EVERYTHING I LOVE IS DEAD OR DYING

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@midwestisolation
EVERYTHING I LOVE IS DEAD OR DYING
emptiness keeps me still where have you gone? i am lost in your light i am lost in the hurt we share
wish i could say it'd be the last time i'd feel like this the burning in my chest from others negligence finish me give me death i don't have the will to live like this
i talked to fucking god i looked him in the eyes i told him i'm in pain and he turned me away
far away from the place i feel safest i'm reaching out as i watch you leave you're abandoning me you're abandoning me
i was taught to hate myself before anything else
every night i lie asleep trying to wake up from this dream numb but i still feel it crawling under my skin i threw it all away but it still stays the same try and forget my name but it's something i just can't change i threw it all away but it still stays the same
you're not in this alone and you don't have to feel that you are we're what separates the heart from the heartless so we'll push forward regardless of the consequence we're what separates the heart from the heartless so we'll keep pushing regardless
this world doesn't fight you you fight yourself thinking we fail you you fail yourself
this is no longer indifference this is anger born from pain this is no longer indifference this is agony turning into hate
peace is found pain is rediscovered not all is lost, but not much is left the only way to survive is to hurt to let it take its course
i gnash and claw against the weakness in my veins and reject the narrow path that's laid out before me i bend the shape of my surroundings inflict my will on the world around me i hone myself into a weapon enlightenment through annihilation on a world that wants to crush me i inflict my will
and sing for all your friends and family sing for those who didn't survive but sing not for their final outcome sing a song of how they tried we live amidst a violent storm leaves us unsatisfied at best so fill your heart with what's important and be done with all the rest
i've been trying to find the last nail in the casket will i ever learn to forgive and forget? i tried to bury hatchet but it's buried deep, deep inside my back it's like pulling teeth trying to forget what you did to me the last nail in the casket lay it to rest it's like pulling teeth trying to forget what you took from me the last nail in the casket lay it to rest
there's no hope in an unclenched fist there's no end when you believe in this still beating still burning
I have been in Palestine for two weeks and one hour now, and I still have very few words to describe what I see. It is most difficult for me to think about what’s going on here when I sit down to write back to the United States. Something about the virtual portal into luxury. I don’t know if many of the children here have ever existed without tank-shell holes in their walls and the towers of an occupying army surveying them constantly from the near horizons. I think, although I’m not entirely sure, that even the smallest of these children understand that life is not like this everywhere.
Rachel Corrie February 7th, 2003
you could not bridge the gap between you and me some things are better left unsaid but i can't just smile nod my head when i should be screaming screaming at the sun so i waste my fucking time beating my head against brick fucking walls sharing words with you