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May: pls get me some pringles
May: and maybe more spliff if you love me
May: it is an eMERCENGY
Michael: I don't love you
Michael: So, this is only an emergency if you're bleeding.

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@michaelffck
text: open
May: pls get me some pringles
May: and maybe more spliff if you love me
May: it is an eMERCENGY
Michael: I don't love you
Michael: So, this is only an emergency if you're bleeding.
It’s far too early for you people to be barging into my hotel room…again. Who is it?
“It’s never too early, lets be honest here -- never, ever to early -- that’s a lie, I haven’t been to bed yet.”
Are you any good at removing bras?
One hand, while the other doesn’t move from your ass -- I could say I am pretty damn good, love.
I’ve had about three shots of tequila and I have an urge to take off all my clothes. This is gonna be a fun night.
An urge to take off all your clothes? Would you like a little bit of a hand with that?
& | Michael.
Oh Em Gee, One Dalmation ? That’s my favourite band ! Although, I might have to charge you on that coffee run. Just a book or two in return of my favour, sine you’re going to the book store anyways. And you might want to turn that jacket in to one of the stylists; they’ll know how to sew it up and stuff.
Yes, One Dalmation, I don’t know how I have done anything in my life without hearing their music, just can’t take it. Alright, you tell me which books and I can do that, but only because you’re cute and you’re going to buy my coffee -- what did you want? They better not screw up the lining though, I’ll be so disappointed.
I think there is a tear in this jacket… my change keeps falling out, and it’s getting harder and harder to fill this coffee addiction before I head over to the shop. I need my coffee before, the book store may seem like a dreary place that’s all dusty and smells like mould, but you should meet the owner — they talk slower than that guy from One Dalmatian…Henry Steels, is that his stupid name? --.. by the way, would you mind getting my coffee this go around?
You know, sometimes I look back on my life and realize that I was just some boy with a stupid bike and a purple shirt and a family to help look after. And look at me now, and I nearly risked this all because I couldn’t play FIFA. Wow.
Yeah, maybe you really should have thought about that purple shit -- because that was the risk to me, don’t even fight me on that.
fucking idiots (deleted youtube video)
i dare you to watch this without smiling bc it is impossible
just gonna leave this here ok
I know it’s me that’s supposed to love you And when I’m home you know I got you Is there somebody who can watch you?
Michael Clifford & Taissa Farmiga
Parks and Recreation S07E05 | The only contract I’ve ever signed is my Mulligan’s Steakhouse Club Card.
Oh now I’m your favourite, huh?
You're always my favourite. Have you ever met Eleanor?
Yes, my face is fucked up. Would you please stop staring?
Who needs to get fucked up for that one?
Look, it's my favourite sister.
Erin: *reading some a-1 Ziall headcanon*
Me: *listening, but replying to a kik message*
Erin: *finishes and turns to me for my input*
Me: *still typing* I'll give you a reaction in a second.
Erin:
Me: *continues typing*
Erin:
Me:
Erin:
Me: *turns to her finally and goes on a rant about how tru shit that headcanon was*
Both: *bursts out into laughter of inaudible squeaking*