transhets rock! 💌

hi :) he/him, autistic transhet. mostly transhet content because people forget we exist. average transmasc gamer boy. inclus

[glittergroovy]

[tboy-cock]

ah fuck not again

[mikumanifesto]

it's sad knowing i'm not a part of the demographic when cis girls talk about liking femboys and feminine guys. as a trans man, i can not be feminine, i will never be what they want, and i will always be subconsciously not a real man to them

[fagesque]

the sort of ideology that being a man and being a lesbian are always *COMPLETELY SEPARATE experiences with NO OVERLAP* definitely delayed my realization that I'm bigender. like, I am a man who is partially a woman, and that womanhood is connected to my attraction to other women. I identified as a binary trans man for years before I realized this. and i think if someone had, very early on in my transition, said to me "you know you could be both a man and a lesbian," i would have identified myself this way many years earlier.

[gay-otlc]

Tbh there is no way to shit on straight transmascs without parroting transphobia, lesbophobia, or both.

People who say or imply they wish I was mlm rather than mlw don't realize they are giving me the exact same message I received while growing up as a lesbian; I would be more valuable if I liked men. They don't realize I tried so fucking hard to like men. Or maybe they do realize, and they don't care.

And people who are completely supportive of me liking women, they just wish I liked women as a woman instead of a gross straight man- that's transphobia. It is transphobic to treat me like they would like me better if I was cisgender. And even if they're okay with me being trans, they would rather I be a nonbinary lesbian than a straight trans man. Which is transandrophobia.

If you're giving me shit for being a trans man who likes women, you're either giving me shit for being attracted to women (which isn't progressive now that I'm trans, it was shitty when I was a lesbian girl and it's shitty now), or you're giving me shit for being a trans man (which is blatant transphobia).

Also it's just an asshole thing to do. If we could, like, stop making fun of people for their genders and sexualities? That would be great. Thanks.

[dirtnote]

[gay-otlc]

A take I've noticed among some (not all, not even most, just some) mlm transmascs is the idea that straight transmascs have privilege over them. They acknowledge straight transmascs don't have it easy since we still face transandrophobia, but believe trans + gay is automatically more oppressed than trans + straight.

It might seem like straight transmascs have straight privilege, but we really don't. For one thing, transphobes don't see us as straight. They see us as lesbians. Straight privilege is meaningless if we're not recognized as straight, you know?

For another thing, even if we are seen as straight in spaces where trans people are recognized as their gender, that's not always a privilege. Being straight and queer in queer spaces can be incredibly alienating (an experience we have in common with heteroromantic aces & heterosexual aros).

Also, in these kinds of spaces, the main thing I've experienced as a straight trans man has been the way other queer people will treat me like I'm dangerous to them because I'm a straight man, or like I've betrayed the community by joining the oppressor. Similar to the men-are-evil rhetoric that trans men of all sexualities face, but with a bonus anti-transhet twist. It's not that all men are evil, it's that straight men are evil.

So it might seem like mlm transmascs have the privilege of not being targeted by their fellow queers who think straight men are evil, but that's not a privilege. If this antimasculist rhetoric is only targeting straight men, this is because they (however subconsciously) see gay men as less male than straight men. This is a common component of homophobia against cis men as well. And although this often causes other queer people to see mlm transmascs as less of a threat than straight transmascs, it comes at the expense of being denied access to manhood, a painful experience for many transmascs.

The point I'm trying to make with all these words is that transandrophobia will affect transmascs differently depending on their sexuality, but we all experience transandrophobia and neither of us are really privileged over the other. We should avoid invalidating the other group's oppression, which some members of both groups are guilty of.

[doggypocalypse-deactivated20241]

just a guy crazy about girls (in a distinctly gomez and morticia kind of way)

[gay-otlc]

Tbh I feel like a lot more trans mlw would want to identify as transhet if yall didn't treat straight trans men like absolute shit. Like, me and multiple other transmascs I know tried to force ourselves to be comfortable identifying as a lesbian because we didn't want to become straight men, friends had told us we better not end up being straight men, we didn't want to lose our queer identity but straight masculinity is seen as incompatible with queerness. So we tried being lesbian trans men. And exclusionists would rather scream "male lesbians are bad and evil" than address and try to dismantle the transandrophobia that leads so many trans mlw to identify as lesbians rather than straight trans men.

(For clarity, not all lesbian trans men identify that way out of external pressure or internalized transandrophobia, and i don't think every one of them should switch to identifying as a straight trans man. I just find it interesting that exclusionists would rather spew hate than actually help trans mlw)

[trans4translove]

hey guys friendly reminder to give your local transhet 200 dollars

[gay-otlc]

If a trans man who likes women stops identifying as a lesbian and starts identifying as straight, the queer community is like "ewww a straight man!!!! you're personally responsible for all the homophobia and misogyny in the world!!!! get out of our community!!!!! we're being progressive btw" and then if a trans man who likes women continues identifying as a lesbian, the queer community is like "your identity is so problematic!!!! you're a predator invading the lesbian community!!!" like there is no way for us to win, honestly just say you hate trans men and go

[arovaricious]

Shoutout to queerhet ppl whose straight/het attraction is explicitly, fully queer

[splashtail]

i hope transhet people have a wonderful day ^-^

[morsobaby]

Reminder that gays and lesbians and all same gender attracted people are allowed to have a complex, weird, contradictory and nuanced relationship to their gender identity and nobody's allowed to argue about that. If another gay person doesn't fit your preference move on. Transmasc lesbians and Transfem gays aren't your enemy. Nonbinary lesbians are nonbinary, yes, even if that means bigender, Xenogender, agender, genderfluid. Yes, even if that means they sometimes identify as heteros, bisexuals pansexuals or other multisexuals due to their gender identity. These people are enjoying the full spectrum of the rainbow and you should rather admire them than throw rocks.

Oh, and yes, even if they AREN'T hetero, bi, Pan or other multi orientation where their gender is concerned. If a genderfluid lesbian is most comfortable labeling as a lesbian (regardless of their current gender status) that's none of your fucking business. They're entitled to their preferences the same as you are to yours. "I wouldn't date someone like that, it'd cause me dysphoria/discomfort/ect or make me feel invalidated" okay, that's completely okay. Don't invalidate or cause discomfort or dysphoria on those people then. If two people are comfortable in their identities and care for each other, it's not your place to police their relationship with each other. It's not hurting other gays if two people who identify as gay but have contradicting gender identities love each other. That is a good thing actually? People caring for each other despite or bc of their differences and finding solidarity and comfort in each other regardless of labels, whilst still acknowledging and identifying with them. People can (but don't have to) change their labels when they're dating someone. Wasn't the whole point to break down the barriers of who is and isn't allowed to date each other based on arbitrary standards or gender boundaries. This is about consenting adults who love each other.

People are allowed to exist as being simultaneously mlm and wlw, nonbinary and other gendered people can and do form relationships with heteros and that's okay. Someone can be gay in one aspect and straight in another. Dykes have been boyfriends to girls only for years. Fags have been girlfriends to other boys for years. Transmascs and lesbians have loved and supported each other for years. And yes, dated too.

When you say gender is complex, when you say sexuality and orientation is complex, do you mean it? Or are you just saying that with a side of "When it fits these boundaries obviously"?

I mean it. Questioning people, genderweird and dual people deserve the same respect as any other queer people.

This post includes aces and aros who date and form qprs, and this all also applies to them. It's people's own business what relationships they form in regards to their identities.

[gay-otlc]

People on this webbed site have their brains explode when we try to talk about how trans men of any sexuality are oppressed, so I genuinely do not think your brains could handle it if I said the Scary Privileged Straight Men ™ are oppressed, but at some point we're gonna need to talk about how your "ewww straight man" jokes directed at trans men is genuinely just TERF rhetoric.

[chronicallylav3nd3r]

transhets are still part of the lgbtq community :]

you can’t exclude transhets just because they’re straight :]

[mikumanifesto]

Well uh shit guess I'm a manic I've been doing this my whole life.

it's ok, ur still allowed on my blog 👍