My roots are grown but I don't know where they are

Sometimes I attempt to be funny on my Twitter

[smalltownboymp3]

[luisonte]

Coño don limpio

[glitterhoney2]

mr clean off the shits

[lesbianralzarek]

am fascinated by the implication that this person thinks that a backflip clean out of his pants and onto a swing would be easier

[lystring]

[freetheshit-outofyou]

[russiansandgod]

[funeralmarketsuperstore-deactiv]

please serve her she is very hungry she walked an hour just to get here she has 8 children

[communistbussy]

they’re just confirming that she wants 4

[memeuplift]

[commongayboy-deactivated2018082]

Them: your fave is problematic Me: I want to see the receipts Them: *hands me the receipts* Me:

[meme-theft]

[65-percent-puns]

PLEASE TURN YOUR SOUND ON

[kinkshaming-butler]

MOTHER LET ME FIGHT

[anachronic-cobra]

I’ve never seen the long version of this video before

[mothmanismyuncle]

mother i wish to throw hands. mother. moTHER—

[cipheramnesia]

1 800 R U SLAPPIN

[alexandriad]

woman yelling at cat meme but make it ancient greek red figure pottery

[swirling-orbs-of-disorder]

From ancient to abstract, this one sure got around.

Japanese one made no sense to me until I finally saw the “sale sale/sasa lele” version. セール　セール。 But then it’s a meme so it has to be misspelled?  🤷‍♂️

[ghostsandgoblins]

[tendie-defender]

The hero we don’t deserve.

[stimman3000]

honestly 2017 has been such a ride that the pentagon just admitted they had a ufo department and the head of it says they found aliens and I’m just like “hm. okay I guess”

[keepingupwiththecullens]

the Cullens: Who is the most emo one?

[hugo-cumboss-deactivated2017092]

[wormspeddler]

one time when i was like 6-7 i was hanging out with a friend on one of these 

and he told me a joke so funny (god i wish i could remember) that i lost control and pissed myself. but i was on the up side and so my pee stream trickled down and wet his pants and i couldnt stop laughing as i watched it happened. even when he noticed i had peed his pants and got off, sobbing, i couldnt stop cackling. i hit the ground and rolled off, giggling and probably still pissing myself. i peed someone else’s pants…. i never saw that kid again. sorry kid.

[terrapincentury-deactivated2018]

thank you for sharing your story

[agentromanoffsir]

some carrie fisher tweets to brighten your day

[pbmc77]

[fckin-deactivated20171107]

so when are men gonna realize that women aren’t complicated and we’re actually just normal people and it’s men that lack emotional depth and interesting personalities?

[leatheresque-deactivated2018010]

Yeah….. Except I’m an emotional man with tons of depth. I speak 5 languages and play every instrument known. I can build a house. I can plant a garden. I know a little bit about everything.

Maybe women really are cunts who just seek to destroy men and invalidate them?

[fckin-deactivated20171107]

i have no idea how to reply to this cause it’s simply just the funniest thing i’ve ever read and nothing will ever top it