Why Change is Important, even when you uncertain.
Conversations for Transformation; September 2020.
How can I resolve uncertainty during a pandemic, find purpose, and improve the quality of my life?
Why do we need a big event, or disaster to make a change, or before I decide to improve my life. It has been said that people get comfortable in routines (even if circumstances create discomfort), because of the uncertainty change brings. Think about moving house, or starting a new job, the effort involved in the transition can be overwhelming, loaded with great uncertainty. On a bigger scale, a ‘Transitional Movement’ refers to an experience, or process a person or group goes through moving from a position of belief and social standing, personal, sexual, or spiritual orientation, condition of health, mental-state, or wealth, or any particular culture and business disposition to another. Such a movement allows the individual or group to function with greater growth potential, harmony, and passion for life. Power is found in how we purposefully chose the way we relate to anything that happens, instead of trying to control it or force acculturated ideas, e.g. ethnocentric principles of gender, religion, and social standing, unto others. Unfortunately, the majority of people spend most of their lives in a career, or pursuing goals that falls short of inspiration, simply because they are afraid to make the move, or don’t want to make effort to improve things. And yet, every person has a massive potential locked in the combination of their skills, talents and abilities, knowledge and life experiences that once they moved, to shift opened a path of greater significance and purpose in life.
My personal life path radically changed direction the day I started addressing the following question; “Does compliance with my cultural or religious upbringing support an environment where I can be real, live out my dreams, express a profound spirituality, have personal significance, and ultimately … does it inspire happiness, or does it cause greater stress?” Once decided that I needed to change some things, I started paying attention to the signs and signals through the events unfolding in my life. And coincidentally it indicated for a long time that a shift in direction was needed. I was just reluctant to take the step. But once I connected with a Coach and Mentor to guide me, my journey home commenced. So today, I’m going to focus on the ingredients that constitute a winning recipe for transition.
What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail? One reason people resist change is because they focus on what they have to give up instead of what they have to gain.
Moving from what is to what if - Envisioning what can be.
Most people have aspirations for a better life, a dream in the heart for themselves, and a desire for the greater good of humanity. When you were a child, you believed that anything is possible, so why then did you settle for less? What happened? Is it the influence of our schooling system, expectations, and financial fears imposed by family and society, lack of belief, or practical knowledge? Or is it a matter of doubt, and cynicism thrust on you by mass media intimidation that deceived you to believe that happiness is only meant for the elect or elite? And yet, we all enjoy inspirational slogans and stories that encourage. Positively communicating and appreciating all that we as humans collectively and individually achieved in the past and can still accomplish, builds capacity for greater dreams, and hope for the future. But rarely do we create a space in our own lives for the development of the inner qualities that cultivates external skills to support those dreams, and foster trust, faith, and growth. Seeking newness in life and passion for transformation may also run out of steam when we don’t have a support structure in place to facilitate transition, recovery, and personal improvement. After another dose of complaints on Social Media about how bad things are, the shortfalls and lack of services found in society, I just wondered – Isn’t it time that we move past focusing on what is not, and instead re-imagine what can be.
Any temporary satisfaction of the fashionable haves, and comforts of peer acceptance will only outlast the next idea of someone’s video clip going viral, until you are willing to alter the beliefs that support a trend-chasing lifestyle. We know that the constant pressure and strive to acquire the next best thing is only a recipe for exhaustion. Under pressure of the expectation set by an older generation and the peer-acceptance we crave trying to adjust to the new normal people quickly get discouraged, feel a failure, lose faith in the greater good, and stop dreaming about a better future. That is until we start asking the important questions; “Without this striving to fit-in, the craving of the have-to-haves, or superimposed should-be pictures … who am I, what do I really want, and what is the purpose for life”?
There is nothing wrong with desiring only the best for yourself. But without having a clear vision of how you want to create a hopeful positive future, is like throwing a magnet into a whirlpool of the unknown, and gradually over time feeling a nudge of been drawn to a new or particular interest, passion and desire for change. And if you are willing to stay sleeping on the coach hoping for it to happen, that is also a choice. But what else can spark a dream and hope for a better future, without the need for a disastrous event to get us up from the coach? Maybe the testimony of how someone else has endured troubled circumstances, initiated a plan of action by using their own limited resources, and turned adverse conditions around to improve society, will benefit. See it’s not what happens that determines your future, but what you do about what happens. From these and other stories, we learn that hope for the future is fueled through the examples of people taking action.
What if you’re Personal Transformation cause a Transitional Movement?
What is necessary for any person to initiate the first steps of their own growth and improvement of circumstances? It all starts with a commitment to focus on their own inner transition first - a shift in attitude, perception, orientation, and mind-set about their circumstances, and the discipline to pursue the things that will enable them to follow their true calling. It is also the basis for empowered life-decisions, because it encourages the person or group to prioritise the mechanisms that will equip them with knowledge and tools needed to express their goal to pursue purpose and personal significance – instead of waiting for an external world to change by itself. Difficult life situations may just be the catalyst that lead individuals to seek new resources and opportunities, and from seeming catastrophe may come the greatest possibilities and strength ever imagined. When you remain open and willing to flow in the school of life, this movement that is initiated by adverse circumstances, may just be the greatest transition you’ve ever encountered. There is purpose and meaning in any life-event and experience, and sometimes it is the spark we need to be authentic and discover our true purpose in life. Direction determines destination, and sometimes all you need to do is to adjust the direction a small bit to arrive at a new, and better destination.
This is why transformative discussions are so powerful. Transformative Coaching is not meant to give you answers, but disrupt your minds excuses for failure and challenges you to discover the power of your soul. It builds on an appreciation and celebration of what has emerged in your life, even when it is an awareness of temporary shortfall, and it opens up venues for new growth through exploration of different opportunities and possible future outcomes for individuals and groups in transition.
“Appreciation is a wonderful thing; it makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” (Voltaire). You know all of those things you’ve always wanted to do? You should go do them.
Having great ideas alone is not enough, but reflection on the direction and implementation of the vision, is wise. Many entrepreneurs and philanthropists run out of steam when they do not connect with suitable support and accountability structures to mentor their growth. While a good business-plan and strategy on paper may guide the unfolding vision for possibilities - connecting again to the motivation behind the action steps builds resilience and keep individuals motivated through transformation. When darkness, economic hardships and pandemic threat sets in, dreams, ambitions and ideals quickly run out steam. When the inner-fire is depleted, it is imperative to place support structures in place, and a reflective conversation with your spiritual counselor, or Life-Coach may keep you motivated and on track. Through supportive interaction and reflective guidance, not only is understanding gained, but newness emerges, clarity, direction, and determination is generated to take action whether for personal growth, business, or community projects.
From Concept to action steps, and rebuilding your world.
At this point, we may ask what it is that propels change. Yes, I know we don’t like change, and interesting enough the kind of change that is mostly met with resistance is those fueled by our own grumpy discontent about not getting our way, or being unhappy with personal discomfort and shifting routines. Never give up. I know that current social and economic difficulties may cause many to feel lost and disconnected with life. When you feel you have lost your way, there is hope, and your circumstances is helping you find new direction to where you need to be and doing what you needs to do.
Transitions is more about how we are in the world during these challenges and an awareness of the meaning why we occupy this space called Earth, rather than what we do. When we address the inner tension created due to a state of affairs and disharmony, discomfort and short-fall created by irresponsible and self-centered human action, and then out of concern arise with compassion that compels you to do something to heal broken affairs. That is when we know and respond to calling. But how do you find meaning and direction in all this chaos?
Finding your purpose in life, is your roadmap to your destiny. You’ve got the wrong roadmap when you’re in a rut and life starts getting you down. It’s never too late to find your purpose and start living the dreams of your heart, that which embodies meaning to you. Each of us in a special way, is destined to make a difference in this world. When we find courage to believe in yourself, your significance and purpose in life, even when no-body else does – That’s what enables you to take a stand for the things that is important to you. How will you then live the next phase of your life, and what do you need to do to get where you want to be? Are you overwhelmed by your own personal needs awareness and still complaining about why e.g. the government doesn’t change certain conditions? Or have you looked through the window to the world at large and started thinking outside the traditional box of conventional approaches to earn a living? What other possibilities exist? These are important questions you will be asked during transformational discussions, but are essential if you want to find your destiny, rekindle your passion, and step into your power. The purpose if transformative conversations are to build inner resilience, to enable individuals to transition into the next stage of their lives.
Do something today that your future self will thank you for.
Deepening the process is when dreams are structured in a more formal expression, giving flesh to your passions and ideals in the way it is expressed in and through you, and in what you do in the world. It feels very different than the initial state of despair, confusion, and disorientation. For example, some feel they want to express their talents in a way through which they can make a living, and at the same time, e.g. to create jobs for others as well. The deepening process of transformative conversations organize thoughts and giving it structure. You don’t have to be a formal organization to transform your community, or have an impact on society. You don’t need to belong to a specific Religious or Business Groups to implement transformative tools, and any people movement initiative has the potential of generating income that support yours and others well-being. It just ask that you tap into the knowledge resources available and take the initiative to build network (Interfaith and Cross-Culturally), and integrate this resources to build a New Humanity. Connectivity builds the cohesion that evolves in deeper meaning and significance in what we are and do. Conversations that cultivate this capacity are generated not only through Personal Coaching sessions, but can also be encouraged through Transition Groups. It is a way of building a new life beyond the crisis, it is the strengthening of the vision and expansion of ourselves in the way we embody a new consciousness in the world, in and through the enterprises, and work we do ethically and practically as stewards of the earth. Meta-Life Coaching, facilitates many of these kinds of Transition Groups, some focus on Spiritual Development and discusses e.g. the practice of meditation. While others focus on Personal Empowerment and negotiating through life’s challenges, whether it is work related, relationships, or even gender expression, and the social skills needed to thrive. Contact me at [email protected], should you like to be included.
Hope for a better future is not a wish, nor just a desire for things to be different. It is a course of action, combining mind and heart. Your future can be better and can be brighter, and we each have the power within us to make it happen. If this time have not taught us to pay closer attention to our Soul’s yearning, then we still believe that lesson from the past don’t impact your decisions in the future, and neither would you believe that the actions you can take today is vital for a better future. Because if your quest has been fruitless till now and you yearn for significance and meaning, it is because you were looking at the wrong places, asking the wrong questions. It is time! Something needs to happen! Let’s connect! Yes I had gone through lonely nights and have lost it all, Yes I had to start over on many occasion, Yes I followed social rules and expectations and some I have broken to my own detriment, Yes I allowed my logical mind to dominate decisions that will satisfy the approval of family and friends. And in the end …. I felt disconnected and lost, hopelessly distressed and unhappy. I’m here to tell you there is a better way and want to connect to help you discover possibilities, to empower and enable you to have greater resourcefulness in the way you live and express who you are, that will improve what you can offer as service to your community. Transformative Coaching discussions will allow you to determine your own impact on society, by helping you to align your passions and interests with opportunities for growth. For more information or to book a Conversation, go to https://metalifecoaching.co.za/contact-us.php.