sASSy

My humor has been distorted and I love this website for it. I'm obsessed with makeup, but you won't see much evidence of that. Dogs are great too, you WILL see evidence of that.

[mcavoy]

A Charlie Brown Christmas dir. Bill Melendez 

[twister]

“That’s the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they’re not much to look at, or even if they’re sort of stupid, you fall in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can.”

— J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye (via coral)

[bisexualpiratequeen]

Once a boy looked very sadly at me after a little bit of conversation. ‘you’re so smart’ he said, ‘I feel like I couldn’t keep up’. And then he did that sad boy face where you’re supposed to agree to tone yourself down. So I said ‘probably’ and fucked his mate.

[bisexualpiratequeen]

some top advice from a slut, here, 90% of the time when some boy looks sad and tells you you’re too ‘x’ to keep up with it’s a ploy to get you to cut bits off yourself so you can come down to his mediocre level; instead, agree with him and fuck his mate

[missvoltairine-blog]

I am a slut Wen on a dayte With Boye who would Manipulate I’m not sway’d by His saddened state- I say okay I fuck his mayte

[bisexualpiratequeen]

The only good addition to this post

[faggottt]

I am such a “huh” ass bitch. Lmao i got bad hearing sorry

[twitblr]

[trashboat]

[veryfunnymemes]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[justjavis]

@wellsfargo

[stability]

[theinturnetexplorer]

Who wouldn’t want to sit with a baby crocodile for a bit?

[speciesofleastconcern]

crocodiles confirmed for cuter than human babies

[beggars-opera]

double confirmed

[srsfunny]

Lynx Is No Longer Alone

[tsrgifs]

[skammmed-deactivated20170310]

fun fact: my parents got married on april fools day so when i was 7 i tried to be funny and i made them an anniversary card that said ‘your marriage is a joke’ and my mom cried

[weepycat]

we’ve started feeding this tortoiseshell-point siamese recently. she’s beautiful, aside from the fact she has disturbingly big, bulging blue eyes. we’ve started calling her… ‘goop’

[weepycat]

it’s goop!

[weepycat]

GUESS WHO HAD GOOPLETS! SIX ENTIRE BABIES! mama goop held onto her gooplings for an entire week longer than she had to, so the gooplitos came out very well done and fluffy!!

[robotjiji-deactivated20190529]

LIL GOOPS

[weavemama]

cat hate is just so…….. embarrassing

[moontxt]

people who hate cats for being “cold” or “mean” never learned emotional intelligence or depth and think that love is only expressed by being submissive and unconditionally obedient

[catchymemes]

This dog was depressed for 2 years after his best friend died, but then this duck showed up

[pakistaniheaux]

heart: randomly starts beating faster me: what is it what do you see

[humoristics]

Giving credit to those who do what we don’t want to

credit