screams of innocent microwaves

feed me your children

[microwave-screams]

[microwave-screams]

Oh sorry that's mine, I forgot to put it back in place.

[microwave-screams]

[hazel-officially]

Everyone that reblogs this post by July 5th 2019 will get two moodboards based on their blog’s theme

[equalibroom]

Everyone?

[hazel-officially]

E V E R Y O N E

[erosgrimm]

Billie Eilish

This took me 6 hours, I went that long without a break. 😅 Really hope this gets some attention.

[microwave-screams]

“Oh god” I scream, eyes going wide. But there he is, at the end of the hall I hear his deafening screams. Those screams have haunted my nightmares every night for the last 5 years. And then... and then... I hear him speak. “I͈̩ͅ’̬̙ͅv͉̬͚̖̂ͥ̋͑e͔̬͔̝͊̿̃̄̽͆̔ ̣̙͙̥̦̀̇̓͆ͩ̚ͅr͚͙͍̎͆͋̿̾̚e̻ͣͫs͇̥̺͖̙̫̀̒̍ͥͦ͆o̪̲͙̼̜͒̎r̋ͣͬ̈́ͫͣͭt͗ͪe̳͚̲͍̎͑͌ͮ́̈ͦd̩̰͖̞ͥ ̺͓̯̗̳̆ͧ̌̔t͈͚͎̮̋͆̓̚ó̳ͪ͆̐ͬ ͌̊d̫͔͎̗ͅr͕̱̪͕͖̣̞͛̔̊ͥ̋͑̚ȋ̹̝͉͊ͪn͖̘̬̖ͫͭ̉k̳ͫͬḭ̬̫̰͚͙͔ͥ̈̉͆n̰͔͉̚g͗̓͗̚ ̙̹̻͌ͪ̇ͫ͒͒ͮr̮̖̤̻̹͇͐͋͂̏ả̳͕̪ͬ̒͋̈́n͖͎̹̟̘̟̬̒c̘͎͍̬̘̤̪̏ͤ͊ͩͧ̏h̙̟̱̃ͭͧ”

[pretty-castiel]

Reblog if you want a terrible, 3 sentence fan fiction in your ask, based on your url

[back-that-sass-up]

THIS HAS OVER 40,000 NOTES AND WITHIN FIFTEEN MINUTES I FOUND THIS IN MY MESSAGES:

“and then i saw him walk across the room. he got very close to me and whispered “back that sass up”“

[oroborochi]

80,000 NOTES AND I GOT ONE!

“ He descended upon me, that pink archangel, with those pink and ripe nipples. “

[anotherfirebender-deactivated20]

12 minutes “Oh not. Not another fire bender!” I said to myself. But then he came up behind me and grabbed my ass. So he’s cool now I guess 288,250 notes

[matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll]

HALF AN HOUR AT MOST “Its okay,” he said leaning his walking stuck against the wall and removing the young man’s glasses “ let me frost your roll” matt the blind cinnamon roll blushes as his core softened for his new lover.

[disastrousqueer]

i need that

[disastrousqueer]

holy shit i got two?? i feel so special rn

[leftyluci]

Please

[leesacrakon]

I need

[almndmilknhoney-deactivated2023]

🅱️lease

[foreverwcnter]

someone made my day with this

[starkie-md]

oh please, please, please, please, please?

(my inner canadian really coming out)

:DDDDDDDD

[starkie-md]

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU ALL!!!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

*me, owning a strange boutique housegoods/book store selling a variety of mystic, occult objects but no one realizes I live there, this is literally my living room*

[suertepls]

How much for this stick I can shake at God?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

10 bucks

[modernsuperhero]

can i get these three backscratchers with a bundle discount

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

15% discount for 3 or more

[honey-pot-hobbies]

How bout this book? I think it’s look cool with a cosplay I’m planning

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

40 bucks but never attempt to read or open it

[muse-meter]

How much is the doll?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Oh that? Just take it. Take it far far away and do not allow it to return

[chameleonwho-deactivated2020031]

How about this?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

$29.99. Just be careful not to leave the candles burning at night, the gremlin comes alive and likes to wander around and go through your stuff

[ahotpeaceofshit]

Hey this chair looks cool, how much?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the chair chooses its owner. sit down and see if it likes you

[krystal-prisms]

How bout this

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Excuse me that’s my great-uncle, he is family

[blackfox21]

What about this?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

that’s not a sale item, that’s my dang lunch

[anonymous-elf]

How much is this neat tea set?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

OH GODS YOU’VE SET THEM LOOSE

[bai-zewarrior]

What about this super creepy cool chair?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

that’s Lionel. they’re sleeping.

I suggest you do NOT wake them

[microwave-screams]

Think we can make a deal on this cool robot fetus?

[duvete-deactivated20210206]

[realanimetraining]

Happy Piccolo Day!!

[jaxblade]

HAPPY PICCOLO DAY

[bonesofyarn]

[barjonabombers]

[itsapmseymour]

Its because May 9th is 5 / 9

In Japanese that’s

Go Ku/Kyu

It’s a pun

It will always beat Piccolo

[microwave-screams]

[mcdolans]

every single person who reblogs this

every

single

person

will get “doot doot” in their ask box

[semememes-blog]

HOW

[lexiwestiiee]

I WANT TO KNOW YOUR SECRET

[takemewherethewildthingsare]

SERIOUSLY THOUGH WHAT ARE YOU

[clariphonete-deactivated2014111]

I GOT THIS AND I WAS LIKE WHAT THE 

[wrappingpaper]

there are over 128,000 notes and i still got one

how

[bbassam-deactivated20151227]

i reblogged this less than 2 minutes ago

how the actual 

[d0nn0-deactivated20150125]

legit how, in like 30 seconds i got one and this has 500k notes

[zackisontumblr]

1.7 million notes and…

[krisloveslife]

Doot…?

[pastlizard]

IWANNADOOTDOOT XP

[snowycj-deactivated20200619]

?

[cream-cheese-and-bagels]

psst.. in order to get more.. turn on anon asks.. 

[enfranchisement]

send me your first impression of me versus your current impression of me

[ukrainian-psycho]

thats just some tea, yall  ☕ ☕ ☕

[inlovewithhearts]

Mage !

[saisai-chan]

definitely a mage

[itsapmseymour]

//looks at my Purple Converses//

Okay yeah.

[microwave-screams]

Peasant bandit

[whatasunchild]

Apollo breaking gender rules

Niobe *mocking*: you’ve often dressed up in women’s dresses

Apollo: No

Apollo: I wear dresses. They’re not “women’s dresses”

Apollo: They’re my dresses. I buy them

Apollo: die mad bitch

[theoi-crow]

God of no-time-for-your-societal-bullshit

[microwave-screams]

Apollo said Fuck gender sterotypes!

[sleepyskele]

Psst, hey, hey you, yes you

Everybody who reblogs this before may 25th 2019 will get a little cryptid design based on their blog, url, etc.

[i-am-a-fish]

A SLIMEY BOY WAS BORN TODAY

me! it was me!

[microwave-screams]

Happy birthday!

[shock]

my name’s jack! i’m a full-time student, i have two part-time jobs, i’m a parent to two wonderful horrible animals, i’m a trans guy paying for his own HRT, and art makes me happy. so here’s a slightly more organized commission sheet.

i will draw: gore, OCs, canon characters, most animals, anthro, feral, robot parts, body horror, pixel art, reference sheets, pet portraits (ranging from $40-60), i can also draw human characters as animals with enough information ^_^

i will not draw: anything racist, pedophilic, misogynistic, transphobic, you know the drill, anything i’m uncomfortable with doing i will be upfront about, no creepy porn, just ask me

my contact info:

[email protected] or,

instant message @shock

if you aren’t sure about pricing, please don’t hesitate to ask! if you find something in [my art tag] that you don’t see something like here, go ahead and ask for a price! i take payment through my paypal, which is NOT the email listed (it’s [email protected]). i also would like to only have payment through USD, but any equivalent is fine too. thanks in advance!

[shock]

please commission me i need money to live <3 i haven’t been able to work much with finals & personal things going on so the extra cushion would be really really helpful 

[shock]

only like my posts if you want to be part of my pirate crew

[shock]

rules

1. you must have a cool backstory (made up is fine but dont tell me)

2. one of you must be able to do math, you will be our quartermaster

3. must know a skill - doesnt matter what it is as long as you’re confident about it, it will help

4. you must not be afraid of ropes or telescopes (we need those)

5. must be willing to address me as Captain Nonsense

6. first mate position is open but you have to court me

7. must be willing to sing sea shanties at the drop of a hat

8. must be willing to kill British war criminals for prizes abound

[microwave-screams]

You see am simply a microwave. I can warm up your food and draw. Just don't trust me with ovens.

You can press the buttons on my panel as an instrument and open and close my door as a drum perhaps. When I was a young microwave me and my sister we're on the beach when mermaids came and stole her, since then I've vowed to cross the 7 seas to find her, by joining the crew I might find her. So Captain Nonsense, you willing to let me say "aye aye captain"?