Mikeβs fear of saying I love you to El is very layered and so complex and I genuinely donβt understand how people jump to the most unrelated conclusions (to prove their fanon interpretation of him ofc) instead of just realizing what the showβs been telling and showing us the entire time about Mikeβs character.
To start off, I just want to say that I donβt think he was consciously avoiding saying it at first. It was more of a defense mechanism that developed when the long distance started. Thatβs why he was so taken aback during that s4 fight with her. He was surprised she had even noticed it because he himself was unconsciously avoiding it ever since the fated day of El telling him she loves him back and then leaving town. In s3, He did try to explain his feelings hoping that sheβd understand what heβs talking about in that supermarket scene (and now we know that she did understand and was totally messing with him which makes this scene even funnier).
1. Mikeβs biggest fear canonically is losing El so this is one of the main reasons for him being afraid to say it. Every single time he takes some big step, he ends up losing her right after. Admitting that he likes her and kissing her only for her to disappear in s1, them finally getting together but then Hopper getting in between them and causing El to dump him in s3 (which he argues is just a break not a break up lmao), him finding out she actually did hear his βI love her and I canβt lose her againβ outburst and then leaving for Lenora right after. He always ends up losing her., one way or another.
2. As Mike explained, he feels like heβs not good enough for her. He believes that he was just lucky enough to be the one to find her and if she realized that, sheβll realize that heβs just some nerd who doesnβt deserve her and he will lose her again but also emotionally this time. This is Mikeβs most human and relatable emotion of all (to me at least), heβs afraid of laying it all out on the table and then getting hurt. He believes that if he doesnβt fully admit to his feelings then he can play them off as nbd and it wouldnβt hurt as bad when (in his opinion) El eventually realizes she doesnβt actually need nor want him and leaves him.
3. Mike is just not good at expressing his feelings. We see it multiple times throughout the show. He couldnβt express in words to El that he liked her so he kissed her instead, his rebellious stage to deal with his grief over losing El, he started kicking and hitting and screaming at Hopper for keeping El from him in probably the only outburst of that magnitude weβve ever seen from him, the βblank makes you crazyβ scene.
4. Unlike Lucas whoβs very logical, Mikeβs very emotional but heβs action oriented rather than verbally expressive. Mikeβs love language is acts of service. Thatβs why heβs so confident and point blank when he argues back βI say itβ in that bedroom fight. He does say it A LOT and very loudly tooβ¦just not in words as much.
5. Mike believes that people will only like/want him if they need him. Heβs always taken such a leadership role and taken care of and supported his friends and El that he doesnβt know anything else. The van talk with Will reinforced that because Will is basically telling him that yes, he is the heart so El and the party will always need him. I see how this could reassure Mike in that moment for the short term but on the long run, itβs just kind of a toxic way of thinking and feeding into his insecurities. This boy honestly needs therapy because this is all just too much for any person to deal with, let alone a teenager who already has trouble expressing his emotions.
6. His momβs obvious disdain for his dad. Mike also clearly doesnβt think that highly of him either while he does rely on his mom for emotional support. Growing up with that type of βrole modelβ for a relationship wouldnβt exactly fill any teenager with confidence to healthily express their emotions.
Mike Wheeler has been misunderstood for too damn long in this fandom and it breaks my heart because I do relate to him so much.
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