#gender constructs

[perrysoup]

[voidoffline]

Your gender is whatever you want forever. It is to you what it is. Clothes mean whatever gender on you that you want them to mean, or if they hold no gender at all to you then they hold no gender. Makeup is whatever gender you want it to be, or none at all. All of gender as a construct is based on just simple opinions, so it can be whatever you want it to be.

This is the same for every person in the world. If you are a cis man, and to you makeup holds no gender, and pink is masculine to you, and you like fishing and sports as both something masculine and not at the same time. Good! Good for you man.

At the same time, a woman may like all of those same things, but see them all as feminine instead. That’s also good! Good for her

My point is, it’s good to understand that while one thing could be masculine to you, it may be feminine to another. And you have to learn to understand that a dress may be feminine on you (in a way you see as positive) but if your bestie, let’s say in this example, who’s a trans man who sees things on them as masculine, puts it on? It’s changed. The ‘gender’ of the dress has changed, because the person wearing it is different.

I write this post with no tone in mind. This isn’t a post yelling at people to try and understand, or pleading, just a statement. Some days I feel more strongly about this topic, I’ll see some post and sigh and feel frustrated that someone can’t understand that gender is in the eye of the beholder just as much as beauty is. But right now I’m not feeling too strongly on this. I just wanted kinda get my thoughts out you know? Like having a shower thought and rambling to a friend about it afterwards. In casual conversation shared either side by side on a couch, or online both sitting comfy at a desk with a computer or laptop open

I don’t believe that this is one of those things that every single person is made to believe because of their environment, because it really is in a way like beauty. And despite how many people grow up with beauty standards in their mind like a thorn, and have to slowly pull it out while fixing the parts of themselves that were pricked so they can stop hurting themselves and others through bad beauty standards - other people will always be born not understanding or liking beauty standards from the get-go. However uncommon it is that someone doesn’t get poked in the mind by those standards

I’m agender so it’s always been pretty easy for me to understand this; that gender is just what you make it. Of course when I was like, a toddler, I had no sense of this. Or at least a much looser sense - knowing some things were for girls, others for boys, but that it was okay to like something for the opposite gender. So, nowhere near as deep as I know things to be now, but that’s just kinda how it is being a toddler lmao. Y’know? We never think much about things when we’re that young. Often times we may have a subconscious understanding but we don’t realize or think about it at that age

There’s not too much point to the post now besides me rambling so I’ll probably stop it here. There’s a low chance a lot of people will actually read this since it’s a long post, but if you have, hi there :] nice ta’ read ya’. I mean meet ya’

[idkeither223]

As an autistic individual; once you debunk and deconstruct the notions of gender to little smoking smithereens, and are generally nonchalant that it’s all a pile of poo, then eventually you have to accept that’s not the weird allistic cis allo heteronormative world we live in. So you happily settle for identifying as nonbinary as that’s the best fit, notions of boy and girl are alien to you. “How is gender meant to even feel?” you cry into the echoing cavern, no response. Little creeping mind demons whisper to you that you’re wrong and just a cis autistic overthinker. But you’ve come so far in societal revelations that that is unacceptable. Not true. Still, the tiny demons find you. Who cares, at the end of the day. When a student a century away reads your non existent diary, their opinion is only for their essay. More important is the loud bubble of emotion, swirling inside you as wrong pronouns cause internal commotion. People you love but don’t have the courage to correct. Forever feeling socially inept. Embrace their hugs but listen deep to your moment’s soul. How you approach, perceive, and process yourself, it really is only your call.

[capricorn-0mnikorn]

[whysojiminimnida]

Hi, it’s me again, it honestly feels like I’m stalking you :(, but your anons bring up really good points in conversation, and I wanted to provide some perspective on the use of the word queer and bi-gender.

I think what’s important to consider during this discussion is the reclaiming of words, queer can be pejorative depending on the context, and it causes a bevy of unpleasant emotions when used in a derogatory way. Queer in the past used to represent abnormality, it was a means to justify the mistreatment and unfairness that we received just because we identified a certain way, or because of the people we choose to love, as if we were unworthy of that because of our identification.

The use reclamation of the word queer is not necessarily a new, it actually dates back to the stonewall riots where the saying “we’re here, we’re queer, get used to it” was formed, as a way to tell people that they could no longer marginalize us, it was a very big F you to people. And while the history of queer is not only complicated and can bring painful memories and validated hurt, queer now is used as an inclusive term for the wide range of spectrum of identities that live within the LGBTQIA+ community. Instead of having to label yourself in various different identities, queer now gives us a chance to be whomever we want to be without having to label ourselves, it’s an umbrella term. QUEER also happens to be gender neutral, it allows us to also acknowledge identities left out in “LGBT”, (this was before we became more accepting and welcoming of other identities) & most importantly, it allows us to include members of the community from cultures that express non-heterosexual, non-cisgender identities with different words and customs. (Taken from an article)

Having discussion of how people identity is uncomfortable but it is important to have these conversations so that we may grow, learn, and progress, so that we can create safe spaces for people within our community. Which is why I want to mention my own experience, because I can’t talk about anyone else’s, I only know my own, but I hope it helps in providing a perspective. My labels of identification are Bisexual, Non-binary & my pronouns are they/them, but I go by Queer. I have always felt like I was forced to identify to how I presented, my personality is very different and I was often told that I didn’t act how I looked “the inner and outer isn’t matching, Arabella”. I tried to explore both genders to see which one I felt more comfortable in, and neither felt right to me, I drove myself into alienation because I felt like I couldn’t find my place in the world and thus, how could I relate to the other people in my community if I didn’t know who I was. It wasn’t until I came up on the word Winkte of the Lakota people, of two individual spirits that co-existed within a person. You didn’t have to choose to be one or the other, you also didn’t have to lessen one to make the other bigger, they just lived in perfect harmony. As I started exploring more of what that meant I realized that that represented me, I felt like I finally knew who I was, and I didn’t need to choose one or the other, I could just be me regardless of my personality, regardless of how I physically presented, and thus my identification of Non-binary began. But because I still identified romantically as Bisexual, I didn’t want to just fit myself into those two boxes, and as I learned more about the word queer, it helped me understand the inclusivity of the word.

How you present vs how you feel is your own journey of identity, but I think it’s important to acknowledge that presenting a way does not confirm someone’s identity. And I know this may come off as mean and I truly do not mean it to sound that way, but we need to grow from these outdated views IF we want to keep progressing and supporting members of our community, if we don’t, how are we better than the people who tried to alienate us because they didn’t accept us?. You don’t have to understand what bi-gender means, you don’t even have to personally like it, but we sure as hell better respect it. Our spectrums is wide and large and filled with beautiful colors. Let’s work together to keep those colors bright and let’s look forward to more colors joining our community. 🥰

@arabellafella has good stuff to say so I'm just gonna hit the "read this they're cool" button. :)

[midnight-clover]

I preformed my gender VERY well today and I deserve a TREAT!

[tk-n-la]

Asia's isle of five separate genders

The Bugis people of South Sulawesi are a powerful ethnic group remarkable for their recognition of five separate genders. But the future of

[signourneybooks]

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One of the things that I always wanted to hold to with kids is that I didn’t want to jump on board the whole blue is boy and pink is girl focus that there was for baby’s already. Let alone the pressure that is on them for the rest of their lives in that regard. It is why I didn’t want to ‘announce’ the baby’s gender before birth. I didn’t want to have a color coded collection of clothes for him…

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