Fifth Post: Recalling Childhood
Transgender adults were asked about their upbringing and experiences in schools and with their families. Growing up as a gender variant child comes with many different challenges. Some children have a harder time than others depending on how supportive their family, friends, and peers are. Without support from their family it is more difficult to feel confident at school.
One transgender adult shared how they found an image in a catalogue that they really enjoyed. They wanted to be able to achieve the same look, so they showed the image to their mom. She told them no, for the sheer fact that they were born a boy and the attire in the picture was for girls. They suppressed the idea and tried their best to not let anyone else know how they truly felt. Holding these feelings in is hurtful to the self. Fearing criticism from others and never feeling like you can be yourself can lower self-esteem.
Children who are not supported and encouraged to be who they are by their family most likely will not try to be themselves in school. Since children only understand the basics of the binary they can be left feeling confused as to why what they feel is considered “wrong” by their families and peers. One person noted that they knew to hide how they felt in school but somehow the children “just knew” they were different. Despite trying to fit in this individual was targeted and shunned by their peers.
Children who fake it only to attempt to fit in with their peers at school (even if they manage to be convincing to their peers) suffer. Another individual stated how they felt depressed, anxious about school, alienated, and desperate to be understood (Clemson, Diamond, Riley, & Sitharthan 2012). All of this takes away from the growing experiences that other children get to go through. These things aren’t things that young children should be so concerned with or subjected to.
Riley, E. A., Clemson, L., Sitharthan, G., & Diamond, M. (2013). Surviving a Gender-Variant Childhood: The Views of Transgender Adults on the Needs of Gender-Variant Children and Their Parents. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 39.
http://www.hawaii.edu/PCSS/biblio/articles/2010to2014/2012-surviving-gender-variant-childhood.html
I really liked this post because it touches on the interaction with peers. Children learn about binaries from the communities around them. This puts them in a position where they feel that they have concrete definitions of gender and can police others into fitting these definitions. A lot of shame can and does come from our interactions with peers and therefore children’s interactions are a very important aspect to look at.











