It’s admirable they are at least giving the flies a fighting chance.

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@milk4fun
It’s admirable they are at least giving the flies a fighting chance.
a gallon of milk but with this kind of cap:
quick suggestion
let me raise you an idea ive been keeping for years, just for this moment
The unholy trinity.
do people actually read books while in the bathtub
how do you not get everything wet
why is this making me laugh so fucking hard
THANK YOU FOR ADDING A VISUAL OMG
whomstever invented potatoes?? u went the FUCK off bitch!
Friend at the club: Don’t fucking text him
Me, drunk, having already pressed send:
me: i want to have sex
someone: just go out and have a one night stand with someone it’s not that hard
me and my emotional monogamy craving ass:
can someone please edit a horse to make it look less horrible
hows this?
man what the fuck
this is actually my child…
me putting $10 of gas in my car: drink up you stupid bitch
………open the gate.
stop……having it be closed
Whats the story of you sleeping with a professor, like how did that happen?
So basically…I was taking this class called Fitness Theory and Practice. It was for a PE credit or something. There were three instructors and I just so happened to be assigned to his section of the class. As the semester went on, he and I would sort of crack jokes at each other. He was about 33, I think? So, he was pretty hip with the times and like, obviously in shape and shit (he teaches a fitness class). Eventually, I was like, “You said you do personal training, yeah? Can we like, make that a thing?” And he was like, “Yeah, fa show. Put your digits in my cellular.” So one night, he texted me and was like, “I’m about to go to the gym. Come with.” And I told him I couldn’t cause I had this health project I had to finish or something. So he says, “Bring your stuff, come to the gym with me, then come to my place after and we can work on your project.” At that point, I was like….this is weird, right? But I do anyway cause I’m a hoe. We get to his place and he’s like, “Where do you wanna start?” And I was just like, “I don’t even know. I have this project, then your project for your class, then a Bio test next week. You don’t just wanna give me an A on your project so I can work on my other stuff?” Y’all….he goes, “That’s fine.” El oh el. I was like, “Wait, what?” Then he goes, “Let’s finish your health project then we can study for your Bio test.” At this point, I’m like, is this dude a homo? Why is this happening? So, I decide to push it. I go, “It’s already hella late, I don’t know what we’re gonna get done.” He goes, “You can sleep here. We’ll study until we can’t and you can crash so you don’t have to drive to your place.” By now, I’m like, Oh… Def gay. So, because I’m me, I say, “Then I’d have to sleep on a couch and that just does not sound ideal…” He laughed and goes, “No you won’t.”
Then we had sex.
“But I do anyway cause I’m a hoe.”
This has way too many notes.