gambit as a character concept is really funny to me, because he seems like the kind of person who should not have been able to survive into adulthood, let alone live long enough to get married. speaking from experience, working-class white guys in the south tend to have a hamsterlike preoccupation with winning darwin awards, particularly via blowing stuff up. recently my mom sent me a photo of her brothers being taught by my dad (shown here in the blue tank top) how to make pipe bombs from scratch. my dad (nearly?) got kicked out of his college dorm in the 70s for blowing shit up on the campus grounds.
the thing is, at least in cases like that, a guy's ability to fucking explode some random bullshit in the middle of the woods is slightly limited by his ability to acquire the fixins and construct the bomb, and by the flammability of whatever he's trying to blow up. for someone like gambit, who was born with the mutant ability to make anything he touches explode into a glorious purple(!!!) fireball of utter disintegration, the most realistic timeline for his power discovery should have been:
age ~15: a young remy lebeau discovers his mutant ability to transfer kinetic energy into inanimate objects
age ~15 + 2 months: remy is tragically killed in a freak explosion because he tried to blow up an old pickup truck thinking he could light it up with his powers while flooring it through an open field and then jump out of the moving truck before it blew up. witnesses were quoted as saying he died doing what he loved, and that he would have been proud of how cool the explosion looked
this is also why it makes sense for him to be down so horrendously bad for rogue, who could kill him by touching him. men of this background just have no concept of their own mortality. they're here for a good time, not a long time. there probably exists multiple photos of gambit within spitting distance of a 15 foot alligator with a drink in one hand and something on fire in the other
if i forget an outfit you are free to add. he doesnt changes that often bc he’s a filthy bitch but it HAPPENS. so, uh here it goes
#1 The Classic ™
score: 7/10. i only respect it because it was the first but look at those BOOTY SHORTS??? the wide neck was a good choice tho. comes in green and blue, depends on my mood on how i feel about them.
#2 old happy times
score: 1232141/10. THE ONLY OUTFIT HE SHOULD BE WEARING. matching his ex namor. waistline is a SILVER LIGHTNING????? iconic. fight me over this. his thighs are strong and no pant can withhold them.
#3 quicksilver in wundagore mountain
score: 10/10. coloring? check. pose? check. he’s got those thigh lightning thingies, like he could carry a gun there. headset looks nice if u are into the star trek stuff. black and white have never looked better
#4 mistakes
score: -32523523657/10. looks non threatening at first but then you take a closer look and YIKES. ugly ass 70s alien shoulder pads. goblin shoes. lime gloves. i hope this burns in hell. i dont even know where this came from.
#5 chton possesion
score: 100/10. had to get possessed by a hellbeast to show that CHEST. in lightning form. ugh. lovely. also that SCARF IN HIS WAIST????? i thought only women could pull that off. red suits the silver hoe. should return.
#6 post house of m depression
score: 5/10. this is how i look every morning when i get the fuck out of bed. i still love him but BABE.
#7 avengers academy.
score: 8/10. PASSABLE. only time i will ever let him wear those ugly ass lime gloves. and boots. the black atop the chest makes him look kinda cool. i’d still kick his ass in a comic con.
#8 pietro goes see a therapist
score: ankles up? 9.5/10. ankles down? -75/10. some artists dont think things trough. but it WAS the 90s
#9 good old 90s
score: 9.5/10. not like his b&w outfit but like, GOOD. i never know what to think about those neck flaps. i bet his ass must look good on black tights. and he knows it.
#10 serval industries uniform aka variant 1
score: 12/10. good tier. those flashy things along his ribs are lovely. hair looks good. actually manages not to look bad in yellow. eye piece makes him look like a super saiyan, which would turn remy on. that’s the whole point, isnt it????
variant 2: the hoodie
score: 10/10. he loved that hoodie. give it back, mavel.
#11 uncanny avengers v2
score: 312/10. he has those air vents. white on grey on futuristic blue. the googles were a weird choice but i DIG IT. i miss it.
#12 current suit
score: 2/10. ugly. that’s the youtube rewind logo. can do better. he looks soft but at what cost?
Mid-forties Pietro Maximoff really was top tier though. I'm as much of a fan of teenage quicksilver as anyone else, but burnt-out ex-terrorist divorcee Pietro who's both actively ruining his life and doing his best is so funny.
He's got a kid. Everyone he knows eventually became a teacher. He's on every watch list on the planet. His nephews are superheroes. There's nothing in his fridge except for a bundle of carrots and some expired whipped cream. He insists that his combat days are over and immediately gets into a fist fight with a teenager (Layla) in the middle of the street. Sometimes he and Crystal get into screaming matches in the Avengers' backyard for fun. He's assassinated multiple world leaders. His kiddo is doing his taxes because she seriously thinks they're fun, and he's letting her. He sends his nephews scathing hand-written critiques of their latest battles on funky 1980s postcards that he mails from the office of whatever prison he's supposed to be serving time in. There's more warrants for his arrest than you could imagine. He goes to PTA meetings in last week's clothes while his ex-wife shows up in designer suits. One time he actually dove into a bush to avoid Logan.
Luna thinks he's the greatest person on Earth. He threatens to drop her off a building all the time. Everyone else hates this, and she thinks it's the funniest thing he could do.
He brought about the apocalypse. He saved the world.
He doesn't actually pay rent, he just walked into an empty apartment and called it his. He's such a fucking mess, and his daughter adores him, and he fought his wars as a teenager and he's trying to get on with his life except he literally cannot. Everyone who meets him kind of despises him and he couldn't care less.
900w drabble inspired by this thirst from my goat @saudadiste
warnings: piv sex, cervix bruising, grief, manga spoilers, aki has a massive cock, the reader loses their mind and fucks the gun fiend. a lot of horny angst. mdni
The Gun Fiend doesn't touch you like how Aki did.
You'd started sleeping with Aki after that journey into Hell. Somewhere between rehabilitating Power and helping Aki adjust to working in the kitchen with only one arm, the two of you fell into bed with one another. Himeno once implied to you that Aki was a mediocre lay—detached and quick, almost like sex was a chore for him—but this turned out to be untrue. Aki was extraordinarily tender with you. Sometimes it seemed as though he was afraid you'd break if he got too rough with you, if he hurt you in any way at all. He kissed you calmly and intentionally, curled his fingers inside you carefully and patiently, and fucked you slow and deep. He was careful even when you asked him to be rough, squirming beneath him and begging to give you the entirety of his cock.
“You could go deeper,” you whined. “I don't mind. I wanna feel all of you inside me.”
Aki panted into your neck, and you could feel his cock twitch inside you—the part of it that he'd pushed into you, anyway. Aki never let himself bottom out. The two of you tried once and he only got maybe a little over halfway before you felt him press against your cervix, forcing a strangled cry out of you. You hadn't tried again since. But you could tell he wanted to give you the full thing then, with the way he looked at you—eyes hazy, pupils blown.
“I don't want to hurt you,” he ground out.
“You won't,” you reassured him. “I'll be fine, I promise, I'll be—ohhh—”
His cock pressed into your sweet spot—angled carefully, precise. Aki let out a breath as he ground his hips against yours, watching you writhe beneath him, feeling you squeeze around his length. “I think this is more than enough for you,” he remarked mildly, and when you tried to protest he started pumping himself into you, and suddenly you were panting into his mouth, too incoherent to argue.
The Gun Fiend isn't nearly so mindful.
If there is anything of Aki left at all in his corpse, it doesn't have much influence over the devil possessing it. It doesn't bother kissing you, for one. You don't know if it even knows what kissing is. You don't know if it totally understood what you were doing when you leaned in and pressed your lips against its mouth, tears and self-loathing spilling out of your eyes.
It seems to understand desire, though. It understands that you want to feel close to it. It understands that you need something inside you, something to fill your emptiness. It understands your urgency, your desperation. Where Aki would have once chided you to be more patient so he could take his time with you properly in bed, the Gun Fiend has pushed you onto the floor, supine, ripping the seams of your pantyhose as it seeks access to your sex.
You shouldn't be so wet. You shouldn’t want this so badly. You shouldn't be parting your thighs so willingly for the monster that killed Aki, but you miss him and your body misses him and your cunt’s soaked through your panties by the time Aki’s hands have torn them off. And maybe the Gun Fiend doesn't touch you like how Aki did—it feels more animal than human when it mounts you, more possessive than loving when its arms cage you—but it’s all you have and you'll take it even if it hurts.
You stare down the barrel of a gun as you spread your legs for a monster.
It doesn't give you much warning. You feel the fat head of its cock press against your entrance, silky and hot against your cunt, and then it's pushing inside you, stretching you out. Your mouth falls open, a cry tearing from your throat. You can't help it. Aki is—was—always so gentle with you, you aren't prepared for being handled so roughly. Unused to the feeling of being filled up past your limits, your cunt struggling to swallow the full length of him. Unused to being stuffed so full cock that you can feel it not just in your cervix, but in your throat. The Gun Fiend pauses there, feeling you tremble around its length, maybe watching salt track down your face. Can it tell the difference between tears of pain and tears of pleasure? In the eyes of a devil, are grief and ecstasy indistinguishable?
Your breathing evens out. Your body relaxes as it's broken in. You shouldn't be so wet, you shouldn't want this so badly—but your pussy is starting to squeeze around Aki’s cock, your cunt slick and dripping for the monster violating it. But the Fiend is staying itself, for whatever reason—doing nothing but watching you, a gun aimed at your racing pulse.
“Why aren't you moving?” you whisper.
It takes you a moment to understand what it's saying. The Gun Fiend rarely talks, so Aki's voice is rusted with disuse, each syllable halting, heartrending:
“I don't want to hurt you.”
You hear a pained noise—a strangled cry. Aki's hand is cupping your face. He's wiping your eyes. Let’s slow down, he’s saying. His kisses are so patient, so comforting, so intentional. Let me make you feel better.
The Gun Fiend is thumbing away your tears. You wonder if it's going to kiss you. You wonder if its mouth will feel savage or if it will feel familiar. You wonder how it will break you.
You take a deep breath, and you wrap your legs around its waist.
“Don't worry,” you say, resting your hand over the Gun Fiend's, kissing its fingers. “That’s fine. I want it to hurt.”
ok it's my time! (I included a TLDR at the bottom)
as both an x-men nerd and a catholic theology nerd, I think the most realistic outcome is that mutant-related discussions cause a schism, similar to how the methodist denomination split into global methodist vs united methodist over lgbtq+ rights/acceptance
the main obstacle to this hypothetical split would be the "high church"-ness of catholicism. basically, most protestant denominations have a little wiggle-room for theological differences between churches of the same denomination while all catholic churches are obligated to take doctrine directly from the vatican, meaning fractures do not come easily. if the vatican were to make a strong decision on mutants either way, all catholic churches would be obligated to follow that decision in their own doctrine. however, I highly doubt a pope would do this, given how wishy-washy they've been about lgbtq+ issues (which I consider the closest analogue) in the interest of 'representing ALL catholics.' therefore, mutant rights would probably be left as a church-level issue
even if the x-men universe pope did make a statement, the high church model of catholicism is currently shifting so that it might not matter as much as it would have in previous generations. for example, pope leo's anti-AI encyclical SHOULD make all catholic churches doctrinally anti-(generative)AI, but there is some resistance right now within more conservative pockets of the community who do not want to give AI up. in practice, there are significant differences in doctrine between catholic churches depending on which one you go to--not to mention the anglican/episcopal subset of catholicism, which is it's own weird and wonderful progressive place that I fully believe would be mutant-affirming regardless
mutantphobic catholics would most likely bring up bs arguments about mutantkind being a new-age perversion of the image of God, which is inherent in humanity. mutant-positive catholics, however, I could see using the rebuttal that we are all "fearfully and wonderfully made" exactly as God wills (psalm 139:14), human and mutant alike. furthermore, all people deserve love and respect; this is, after all, how disciples of the Lord are supposed to distinguish themselves (john 13:35)
TLDR: I imagine the pope would leave official doctrine ambiguous, meaning the day-to-day level of mutant acceptance among catholics would ultimately depend on which church you attend. in any case, given that we have (delightfully!) come to see queer priests and women priests in many catholic churches now (the current archbishop of canterbury is a female priest!!!), I DO firmly believe kurt would be able to find a niche where he could be ordained and fully accepted as a mutant priest, although he would still face backlash from some :')
Forgive my freakiness and rather unoriginal take but... free use with Mithrun.
The western elf lacks any sense of shame. He just gropes you or tugs on your clothes whenever he pleases. You can be lying down, reading a book, and he will flop onto you. You let him grind his soft bulge (erectile dysfunction Mithrun canon) against your leg as you continue on with your day. He'll do this while you're cooking, too—he latches behind you while he breathes shakily in your ear.
Also he cums inside OR just lets his cum spill over your stomach and just drops beside you— ignoring your attempts to catch your breath, cause DAMN you didn't know he had that in him— and rolls over hogging the blankets without even saying good night.
The year is 1999. Howl is on a jaunt in Wales when he hears the song ‘Genie In A Bottle’ on the radio for the first time. He screams and crashes the car in his rage. Physically he’s fine but mentally? He may never recover
@husband He has absolutely no memory of the incident as he fainted dead away and bonked his head on the tv and Sophie decides to let it stay that way but sometimes he still wakes up in a cold sweat from nightmares of Hasruel capturing him except now he always has Robin Williams’ voice for some reason, which somehow just makes it so much worse
Howl takes Sophie and Morgan to see CATS as a joke and neither of them speak to him for a month. Not bc they were once literal cats themselves just bc the musical was that objectively horrible
also i'm not really going anywhere with this post but i think i'd characterise gareth as Just A Chill Guy. the only time we see him in the book, he's playing with neil who has a look of "patient suffering". so he definitely tries to bond with neil and neil probably finds him extra. neil seems to have inherited megan's strong will and lack of filter (and probably even howl's dramatics — "that's just playing with a person's feelings") so i think he'd have some beef with gareth over this, especially as a teenager.
i also think gareth is black since he and neil are described as "dark" and that megan married him against her parents' wishes. but she's also interested in fitting in and being Respectable and being a biracial family doesn't help with that, so she holds some resentment/anxiety over that. i do think they love each other and are a functional couple, but whether they fully understand each other is another question. i'm picturing gareth as easygoing and friendly, and his presence makes megan happy on good days and he likes her strong-willed personality, but he's not great at understanding the full extent of her emotional constipation.
howl doesn't seem to get along with gareth from the "warm, false smile". i gave them a single interaction in my fic where gareth tries to talk to howl and howl doesn't reciprocate. i think their relationship is just awkward. howl finds gareth too normal and boring and genuine and doesn't really know how to keep up, so he slithers out of interacting entirely. but fwiw i don't think gareth ever minded howl living with megan and freeloading on them, it's megan who had a problem with that because it reflected badly on her. gareth imo is nice enough and too chill to care.
as for mari i have absolutely no basis for thinking this, but i'm headcanonning she's closer to gareth than megan. if megan is the strict parent and gareth is the pushover the children respond to them differently. like i see neil finding gareth annoying at times and wanting space from him, i see mari finding him fun and easy to hang out with. mari inherited gareth's personality mayhaps?
(as for megan's relationship with the kids i think she's strict but also they're both close to her in the sense that she's a stay at home mom and spends a lot of time with them. i can't extrapolate much about mari since she's pretty young, but i'm sure neil absorbs a lot of megan's opinions from how he calls howl "no good". i want to think he has a close relationship with megan where he gets in trouble all the time but she's a softie deep down.)
.....this post wasn't going anywhere but it's a parry family headcanon post now ig
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