Migraine Doll

Word vomit about chronic migraines

[migrainedoll]

✋🏼

HEY PAIN, FUCK OFF.

[migrainedoll]

Thoughts✨

I've taken a really long break from writing and reposting on here.. I wanted to disconnect so badly from my constant pain- both physically and emotionally. I've tried my hardest to not let my raw emotions- Sadness, anger, frustration - enter my headspace. I hate thinking about what Migraine has done to my life. I know that I am having trouble accepting my current health and past health situations- it's too painful and if I admit how bad things really are.. I'm afraid of what that would feel like. All this avoiding of the present and mentally escaping to a different place is starting to backfire. I've wondered where does al the raw emotion go? I can only push it down for so long before it begins to surface or burst. And that's how I feel now- sometimes I'll have sad moments or days where I can't exactly pin point the exact reason why I feel this way, but the overlying culprit is always associated to MIGRAINE. I'm hoping writing my thoughts and how I feel will help me manage this.. And hopefully releasing all that sadness will even help my migraines (*gasp*)

[spooniestrong]

US Spoonies:

Keep breathing.

[migrainedoll]

---

"rate your pain level, scale 1-10" Me: *SHITTY AF*

[lindsaymarygrace]

It’s amazing what you can endure when you aren’t given the choice.

2am thoughts (via running-through-all)

[migrainedoll]

Me: I'm doing too much. I need to rest and take care of my body.

Also Me: I'm not doing enough. I need to get more stuff done.

[kipplekipple]

Stop waiting to be ill enough.

You’ll never feel ill enough. There will always be a little voice in the back of your head whispering that you’re fine, really, you’d be okay if you only tried harder.

That little voice isn’t the voice of reason - it’s the voice of internalised ableism, and you owe it nothing.

Find someone who can help you. Apply for the benefits you need. Use the mobility aids that make your life easier. Give yourself a break.

You deserve it. You are ill enough. You aren’t faking it, you aren’t mooching. You’re surviving, and you deserve a round of applause.

[spoonies-thoughts]

Having a chronic illness isn’t like the romanticized versions you see from Hollywood. Having a chronic illness is not being able to sit down because you hurt so bad but not being able to stand either. Having a chronic illness is standing at the shower for two hours hoping you will have the strength to get in but not being able to put on foot after the other. Having a chronic illness is screaming and crying at home because it hurts so bad that you can’t even take your clothes off, but the next day going to work and smiling because that’s what you have to do. Having a chronic illness is puking for hours in the bathroom and then continuing with your day because it’s completely normal for you. Having a chronic illness is like having the pain of death, but not actually dying.

[youngchronicpain]

Does it ever occur to you out of the blue how bad your condition has gotten? Like you’re just sipping coffee thinking about turtles and then you realize that just a couple years ago you could do so many more things. You realize that you’ve acclimated so well to this life that you can’t even imagine how it was before.

[madgirlf]

being chronically ill is so fucking hard. it’s so hard to fight my own body. it’s so hard to wake up and want to have a good day but not be able to. it’s so hard to feel like I’m wasting so many days laying in bed trying to heal. it’s so hard not knowing when this pain will end. it’s so hard to take medicine to feel better but then get sick from the side effects. it’s so hard to feel guilty all the time about how my illness affects the people I love. it’s so hard waiting to have my life back. it’s so hard not knowing if it’ll ever happen.

to anyone else in this battle: I see you. I hear you. you are such a warrior.

[migrainedoll]

P A I N

Feeling everything

[wordsnquotes]

So, what if, instead of thinking about solving your whole life, you just think about adding additional good things. One at a time. Just let your pile of good things grow.

Rainbow Rowell, Attachments (via wordsnquotes)

[artmania-feed]

[wordsnquotes]

ART PRINTS BY KATEPOWELLART

Also available as canvas prints, T-shirts, All over print shirts, Phone cases, Throw pillows, Tapestries and More!

[spiffymuffin]

Chronic migraine is defined as having migraines at least 15 days every month, lasting four hours or more.

[spiffymuffin]

Chronic Migraine in America 2013 [x]

[inspirationwordslove]

[queerkat-manor]

Reasons Why I Hate the Pain-Level Chart

• It’s super subjective. One person’s 7 and someone else’s 9 may be the same exact thing, often times people either over or under-exaggerating pain depending on the doctor or situation.

• a lot of serious issues aren’t even pain related. For example, extreme dizziness or fatigue: is it pain? No. Is it terrifying and very serious? Yes.

• let’s say the pain level for one chronic ailment is a solid 5 continuously, and another is a 9 but only when it spikes. Um… Should I be averaging this out?

• many times doctors will disbelieve their patient’s pain levels anyway and make false presumptions depending on where that pain is located, the patient’s age, their actions (many of us have become experts with putting on a brave face) as well as many other factors.

• on that note, it has been proven that female patients are actually treated less seriously the higher they say their pain level is.

• One doctor’s idea of what a 7 may be for pain is another’s for what a 10 will be. Unless there’s a visual chart you can both look at, the chances of both the doctor and the patient being on the same page concerning what a ‘7’ feels like is extremely unlikely.

• pain is not necessarily correlated with how severe a patient’s ailment is. Seriously. It’s not.

So in conclusion, the pain level chat is a ridiculous concept that really shouldn’t be used at all in the medical industry anymore, especially concerning those who have chronic conditions. I’m honestly tired of doing this spiel every time a doctor asks me to rate my pain level.

[spoonsandstripes]

So true! I have so much trouble with this kind of question, bc I’m not good at just guessing stuff - I like to be really precise. So I always get all caught up trying to figure out how to rate constant nagging pain vs short spikes with movement, or even just remember how it’s been recently, or try and figure it out now when I’ve got a million other things on my brain and I get all confused and freeze up. (the brain fog and TBI definitely don’t help either).

Over the years I have gotten a bit better at dealing with this question, but mostly because I’ve basically given up on the scale meaning anything. I basically always rate the amount of pain I’m in at that moment as a 5 - or a 6 if it’s really bad, and I got a bit of practice tracking pain for my own records. The only problem with that is that my numbers are probably much lower than what others would use - I describe a 6 as too bad to function - but since it seems like a lose-lose situation with number that are too high or too low I mostly just stick to my script.

[migrainedoll]

:!

It's hard to tell my Nuerologist how I've really been feeling, the awfulness... If can't even admit it to myself-silently, how am I supposed to say it out loud.