The Glasgow Contingent @scottish-badger - Tumblr Blog

university is also just *rereads email wording for twenty minutes* *pdfs* *waits for bus* *lofi beats* *bounces leg* *forgets student card* *forgets laptop charger* *forgets lab coat* *refreshes email* *tupperware* *prints something* *stares at wall for ten minutes before getting out of bed* *makes tea* *waits for appointment* *daydreams on bus* *climbs stairs* *stares at google calendar* *almost gets hit by bike* *recycles*

spicymemesociety

hjartasalt

I would like to personally apologize to every teacher whose projects I overthought as a kid to the point that I could barely do them

hjartasalt

5th grade teacher: alright class! This week we’re going to be doing something a little different! I want you all to focus on helping others, then you should write down every good deed you’ve done in your notebooks!

10 year old me, absolutely overthinking the shit out of this: but it feels wrong to do good deeds only to gain something in return, isn’t it inherently bad if my reason for helping isn’t just to help but so I can boast about it in a notebook?

Teacher: just… Just do the project please

lmpressionismus

8th grade teacher: alright class, please write a letter from the view of a person experiencing this historical event

14 year old me, staring at my paper: how am i supposed to do that when we only summed up what happened? what are the details someone experiencing this would focus on? what were the opinions of people about that? what words that are long since out of fashion would I use? what was the culture like back then and what references would someone make? If I don’t do it it sounds unrealistic and fake can we please do more research first

8th grade teacher: …just do the exercise please

randaness

hjartasalt

Actually you know what? Stop calling me out like this, I still overthink the shit out of everything I ever do

scottish-badger

my mum had to write a note to my primary 4 teacher when I was 8 asking if I could get more time to “finish my novel” instead of just doing the damn writing exercise.

andrewlloydwebber

the vincent van gogh episode of doctor who but instead the doctor takes ts eliot to the premiere of the cats movie

marvelsmostwanted

straight guy: *only owns cargo shorts, graphic tees, and crocs*

tan: *sighs* in this essay i will

shartpostgenerator

unclefather

this hoe said puppetry

catchymemes

lovedripdrop

Wild

fueledbysatan-deactivated201904

i wanted this to never end

adriankarl

you ever wanna fuck the living shit outta somebody but also cook for them and make sure they’re emotionally stable?

violetwylde

richardsikenpdf-archive-deactiv

a list of s*xy things:

- cellos

- sword fights

- hands

- setting things on fire

- “make me”

- brushing someones hair behind their ear

- hoziers discography

just-shower-thoughts

Peppers are the spicy of the fire, mint is the spicy of the ice, carbonation is the spicy of the air, and vinegar is the spicy of the water.

get-j1nxed

lachesismeg

Ginger is the spicy of the earth.

sarcasminc

…but everything changed when the Pepper Nation attacked.

dankmemeuniversity

fifty-shadesofgay

i just astral projected back to 2009

teainawineglass

Holy shit

tackminyard

harry can’t duel

harry cannot duel

he only uses expelliarmus and he cannot duel

even if he’s dueling the FUCKING DARK LORD

quillsand

Imagine the conversation ministry officials must be having when they see his auror application:

“He’s Harry Potter!”

“I know but that doesn’t change the fact-”

“Harry! Freaking! Potter!”

“We still need him to attend extra duelling lessons-”

“We can’t put Harry Potter in extra duelling lessons!”

“He only ever uses one spell-”

“Yeah, but he’s really good at it.”

coloneltomarry-deactivated20180

I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who had practiced one kick 10,000 times. - Bruce Lee

dragon-in-a-fez

Harry Potter, the boy who dared to ask, “why study all these other spells if I can get really good at yeeting everyone’s wands out of their hands”

jumpingjacktrash

the day a dark wizard encounters the word ‘lanyard’ is the day harry potter dies for real

serjaimelannisters-deactivated2

am i expected to believe the dragon understands the concept of the iron throne deeply enough to hold it and what it represents accountable for driving Daenerys to the point of madness….the dragon gets complex issues of morality is what i’m expected to believe