Main: bkdk-all-day-err-day

Hi~ I'm blazing, a.k.a. Yuki. Primarily using my side blog bkdk-all-day-err-day nowadays but you'll get the follow back from metallicmay (it's still me though!) pfp by @kiyaedits and header by @minggchoww

[mostlyinthemorning]

I kind of suck at tagging, so I made this infographic to help make it easier.

[adhd-is-real]

How to Cure ADHD Ignorance.

A simple tool for people with ADHD who are often ignored because others assume they’re overreacting, too emotional, or think the world is against them. It uses reverse psychology and challenges those assumptions to shift people from thinking they’re being supportive to actually being supportive. Made by someone with ADHD.

1. Introduction and Contents:

Introduction and Contents

Crucial items to follow and understand for this to work

Why this works

The video order (non-negotiable)

Final Note

This is not a guide for allies. It is not written for the partners, parents, or friends of people with ADHD. It is for people with ADHD who need to know (without explaining, debating, or defending) whether someone in their life, regardless of who they are, is genuinely willing to understand ADHD and what it means to live with it. It forces their "someone" to change from thinking they're being supportive, to actually being supportive, through the method of destabilising their Schema.

This process takes 30 minutes of their time. To watch five videos, in order, with you. That is the only effort it asks of them.

Once you use this guide, you'll be left with one of two outcomes

Either they will show you they are willing to understand what ADHD is and how it affects you.

Or they will show you they are not, and you'll have confirmation that they were never willing to in the first place.

It is not a case of them not understanding. It is a case of them being incapble, through their own will, of believing your lived experiences are reality.

What you choose to do with that truth is up to you.

2. Crucial items to follow and understand for this to work:

You must watch all five videos yourself (in order) before sharing it with the person.

Do not show them this post. Only show the videos. You must watch these videos together.

The videos have been chosen in a specific order for impact. Do not defer from this order. If you open with the "how to help" video, they'll hear: "here's what you're currently doing wrong", which is adversarial and counterproductive. When it's placed last, they'll hear: "now that you understand, here's what you have been doing wrong", which is constructive and traps them into accountability.

After the videos, they may "jump into action" (usually fuelled by their guilt, to "fix" their inaction immediately, attempting to minimise the feeling of that guilt). Do not let them do this under any circumstances. Shut it down immediately, and focus on the next item.

Once all the videos have been watched, ask them: "What was your belief before, what is it now, and what have you learnt?" This will allow them to come to the realisation themselves. Let them sit on it. It's okay to hold the silence.

Give them space when they begin to confront not just that they misunderstood, but that their misunderstanding caused genuine harm to the person they love.¹ Let them eventually come back to you, but do not let them try to move on without discussion. Give them two days maximum of decompression, then gently reintroduce it. ¹ This reaction is similar to what psychology refers to as schema disruption, when someone's mental framework no longer fits reality and emotional dissonance follows. In this case, the shift includes moral discomfort due to real-world impact. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schema_(psychology)

If they are unable or unwilling to see reality after this, they are actively denying your lived experience. Doing this, whilst claiming to support and understand, is completely contradictory. They should understand this without you needing to tell them, and if they forget, remind them. Saying "you've seen the facts from a known authority and the ADHD community, is everyone wrong?" completely dismantles any and all arguments.

3. Why this works:

Through their own idea of supporting you by watching the videos, they are trapping themselves into truly understanding. They're confronting everything they've misunderstood, without realising it until it's too late to retreat.

It holds them completely and utterly accountable for their actions (or inaction).

4. The Video Order (Non-Negotiable)

3:27 | What is ADHD? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMWtGozn5jU

Why it works:

They may already understand most if not all of the content, maintaining their idea of "I already know this".

Gently shifts blame from moral failure to neurobiological wiring.

Allows your person to watch without guilt, and build a neutral "on-ramp" toward the deeper truth.

7:38 | What is ADHD? - Expanded https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhcn1_qsYmg

Why it works:

Gives metaphorical access to how ADHD feels, not just what it does.

Gives language which aligns with real world experiences.

Starts to transfer credibility from "that's just your view" to an external, empathetic and informed authority and majority (Jessica McCabe and her community).

3:38 | Executive Function https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4YIHrEu-TU

Why it works:

Your person may have interpreted your delays or resistance as "refusal". This reframes them into neurological hurdles.

Rationalises the very behaviours they may have mocked or missed (task avoidance, forgetting, impulsivity).

Paves the way for empathy by showing it isn't selective behaviour, but brain function.

5:24 | ADHD Masking https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jk-FtgGV8I8

Why it works:

Ever heard "you didn't seem like you were struggling before"? This video reveals the cost of "looking fine."

You can use this to connect real-life examples. Particularly workplace masking, emotional shutdown, and why you don't always "just get on with it".

Challenges their denial gently but firmly. "They weren't faking ADHD, they were faking wellness."

7:08 | How to Help https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LcZuL1jQJuM

Why it works:

If this was ended at the masking video, your person may have felt despair or guilt. This gives your person a way back into agency.

Reframes support from "constant labour" to "informed support".

Restores your person's idea that you're a team, not a caregiver/patient dynamic.

5. Final Note

This post does not explain ADHD, but reveals if someone is willing to understand it. It is not about persuading someone, it is about providing the evidence.

You are not asking if they agree with the facts. You are observing whether they are capable of seeing what is already real.

After 30 minutes, you will have the answer. Nothing more is required.

Be ready for them to support you. Even if it’s a surprise to them, it’s also easy for you to stay stuck in the idea that they’ll never understand. That belief can block progress too. If this process helps shift them even a little, that’s a win. Keep going. You’re heading the right way.

[cloverr-overr]

day 19 of herotober :33 i love these silly losers

[hanodefanart]

Bkdk - punk/prep au (Part 17) 🥰🧡💚

[hanatatami]

There's a couple's discount in a pastry shop and Saiki cannot miss his chance

Toritsuka is really happy he gets to hold hands with a pretty girl (and Saiki at the same time!?)

Purikuras as a souvenir...

Payback ( ˘ ³˘)❤

[noodles-and-tea]

It’s just nerves….

[olives-and-lilies]

Y’all getting fed today~!

The Kacchako Spicy Mochi Big Bang dropped and I got paired with the amazing Spooks for her Hanahaki piece “Lilac”

As always, open for the best quality.

[chiekorita]

✨ chiekorita's palletshipping recs ✨

my will always re-read list. not a comprehensive list so i will add on as i go thru the fics again.

ratings listed in front of title. (c) means completed.

the unfinished collection by misswonnykins (ratings varied w each chapter)

as title says, unfinished but they're all *chefs kiss*. fav is the first chapter. ash wooing gary unknowingly pls read

[t] a pokemon trainer's guide to romance using modern technology and terrible pick-up lines by bgtea (c)

ash and gary being menaces w each other thru terrible pick up lines even in diff regions. the puns are amazing ok and v funny and cute.

[t] after all these years by archwriter (c)

the story of how they break and keeps on breaking until they come back together. the emotional rollercoaster this got me thruuuu like destroy me. can be read platonic.

[g] tying loose ends by archwriter

sequel to after all these years. ash's role as the chosen one coming back one by one and his recovering relationship with gary on the side. the way everything in his life is written and having gary mixed in naturally like that. i still reread this since years ago.

[t] my brilliant friend by afoolserrand117

gary a professor and researcher being made to do a friendly battle w ash to raise funds for his research. more gary focused esp w his mewtwo related ptsd (which i don't see much explored so it was niceeee). we get to see a more confident ash as opposed to gary. pls this is so good and cute and fun.

[m] a call to arms by feranelia

pacrim!au. the pokemons are jaegers. ash and gary butting heads thru their first, second, third consequent meetings and ended up being drift compatible. prof oak best shipper btw. arts for this also chefs kiss

[t] and into love go streaming by laniekayaleese (c)

high school!au. more on the coming of age movie feeling. boys discovering feelings. this is very vibes.

[m] find it, fix it by tayeah (c)

gary in saida labs getting a visit from ash. gary running from his feelings only to run back into them basically? angstyyyy and delicious.

[t] romantic by misswonnykins (c)

ash trying to pull off the best proposal ever with the help of his friends. super cute and fluffy.

[t] this dear thing called heart by salvations (c)

music!au. shigeru joins a satoshi's band after prof ookido's death. angsty stuff. mostly friendship focused but a good dose of palletshipping thru out.

[g] the sweetest betrayal by essence_of_silence (c)

little moments of ash's two fav partners being bff with each other more than with him. super cute. very sitcom/romcom vibes. i come back to reread this a lot bc of pikachu picking his pipichu over his pikapi.

[g] honesty by silver_fish (c)

hanahaki!au. gary starts coughing up flowers. more often when he's around a certain trainer. everything i ever wanted in a palletshipping hanahakiiiii my fav tropeeee read this one too pls

[t] [series] operations 101 by estelle4ever

ash's friends trying to set him up gary and made up a whole operation. operationS. funny shenanigans of well meaning friends and just cute stuff. it's a series but the main part of them getting together is done ✅.

[m] intuition by evie warner

prof oak's past coming back for him and gary's the target. ash caught up in it too. going off from the glitch in the games w missingno. this one is abandoned but it's still So Good. got me reading thru this in one sitting.

[oakgreenoak]

Something I've always found kinda interesting about Red and Green in gameverse is how they turn some of the Stock Shōnen Protagonist/Rival tropes on their heads.

This is really long character analysis of these two and various media counterparts of theirs, so I'm gonna stick it under a cut.

In some ways they fit their roles quite well - aside from the obvious colour associations, you have Red as the hero whose sense of justice is stronger than his sense of self-preservation, and you have Green as the privileged rival who cares about beating Red above all else.

But, if you look at it another way - Green's got the light spiky hair, the hot-headed and boisterous personality, the drive to Get Better And Win. He's designed to read as really open and chipper, yet snarky. Sure, he isn't dumb, but he's arrogant, and he's got something of a one-track mind; the guy finds himself in the middle of a hostage situation because he's just that hellbent on fighting his rival, and does not seem to be thinking about anything else. He's also got a motivation - given how the Professor talks to him in the championship room and supplementary material like his Generations appearance, it's not a stretch to think the reason he's so driven to Get Better And Win is to prove himself to his grandfather. It's shown in later games and supplementary works that he's become somewhat of a mentor as he got older and wiser.

Red, on the other hand, is a quiet loner whose only motivation seems to be to get stronger for the sake of getting stronger. He's level-headed and dark haired, his cap rounding off his edges and obscuring his face. He's heroic, but not really sociable, as evidenced by the fact he spends the Johto games alone on a mountain without having told anyone where he went. He seems isolated in a way that later games' protagonists really don't. He may have always been a step behind Green, but he's always better.

Equally fascinating to me is how other adaptations have changed the base designs around and rewritten personalities to suit different purposes, while still being visually recognisable as counterparts to their game-selves.

For example: Red and Green's counterparts in Special slot WAY more neatly into their stock shōnen roles, with Red as the boisterous hero and Green as the broody rival, and it's reflected in their new designs.

Red's hair becomes spiky to reflect his more excitable nature. His hat, in turn, never obscures his face; it's always either tilted back to accommodate his fringe or turned backwards. Green's hair, on the other hand, is not quite as spiked upwards and instead falls into his face, frequently obscuring his far eye in the same way game!Red's hat does.

And then, of course, the anime balanced them in a totally different direction.

Instead of scrapping Green's personality wholecloth, it's become exaggerated in Gary. He's not the broody antihero rival, he's the arrogant, privileged, better-than-you rival. He's always ten steps ahead of Ash, always pisses him off, and is ALWAYS better until the end of his run. The anime also emphasises his intelligence far more, with him doing things like rattling off dex info and the speed of light in mph off the top of his head, to further contrast him with Ash.

Ash, who is of course THE shōnen protagonist. He's dumb, but determined, and always ready to help people in need. Unlike game!Red, the power of friendship (with more than just pokémon) is central to him; any given season of the show is defined as much if not moreso by his travelling companions and interpersonal relationships as it is by whatever he's actually doing.

It's funny to me, though, how most adaptations seem to find the fact that gameverse Red and Green have swapped some stock roles as something to fix. Even Origins, which is probably the closest a high-profile adaption has come to game-accurate, made its version of Red louder and more standard-hero-esque.

I'm not knocking any of these things, of course, just observing. I adore both Special and anipoke. I just think that the way the game characters are written could lead to some interesting dynamics were it to be explored more.

[novaneondream]

@candle-scm you did this to me

[jv]

What is this about the tumblr staff wanting to sell art data to midjourney?

An ex-colleague of mine mentioned yesterday that there may be contacts between Automattic and midjourney in that direction, but nothing is public yet and I don't have any more info. They probably won't have anything specific to share either, since they left the company weeks ago too. That being said:

I have no reason to doubt my ex-coworker word, they are a trustworthy person.

Tumblr's CEO has been absurdly enthusiastic (comically, even) about AI, and is a big fan of LLMs and 'AI' companies.

A deal with midjourney could solve tumblr financial issues (not the same company, but openAi is paying up to 5 million/year to news companies to use their content as training data... tumblr generates several orders of magnitude more content than any newspaper or any media company and it only would need a 20 to 30 million per year deal to be profitable)

So I don't have any extra info yet, but I'm keeping my ears open.

[jv]

And I just got confirmation from a second ex-colleague that a deal with midjourney has been brewing since months ago. Not any extra details, just that's a real thing.

Shit, I don't see any way for this to happen that doesn't make it an apocalyptic event the size of the porn ban. Fuck.

[jv]

Shit. This may be pure chance and coincidence, and it's not he is in a position to be able to talk about anything, but seeing prominent staff members announcing they are moving their original photography out of tumblr just two weeks ago seems a pretty significant cue of shit to be about to hit the fan.

[salora-rainriver]

Just tested. It’s possible to swap out pictures on already-published posts. So in that case, a solution:

Nightshade your photo posts now.

Even if you don’t post your own art anymore, go back to your old stuff and watermark it.

Do it ASAP, before the deal goes through and the scraping begins.

This will not only protect your art, but has the opportunity to fuck over this deal on a pretty large scale. The more of these posts that are glazed or poisoned, the less valuable this deal becomes for tumblr and midjourney.

Share this with everyone. And i do mean everyone.

[haunted-xander]

Every komahina artist is obligated to draw something about this scene at least once i think

[matchingvnecks]

[teachingwithcoffee]

It’s time to bring an end to the Rape Anthem Masquerading As Christmas Carol

[bigbutterandeggman-deactivated2]

Hi there! Former English nerd/teacher here. Also a big fan of jazz of the 30s and 40s. 

So. Here’s the thing. Given a cursory glance and applying today’s worldview to the song, yes, you’re right, it absolutely *sounds* like a rape anthem. 

BUT! Let’s look closer! 

“Hey what’s in this drink” was a stock joke at the time, and the punchline was invariably that there’s actually pretty much nothing in the drink, not even a significant amount of alcohol.

See, this woman is staying late, unchaperoned, at a dude’s house. In the 1940’s, that’s the kind of thing Good Girls aren’t supposed to do — and she wants people to think she’s a good girl. The woman in the song says outright, multiple times, that what other people will think of her staying is what she’s really concerned about: “the neighbors might think,” “my maiden aunt’s mind is vicious,” “there’s bound to be talk tomorrow.” But she’s having a really good time, and she wants to stay, and so she is excusing her uncharacteristically bold behavior (either to the guy or to herself) by blaming it on the drink — unaware that the drink is actually really weak, maybe not even alcoholic at all. That’s the joke. That is the standard joke that’s going on when a woman in media from the early-to-mid 20th century says “hey, what’s in this drink?” It is not a joke about how she’s drunk and about to be raped. It’s a joke about how she’s perfectly sober and about to have awesome consensual sex and use the drink for plausible deniability because she’s living in a society where women aren’t supposed to have sexual agency.

Basically, the song only makes sense in the context of a society in which women are expected to reject men’s advances whether they actually want to or not, and therefore it’s normal and expected for a lady’s gentleman companion to pressure her despite her protests, because he knows she would have to say that whether or not she meant it, and if she really wants to stay she won’t be able to justify doing so unless he offers her an excuse other than “I’m staying because I want to.” (That’s the main theme of the man’s lines in the song, suggesting excuses she can use when people ask later why she spent the night at his house: it was so cold out, there were no cabs available, he simply insisted because he was concerned about my safety in such awful weather, it was perfectly innocent and definitely not about sex at all!) In this particular case, he’s pretty clearly right, because the woman has a voice, and she’s using it to give all the culturally-understood signals that she actually does want to stay but can’t say so. She states explicitly that she’s resisting because she’s supposed to, not because she wants to: “I ought to say no no no…” She states explicitly that she’s just putting up a token resistance so she’ll be able to claim later that she did what’s expected of a decent woman in this situation: “at least I’m gonna say that I tried.” And at the end of the song they’re singing together, in harmony, because they’re both on the same page and they have been all along.

So it’s not actually a song about rape - in fact it’s a song about a woman finding a way to exercise sexual agency in a patriarchal society designed to stop her from doing so. But it’s also, at the same time, one of the best illustrations of rape culture that pop culture has ever produced. It’s a song about a society where women aren’t allowed to say yes…which happens to mean it’s also a society where women don’t have a clear and unambiguous way to say no.

[aphnxrising]

[xtrapockets-deactivated20171024]

remember loves: context is everything. and personal opinion matters. If you still find this song to be a problem, that’s fine. But please don’t make it into something it’s not because it’s been stripped of cultural context.

[vorked]

This is actually really interesting. I’ve never known a lot of the background to this song.

[pixiemage]

Please, for the love of god, please don’t be this person. No matter how long it’s been since an update, no matter how many unfinished stories are sitting on their account, no matter what - do not be this person.

Not only is it insanely rude, but you also do more damage than you think be being such a self-entitled ass about something someone created for free and for fun. “This author” can see what you say.

RIP decency indeed.

[mondengel-deactivated20231111]

I was literally about to post a chapter once and got a snide comment similar to this - not addressing other readers, just me - and decided to keep the rest of the story to myself. It's still there. I could post it anytime. But I'm not going to.

I also got a glowing compliment on a fic and went into a flurry of writing, suddenly inspired, then by happenstance got a nasty, impatient comment on that same fic a few days and moved onto writing a different fic that didn't have that associated annoyance.

Like. I am writing for fun. For me. I reread and enjoy my fics all the time because they're exactly the story I want to read. I get the same enjoyment out of a fic wither or not anyone else ever sees it or knows it exists.

I'm sharing it for fun too.

I'm not going to share if sharing isn't fun.

[pixiemage]

I’m not going to share if sharing isn’t fun.

[vmures]

I once got a comment on a fic that just read RIP with my username. It's really fucking demotivating. Maybe the work will end up abandoned, maybe it won't, but don't fucking leave this sort of shit on a fic. It's more likely to prevent any future updates than encourage them. Authors are not vending machines. You can not shake us and force the story out (believe us, many of us have tried doing this to ourselves because we want to finish the story but sometimes life and other shit gets in the way).

[sebbyisland]

(Desc in id)

[metallicmay]

250 posts!

[regularguydude-deactivated20230]

Shout outs to my mutuals

[z-mizcellaneous-z]

@macksmilesback @wintosavesavetowin @slug-cube @bkdk-all-day-err-day @meteormind @samisnotlegend @legendzjagz @zaiban2989 @epickiya722 @candleshopmenace @quin-the-fool @bakugou-klancey-lance @kahtherinee @geckothegremlin ILY ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL