Sometimes I rly feel like the wod Fandom needs to remember that while the wod is dark, it's also goofy as fuck and it's ok to laugh at it and point out how ridiculous something is.
Wizards killed an old vampire with space lasers. There is an evil company which puts demons into burgers. During the war in Atlanta someone replaced the round business table where the lasombras were arguing with a reflective square table which increased the body count during the meeting.
It's ok to laugh. We don't need to be defensive of our fav game.
things that actually happened in world of darkness:
a genderfucked tzimisce threw their dick at the head of clan ventrue during a medieval debate, founding the sabbat in the process
harry houdini was a vampire
and al capone
helen of troy is also a vampire. she runs a nightclub in chicago
louis pasteur, the milk guy, created a cure for vampirism
ancient interstellar dinosaur empire
a corporation ruled by an ancient primordial dragon produces cosmetics that turn you into a succubus
the old vampire who was killed by wizards might have used chimerstry 10 in order to convince the world that not only had he been killed, but he never existed at all
clan brujah led the soviet union until baba yaga, an ancient nosferatu, killed them all
there's a vampire clan of italian necromancers who want to eat god
dracula is real and there's a four part adventure path about helping him gaslight the tzimisce into embracing him. there's demons involved
the anarchs caused the 2008 financial crisis in order to weaken the camarilla
the head of clan tremere got turned into a giant worm. he jumped into the body of his former disciple (and ex), who got trapped in a mirror
then he got blown up in a drone strike
there's a vampire cult hiding in the underworld who believe that vicissitude is an alien parasite & that caine/lilith were t4t
an ancient egyptian vampire catfished the ventrue justicar
a wizard named CZAR VARGO tried to conquer the world with a fleet of airships. he declares himself the Czar of Terra before michael faraday sacrifices himself to stop him. steampunk wizards venerate him as a saint
bela lugosi became a malkavian and convinced himself that he wasn't the real lugosi, just an impersonator
wizards dropped a ghost nuke on the underworld because they needed to cancel the Wraith gameline
the ghost nuke accidentally created a crack in reality that caused demons to break loose from hell, because they needed to create a justification for their new demon gameline
name literally any organization and they probably tried to tie it into a vampire conspiracy or a pentex subsidiary honestly. yeah, even that one
they made a mage/vampire/werewolf hybrid called Samuel Haight to be a recurring antagonist for every splat who is literally poochie and they desperately tried to course correct and pretend he was a joke all along because nobody thought he was as cool as the devs. he haunts an ashtray now
for some reason every single book published between 1992-1996 had a vampire viking who became a biker gang leader in it regardless of setting or location
vampires tried to nuke new york and beijing in order to start world war 3
the moon landing caused a crack in reality that allowed fairies to escape from arcadia
cyberspace exists and mages built a bar there (with help from alan turing, who was a mage). malkavians can get in through unknown means and are noted to make their avatars look like dracula and run around trolling people
when the line was falling apart they commissioned a then-prominent horror author to write an erotic novel featuring the signature characters to try and bolster sales. it has. uh. interesting illustrations of the afforementioned genderfucked tzimisce (also tw for literally everything. don't actually go and try to read that book. it's bad)
the devs got so mad at people playing sabbat tremere in their LARPs that they just wrote it into the plot that every sabbat tremere's head exploded all at once and if your players wanted to keep playing a sabbat tremere you should tell them they can't
evil wizards covered up the existence of at least two planets in the solar system in order to cosmologically weaken either the werewolves or the mages. we're not sure
also one of the lead guys behind mage is a literal wizard who views the book as a sigil for actual chaos magic capable of shaping reality, which is why he won't give players rules to play as the REALLY evil wizards. he changed his legal name to satyros
Would like to tack on the following
The regent of the Sabbat is a drag queen performing an unending routine as a different vampire to avoid the world's weirdest murder trail.
Bela Lugosi not only convinced himself he wasn't Lugosi but also convinced himself he was actually Dracula.
Pentex created cockroach lycanthropes but they caught the attention of the totem Cockroach who then officially declared his werewolves should be bros with the wereroaches.
They also made monkey lycanthropes who for some reason were put in charge of business matters. They spent an ungodly amount of time and money on literal monkey business.
There's a nosferatu moonlighting as "El Diablo Verde," a professional wrestler who pulls off insane superhuman feats in the ring and this isn't a masquerade violation because "everyone knows wrestling is fake."
Queen Victoria and Prince Albert were patrons of the Technocratic Union because she's the steampunk queen.
Sejanus, a roman soldier and close friend of Emperor Tiberius, was a vampire and pretended to be a ventrue for so long and so convincingly he became prince of Washington D.C. A roman soldier older than Christ by 46 years became the regional ruler of D.C. because he is really good at lying.
Speaking of D.C., according to the erotica novel some vampires fuck on the top of the Washington Monument.
Dracula sold the rights to his life story to Bram Stoker so he would break the masquerade for the lolz
The Sabbat LARP D&D in the sewers with dominated humans who are convinced they are actually fantasy monsters
A malkavian once learned to survive off eating words rather than blood and even ate his own entry in the Clanbook.
Changlings in Boston host a riddle contest every 4th of July.
They also have a vampire who thinks he's a fairy.
There are mage apes.
Also mage aliens.
A bishop was such a fan of The Shining he often flashcrafted himself to look like Jack Nicholson and LARP scenes to himself.
The Possessed sourcebook has a cow that cannot be killed by any means.
There's also a goat that can eat anything and has appeared throughout time.
There was a futuristic city of sentient dinosaurs that the Mokele have genetic memories of. You can run a canon friendly Cyberpunk x WoD game so long as every character is a dinosaur.
Isaac Newton was killed in a drive by shooting during Prohibition.
Cain is an LA cab driver, Lucifer is a washed up director, Charon was isekaied into modern day as a nobody, due to the apocalypse being retconned these guys are all still living boring lives somewhere in California.
Every single supernatural wants to say they have Rasputin.
A lady embraced 15 snakes. There are 15 vampire snakes in the world, 15!
This is from Chronicles but its worth a mention, the Whipping Boys legacy is a group of wizards who channel their magic through BDSM.
I love this setting so much and its wackiness is a huge reason why.
