...And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.

[vyky]

[bahari-official]

blood work? i sure hope it does

[evilalicorn]

[wowwforever]

I hate that ‘bad dream’ just means ‘nightmare’ instead of ‘shitty quality dream.’ I had a bad dream last night. It wasn’t scary it just didn’t make a lot of narrative sense

[pearlywhirlyswirly]

I miss when it was “that’s photoshopped” instead of “that’s ai”

[fromhersoul]

[weaponised--soul]

Dr. John Shen send tweet

[nohoperadio]

just saw a pigeon doing the puffed up courtship dance thing to another pigeon, and as he was strutting around he suddenly stopped for a split second to do a very brief preen-peck at his own side, then returned to the strutting around. and i surprised myself by instantly losing respect for the male pigeon in that moment, like come on man i appreciate you had an itch or whatever but how is she supposed to feel special when you're getting distracted by bullshit like that? which on reflection i don't endorse, i mean those are pretty harsh dating norms i'm imposing on these pigeons, from a total outsider perspective, for no reason. probably not all girl pigeons are as uptight about that sort of thing as i would apparently be if i was a girl pigeon, maybe she even found it endearing who knows, i don't know her. it's none of my business really. sorry pigeons.

[bob-belcher]

Parks and Recreation, Summer Catalog (S02E20)

[dikdikpronouncedxylophone]

The most terrifying part of having memory issues is when you can feel something from 5 seconds ago be thrown out the window and there's an empty hole where it once was. You remember that you forgot something.

[syn4k]

[bytedykes]

[ID: Notification window that says "You forgot something." There's an "Ok" button at the bottom. /end ID]

[anik]

i love this guy

[i-am-the-oyster]

[achillesinhighheels]

sorry i can’t go out tonight i’m at home sitting down

[wizardarchetypes]

one time when I was a barista I was telling my coworker that I suddenly really missed cows. I used to work with cows all the time back home and then I moved away and suddenly it had been four years and nary a cow.

15 minutes later this old guy came up to the counter with his address written on a napkin & he said “me and my wife have a whole herd of dexters and a couple of new calves. come on over any time”

so after work I was like ok fuck it & I drove to the address and I parked at the gate & I walked down the driveway to the barn and this woman was like “oh my husband told me you might stop by! come see our cows” and she introduced me to every single cow. made my whole week.

thank you cow couple

[byjove]

The masculine urge to become a mountain man. Only come off the mountain twice a year to get supplies. Farm and harvest and hunt and build everything else. Talk to myself constantly. Stop coming into town for a few years after the age of 76. The sheriff finally comes up to check on me and finds the door to my shack wide open and my skeletonized body lying in bed, tucked up under the covers. They all forgot my name so they just put ‘Mountain Man’ on my tombstone. Shack left to decay but I’m not quite done having fun. My ghost lures lost hikers in and makes them keep me company. They come off the mountain rambling about the crazy old man in the hand hewn log cabin with fire in his eyes and leaves on the floor. I was alone in life but I don’t want to be lonely in death.

[byjove]

Whew guys sorry about that! Had a funny turn for a moment. Back to normal now.

[byjove]

You’re partially correct. This needs a gay subplot.

I was in love with another mountain man who lived on the other side of the mountain. We both liked being alone but sometimes it was alright to be alone together. His arthritis got bad and he couldn’t chop wood for himself anymore. Eventually his niece came to take him to the big city and put him in a nursing home. He didn’t want to go. I never saw him again. That’s why I died alone in my bed and not his.

[byjove]

If you asked Todd, he would know my name. 93 years old, blind as a bat with arthritis so bad he can’t move his fingers, rotting away in that horrible place his niece put him. He’d know. A smile would come to his dry lips to think of me, his fellow mountain man. He can no longer see but in his mind he sees me the way I was, in overalls with my rifle over my shoulder hunting squirrels. He knows my name but he dares not speak it. The words on my grave a more worthy epitaph. I wait for him on the mountain. None of the hikers that stumble in are ever him. He’ll return shortly, I’m sure. I’ll make him coffee on the wood stove one day. We’ll share some venison. He’ll come back from the holler. I know he will.

[byjove]

[targetedknowledge]

[frankiesogbullshit]

someone tell OP i did it, i spent about 3 hours on it

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

One flag to rule them all

[nonlynear]

time is a flat iron and brother i’m getting smooth as fuck

[cephalopodie]

time is a curling iron and brother i'm all twisted up

[teaboot]

Time is a flat iron, smooth as fuck Time is a curler, twisted up Time is an updo, pinned and tucked Time is a weave-in, stitched and stuck Time is organic, shaped by luck Time is a construct Monster truck

[april]

ⓘ Tip You can skip part of the day by taking a nap.

[iwantadamusername]

⚠︎ Tip

Nap lengths are always randomised.