strategy/tips for the area 51 raid:
-get some sort of protection against bullets, no one wants to get shot
-bring your blast protection diamond armour y’all, maybe also bring the enchanting table as well (make sure to leave space in your inventory though) (seriously though watch out for landmines)
-actually attacking the guards is a bad idea, but we will probably need weapons, so maybe bring a switchblade or a concealable weapon just in case
-first aid kits first aid kits first aid kits
-sunscreen, it’s in nevada after all
-learn how to naruto run very fast in the following 3-4 months
-make sure to supply yourself with food. KYLES: make sure to bring a fuckton of monster energy drinks
-we tell kpop stans they they have some kpop guy locked in at area 51, they will surely join the raid as human shields then
-bring ur strongest diamond swords and ur army of minecraft dogs
-don’t forget that we are comrades and we help each other out at all times
-tnt and flint & steel to blow up the gates
-wave 1: kyles and naruto runners, a strong wave to start off the raid. remaining survivors will wait for the rest of the team
-wave 2: furries and alien butt clappers, nothing can stop their weird but temporarily accepted passion for weird shit
-wave 3: anti-vaxx kids, taylor swift and kpop stans (human shields), and karens, a wave weaker than the others to trick the guards to thinking that we’re at our last resorts
-the last wave: keanu reeves, minecraft redstone engineers and command block geniuses, jacksepticeye, and an army of raiders with heavy armour and flamethrowers we got from elon musk
-when we get into the entrance of the base, naruto runners and kyles go on the front lines. everyone gets into position and the redstone engineers break the walls with tnt.
-naruto runners run faster than bullets to get through the guards and use the tnt they got to break through the inner gates (of course they are wearing blast protection armour just in case). the kyles distract the guards with the furries and alien butt clappers. probs most anti-vaxx kids are dead by now. the karens are complaining and asking the guards to talk to their manager, and the rest is resisting guards that are trying to get us from behind.
-we explode more walls and stuff
-half the team goes to discover the research lab and the other half goes to free the aliens. (though all the alien butt clappers get to go to the alien place, they deserve it). wave 4 peeps stay behind to take care of the guards.
-when we are done raiding the research base and the alien prison place, we meet up. hopefully we find UFO’s or something so we can use those to transport everyone. we try out the new weapons first to see how we can use them non-lethally and stop the guards when we are escaping. NO ONE GETS LEFT BEHIND.
-when we are done with area 51 we go over to the stupid ass concentration camps they lock up innocent children in and free all of them. the government would not expect for us to raid there right after area 51. plus, we have our new alien technology!
-happy end: kids are free, the government totally destroyed, aliens are free, we made history, butt clappers are happy, naruto runners and weebs are finally honoured, and for once, earth is in peace.
-reminder that do not try to kill guards on purpose, they have lives and families, too. just don’t kill any guards even though they are trying to kill us. maybe kidnap them but don’t hurt them, they are just doing their job.
-also anyone who raids will be a criminal from now on, damn that’s hard to take. if you kill a guard that’s even worse. prepare for the trauma and the consequences of raiding area 51.
thank yall for coming to my ted talk
jacobvanloon
blakekathryn
areudirty
theartofmadeline
vaporwave
gummygunk
origamiaround
