Metriculitis

[andysaas]

Hudson’s eye acting is insane

[metricula]

Human golden retriever

[ilyas-left-nut]

every time i think about jacob almost cutting this because it was too tender i literally want to go play in traffic. 

[sisituation]

russian petnames for shane

so ilya likes to mess with shane calling him some random russian petnames, right? no one asked but i have opinions and also work to do but unrelated

first, the long game ones:

moya gazonokosilka (lawn mower) - cursed, pretend it never happened. too random, doesn't sound fun or cute in russian, can't imagine russians saying that to their lovers

moy pomidor (tomato) - actually very cute, love it. shane blushes a lot (ilya is not capable of that for geopolitical reasons) so moy pomidor works perfectly. moy pomidorchik (diminutive) would be even cuter

moy lyubimiy (my love) - works good but skip moy, just lyubimiy

now some of my ideas. not suggesting that ilya would call shane that but i would:

shanezhka (spelling?) (diminutive for a шаньга - fluffy sweet cottage cheese bun) - sounds very close to shane's name and also has this tender suffix at the end that is just perfect for russian ears. why it's perfect? because this nezh (неж) thing at the end is the same as in the word tenderness/genleness (нежность), like hello? also shane is a sweet bun, has sweet buns and needs sweet buns (fuck you, microbiotic diet)

gagarochka (diminutive for a loon) - sounds fun and cute in russian

dushnila (stuffy person i guess?) - just a very natural and quite endearing way to call your boring husband when he is schooling you about that damn one (1) cigarette again

also dushnila sounds very close to dusha (soul), and calling your loved ones moya dusha (my soulmate?) is some deep russian shit. i can totally see ilya messing with shane switching between moy dushnila and moya dusha to check how his russian lessons are going, bonjour

ulitka or ulitochka (snail) - just how we call slow people, and shane is famously a very slow skater. also sounds cute and tender in russian

cursed but zhopa, zhopka (ass) - no jokes, very common petname. playful, fun, rolls off the tongue and has that you are an asshole love you so much undertone

that's it for now, might update later

[that-vexaholic-cryptid]

[heartseeker]

i think about “ham and bean” on the daily

[heartseeker]

i think about “ham and bean” on the daily

[dogpuppy]

[googledocsdyke]

remember when you were 10 and you would hang out with your friends in order to Look At The Computer together like you went to their house and experienced the information superhighway together. and then leave

[mostlybats-partiallyrats]

How fucking old are you people?

[googledocsdyke]

normal amount

[metricula]

It was literally like this

[cognitohazardous]

dogs love using their horizontal nature to stand in front of you

[skakerman]

Living through this AI craze is like if everyone in the world suddenly started talking about pool socks (which are socks you can wear in the pool).

At first it was just Speedo and Nike making highly specialized pairs for athletes but now everyone is in on it. They're prominently featured on the end caps of grocery stores. All of the newest cars offer a $12.99 a month subscription where you can get access to a special compartment in the trunk to store and dry your pool socks.

The media covers the manufacturing and economic impact of them breathlessly. CEOs of pool sock companies are overnight billionaire celebrities and being asked how pool socks will extend the longevity of the human species.

And people you've known for decades, seemingly stable, normal people, won't shut up about pool socks. They have favorite pairs they wear based on the weather, season, and chlorine level of the pool. One friend even talks up his $300 annual subscription where he gets special high performance pool socks.

Social media feeds are absolutely filled with photos of pool socks. Children are being taught to swim only in pool socks, it's so engrained in them that if they take them off underwater they flounder and gasp for air.

I still can't figure out what they're for or why you'd want them but I've given it a shot. I tried swimming in a pair and it just felt uncomfortable and unnecessary. I've been told with dedicated training and if I change how I fundamentally think about swimming I could go slightly faster than I could without pool socks but it'll be harder to go back to swimming without them.

And my boss is telling me that if I want to advance in my career I need to wear them 8 hours a day and find ways to use them in other places of my life: the bathroom, the kitchen, the garden. No one will want to hire me if I don't know how to use pool socks to their fullest.

[eschergirls]

pip-says-hi submitted:

"The absolutely insane thing about that Leia pic is that they clearly took a fairly normal picture and just... cut a scoop out of her back. I did this in like 30 seconds in Paint so it looks terrible but you can see that it looks like a perfectly normal (and still perfectly sexy!) pic when you put that scooped-out part back."

Good edit, it really shows just how bizarre her taffy torso looks in the original. And yeah she looks perfectly fine and sexy in your edit. It really is like they just drew her and then was like "nope too fat" and then cut a chunk out of her back. D:

(Edit and original Card Art of "Leia and Han" from set: Star Wars: Galaxy Series 5 (2010), Star Wars: Card Trader, Topps Digital

[salembehindbars]

The knowledge that the first ‘Wincest’ fanfic was written and published mere HOURS after the release of the pilot episode literally haunts me.

[sword-wielding-sapphic]

first rule of fandom is everything goes back to destiel second rule of fandom is everything goes back to kirk/spock third rule of fandom is everything goes back to holmes & watson fourth rule of fandom is everything goes back to achilles & patroclus

[averyoddfishindeed]

I finally got to see this moment. And I just gotta say...

Dude wtf.

[metricula]

WTF? More like DTF

[victusinveritas]

Reminder: the companies and political entities pushing Project 2025 have addresses and go out to lunch a lot and should never eat a spitless meal for the rest of their lives.

Practice bagpipes outside their secure compounds.

Follow them around ringing a bell wherever they go.

If they are going to be farcically evil, be Animaniacally good. Be the definition of chaotic justice.

Also, vote. It might just kick the ball down the road a bit, but that gives people more time to organize a concerted resistance (in no way on any social media platform) to the fascist creep happening in America. It is possible to take this country from the bastards who control it, it will take work, effort, and occasionally going offline and talking to humans though.

[searinart]

Lucy Heartfilia redesign, it's that time of the year when my fairy tail fixation comes back

[knightsickness]

there’s absolutely something to be said about ‘booktok’ books being largely wattpad quality written erotica i’m certainly not reading them however having seen a guy on tiktok make a video like ‘all the women in your life are READING PORN’ about a book he picked up and read in his FEMALE FRIEND’S HOUSE in a tone of scandalised horror and disgust i actually don’t think men should be making those criticisms. he said he picked it up expecting a romance and was horrified it was GOONER SHIT he said specifically like ‘who are you getting your pussy wet FOR??’ in a tone of revulsion. idk man im not sure shes the weird one. i kind of wish you were dead

[darlingofdots]

"a lot of books that are successful on booktok are not very good" and "people can read what they want and we need to stop being so fucking weird about women enjoying erotica" are both correct statements