Things no one tells you about when youāve been mentally ill for years and it wonāt get better
ā everyone will give up on you. Some will say it upfront, some will have indirect ways of showing it (youāre a lucky mf if you still have someone )
ā your symptoms/ breakdowns/ panic attacks are cute for a few months. Everyone wants to help. Later on people find them annoying and inconvenient
ā you will be blamed for not getting better. Doesnāt matter if youāre doing therapy, taking meds, exercising, eating well and sleeping. You can do all of it, some of it or none of it. They will find fault in your efforts.
ā desensitization to your pain. This one isnāt their fault, itās human nature. But it happens and yes it hurts cuz you would wish you were desensitized to your own pain but you have to feel it no matter what. Doesnāt matter if itās the millionth time. It demands to be felt.
ā people move on. But you canāt. You see people cope and get over things while you simply canāt. And itās so much worse if youāve been mentally ill for years. Even the smallest things break you and trigger you.
ā you slowly realize this world isnāt made for mentally ill people in any way
ā youāre tired / fatigued all the time. You have been for years now. You simply exist but you arenāt capable of living anymore. Your illnesses have taken everything that made you feel alive. Youāre nothing but a shell. A body.
