❞
post the last song your muse listened to, your muse’s lock screen, and the last selfie they took.