Untitled @mia-nobody - Tumblr Blog

California struggles sooo bad with transfemme Texas bc on one hand she's queer and he wants to support all queer people but on the other hand she's still Texas and his performative ally brain can't handle it

comical-tuber

He’ll find a way

agentofdeterioration

The Catalogue of Ships in the Iliad is, to a modern audiences, what classicists have called “boring as hell,” but I can’t help but think that if you were watching Homer recite it it would have been more like when comedians go, “anybody here tonight from Chicago?” and the Chicagoans in the back start cheering

Homer’s like, “and there were forty black ships from… LOCRIS” and the Locrians in the crowd start going absolutely nuts

werewolf-transgenderism

this is fucking killing me bro. computah, show me more hot hockey firefighters whaling on cops

pocketsizedpanther

Anyways, time for the real met gala

upturnedcairn

he really is

stupidtrainwreck

What’s the craziest thing you think a state has been doing before being teleported to the state house for a meeting? I saw a hc that California had been doing a line one time, but what else? Because that couldn’t have been the most insane thing they’ve seen, especially with Florida around.

Has anyone ever been seriously injured? Mid-riot or protest? Natural disaster? Some sort of argument? In the middle of working hours for a side job?

Can you imagine if 50s California was in the middle of a movie shoot, gets whisked away, and then hours later has to play it off as a lunch break to the producers?

Or if he’d been surfing at the beach and gets snatched mid-wave, now having to sit through a meeting in swim shorts, sopping wet, and his board under the table?

It always comes back to California with me because I probably have him the most on-canon in my head, but I’d like to hear thoughts about other states too.

whereamiuguys15

I feel like the NE have been called mid fight. Like NY and NJ or someone else pulled up actively throwing hands and is kept fighting despite being in a whole diff place. I don't picture them stopping at all for those losers. 💀

hudconera

the scene that made everyone fall in love with shane hollander and officially crowned him as the bottom of all time

byjove

The masculine urge to become a mountain man. Only come off the mountain twice a year to get supplies. Farm and harvest and hunt and build everything else. Talk to myself constantly. Stop coming into town for a few years after the age of 76. The sheriff finally comes up to check on me and finds the door to my shack wide open and my skeletonized body lying in bed, tucked up under the covers. They all forgot my name so they just put ‘Mountain Man’ on my tombstone. Shack left to decay but I’m not quite done having fun. My ghost lures lost hikers in and makes them keep me company. They come off the mountain rambling about the crazy old man in the hand hewn log cabin with fire in his eyes and leaves on the floor. I was alone in life but I don’t want to be lonely in death.

koiagain

STOP vagueposting TELL ME WHO YOURE TOAKING ABOJT PLEAAASE😭😭😭😭😭😢😢😢😢😢😢pleas😢😢😢😢😢😖😖😖😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭ohmggof Hyperventilates and throws up and dies Unless everyone tells me who they’re talking about Whenever they vaguepost ever

koiagain

?

byjove

top 10 jobs for serial killers:

cop

member of any branch of the military (often combined with some of these other jobs)

‘polite family man’

truck driver

nurse (gerontology and neonatal specialties especially)

construction/contracting

doctor (gerontology and surgical specialties especially)

anything in the animal agriculture field (particularly pig farming)

preacher (Protestant evangelical especially)

account

byjove

serial killer career path gaining momentum: YouTuber

serial killer career path loosing popularity: butcher

byjove

I don’t know why butchers aren’t chasing people around with their butcher knives in bloody aprons anymore but that isn’t a major concern in 2026. Maybe modern hairnets have a soothing effect.

everythingismadeofchaos

Hey, wow, is this just like a funny fictional observation or is it real data?

Honestly I wouldn't be surprised either way

collecting-clovers

You don't see a ton of demon barbers either 😞 the economy is is shambles

afoxthatsintoclownery

It is important(?) for those who observe this blog that Heavymedic to me is an A(Heavy) fell first, B(Medic) fell harder dynamic that goes like:

Heavy- (After many months, possibly years, of a steady realization that he's fallen in love) "Well, I have fallen in love with Doktor. Will not tell him, but that is alright. We can at least stay good friends. Maybe that is all I need."

Medic- (After getting hit by his feelings like 17 consecutive trucks) "GHGGGHHHHHHFUCKING.JESUS CHRIST. I NEED THAT MANNN I NEEEEEEEED HIMMM AGGGHHGHGGHHAHGSCHEISSE. GGHHGRAAAAAAAGHGHHGG."

byjove

People were so messy in the past. I’ve been studying Alaskan newspaper archives and I just stumbled across the record of a man who abandoned his family in Washington around 1905 and lived another 30 years in a cabin along the Yukon River in Alaska with them assuming he had died around the time he left for Alaska. Dude was just sitting in a cabin in the middle of nowhere for 30 years avoiding his wife and 4 kids. No divorce, no gold panning money mailed home. And his wife didn’t even divorce him for abandonment or have him declared dead for insurance purposes. So curious if he was like “This isn’t working out, I’m going somewhere far away.” and she was like “Alright, understood.” or if he left and she couldn’t be arsed to deal with the paperwork.

creekfiend

there is this really specific thing that very Online women of a certain age (mostly older millennials and younger gen x in my experience) who are married to a man will do where they will refer to their husbands as "Mr. (Part of My Username)"

so like if the username is something like "dancingwithbears" they'll refer to their husband as "Mr. Bears"

i think it is extremely charming