Untitled

[seecarrun]

My roommates left me in charge of decorating the bathroom for our Halloween party.

[freak-angelic]

HOLY SHIT NO

[midgetandahalf]

Oh my god Sam. Sam. Sam. The next time we live in the same location one of us needs to sneak into the other's house and do this.

[ciarazar]

spend a solid 24 hours watching youtube videos of horror games

spend the next 10 hours completing nine homework assignments

ლ(╹◡╹ლ)

[midgetandahalf]

You mostly responsible college student you. I'm so damn proud

[midgetandahalf]

Siren kid by the way is talking to his mom about which bus they're getting on and appears to have a far deeper understanding of the routes than I do

[midgetandahalf]

I'm sitting on a bus with a little kid making siren noises directly behind me and the winner of the most obnoxious tone of voice in a man across from me. These, I'm beginning to realize, are the joys of public transportation

[midgetandahalf]

Friend: Give me back my phone, I was doing something!

Me: You were scrolling on tumblr.

Friend: ... I had scrolled a lot!

[shortvideosandstuff]

[thefurrynerd]

DO NOT DO THIS.

I AM DEAD SERIOUS HERE. USING A BINDER CLIP ON THE SCRUFF OF A CAT’S NECK TO SEDATE IT IS ONLY TO BE DONE BY TRAINED VETERINARIANS. IF A CAT IS TIGHTLY HELD BY THE SCRUFF OF THE NECK FOR TOO LONG, LIKE WITH A BINDER CLIP, THE HORMONES THAT CALM THE CAT CAN POSSIBLY LOWER ITS BLOOD PRESSURE AND COULD POSSIBLY STOP THE CAT’S HEART. IF YOU CARE ABOUT THE CAT, DO NOT DO THIS.

[soutasemeshiro-deactivated20151]

PLEASE PLEASE 

DO

NOT

DO THIS

[midgetandahalf]

As a person who doesn't know anything about cats and also despises the feel of a binder clip on my own skin, I have to wonder what the motivation for doing this even is?

[banknote-deactivated20170409]

If you’re ever sad, just look at this photoset of humongous dogs.

[hsalami]

I love big dogs. 

[thebullthecrow]

Dogs dogs dogs :3

[acid--flesh-deactivated20190203]

Ugh, Samoyeds

perf

[midgetandahalf]

Giant wubbies!!!!

[laughingsquid]

Porn Sex vs Real Sex, The Differences Explained With Food

[midgetandahalf]

Oh my god the frowning teapot

[paintmekala]

Dear Lord, what a beautiful crazy boy…

[midgetandahalf]

when my sister and I used to play Holes when we were kids we would just divide up all the characters between the two of us and Zigzag was always one of the ones I called seniority on

[ciarazar]

my dad asked me to make him an ice cream cake for father’s day

no one understands how excited i am to try this

i feel like the boundaries of my capabilities are about to be redefined

[midgetandahalf]

God speed my friend

[midgetandahalf]

yes, that was the quote.

I used it for my online psych class so thanks

[midgetandahalf]

This massive contraption is the thing I spent my day building with my dad. He was so fucking stoked the whole time I didn't even know it was possible for a person to be that excited about cooking equipment. Happy early Father's Day people

[ciarazar]

i’ve been trying to write this e/r fic for a while now and just went back to edit the latest bit and realized i wrote “dead apollo” instead of “dear apollo” and that is one terrible freudian slip

[midgetandahalf]

This is totally not the point but I totally just had a "Sam watches ER?" Moment

[militaryfit-bombshell-deactivat]

Super Silky Summer Legs

Next time you are feeling down, about to binge, going on a date, or just need to pamper yourself, do this. I just did it and I can not stop rubbing my legs together. It feels like I paid for that over expensive pedicure at the salon.

Ingredients

1 1/4 C Sugar (Yup, plain, good-ol’ white sugar)

1/2 C Oil (I used olive oil, but you can use any oil, coconut oil, baby oil, canola oil)

3 tablespoons Citrus (Lime or lemon)

1-2 Razors

Mix everything together in a bowl.

Soak your legs in the tub for 5 minutes.

Shave your legs.

Rub some of this mixture all over your legs. The sugar will help rub off all dirt and dead skin. Rub, rub. Feels like a mini massage.

Rinse it all off, shave again. I would use one razor per leg if you have two. You will be rinsing this razor a lot. I was GROSSED out by the amount of dead skin I was “shaving” off. It was insane! Trust me, you’ll see.

Rub your legs again! Second coat of wax, oh yeah.

Rinse off! You can use a mild soap to help get some of the oil off.

Lotion your legs up, and feel the silkiness!

[filharmagic-deactivated20140217]

i just did this and after about 2 or so months of not shaving this is the most incredible thing i have ever done its like my legs arent even legs they’re some sort of ancient fabric made only for powerful pharoahs

[melvester]

I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR LIKE 6 MONTHS THANK YOU TUMBLR

[fuckingrecipes]

THIS FUCKING RECIPE IS A WONDERFUL THING. USE IT WHEREVER YOU SHAVE. 

FACE? LEGS? IDK JUST SMUSH IT AGAINST YOUR SKIN AND REJOICE

[captocie]

Okay my followers, I have tried this! I will break down the pros and cons for you:

Cons:

You may feel like you’re rubbing salad dressing on your legs

If you nick yourself shaving… well there is lemon juice in the scrub. Don’t nick yourself shaving.

Your bathtub may get ants if you don’t rinse it well after.

Makes your bathtub floor super slippy

Pros:

My legs are now softer than my face

I keep finding myself petting them

when they touch each other it’s like angels intimately cuddling

Also they do that advertisement-skin thing wherin it always looks like they’re in good lighting.

I recommend using olive oil as OP did because it has the same relative PH as skin. You’re going to have to mix the thing a lot before it emulsifies.

All in all I say WORTH IT.

[ciarazar]

did this after wanting to for a few weeks, screw my legs, my feet are so fucking soft this is great

[midgetandahalf]

Awesome basic exfoliant recipe, I ended up with too much so I just popped the rest in the fridge to use on my face for the next few days. The only thing I would say is DO NOT skip the lotion step at the end. Exfoliation and even just shaving your legs strips your skin of natural oil really bad so moisturizer well.

[ciarazar]

let’s play another rousing game of “what the fucking hell was my email/password combo for this site three years ago”

[midgetandahalf]

See that’s why I’m an idiot and use the same password for absolutely everything. Learn from me

[ciarazar]

except for when they’re like specific and say...

[midgetandahalf]

But you can't really do that either because then that shit exists on paper and your neighbors get all your secrets

[petapeta]

[the-meggo]

[midgetandahalf]

Ahhhhh oh my god this is me

[thingsthatsing-deactivated20180]

Don’t bend; don’t water it down; don’t try to make it logical; don’t edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.

Franz Kafka (via englishjakes)

I'm guessing this is the quote?