[maxencesnewshirt]

[sunshineyou]

cr: parlons_d_autre_chose

[polaris-37480]

Definition of sweetness 🖤✨

[el-demaury]

[milofuckedup]

📷

[milofuckedup]

nxtehqs·:

“do you think you could fix me?” he snorted. it was supposed to come off as a joke, hence the soft laugh that escaped his lips, but there was most definitely a hidden meaning behind his words. everyone knew nate needed someone to straighten him out. keep him sane. and nate definitely believed that milo could do that. but it seemed that every time himself and milo even came close to even considering a relationship, something seemed to ruin it. he hated how milo’s mood immediately changed, but nate was equally as angry with him. he could feel his heart dropped to his stomach in an instant. “i mean as in talking talking, milo. like flirting or whatever. being with each other like how we are…,” nate sighed, shrugging a little. he scrunched up his face then, scoffing a little. “are you….are you actually serious right now? did you or did you not tell me during the camping trip that you liked me too? did you or did you not kiss me? did you or did you not fucking tell me that you liked how things were going with me? did you or did you not spend the fucking night with me, milo? was that not basically a promise to me? did that not mean anything?” he frowned deeply, dropping his phone down and crossing his arms over his chest. “doesn’t matter that you guys didn’t do anything. it’s what you said. that’s what i’m pissed about,” he rolled his eyes. his following words resulted in the color disappearing from nate’s face. he looked away for a few moments, shaking his head a little. of course he found out. not that it meant much anyways. he stood up too, arms still crossed over his chest. “okay. so i slept with rion. but that was before you and i talked. it was literally at the start of the week. and it was just us messing around. it didn’t mean shit. god forbid i had some fucking fun with someone. and at the time, as far as i was concerned, you and i weren’t on speaking terms so why does it fucking matter?” he narrowed his eyes at him. “and the tanner thing…i was drunk. out of it drunk. i hardly even remember it. but it meant nothing either. it’s not as if i was telling him i was fucking falling for him or some shit so…what’s your point?”

His eyebrows furrowed, flirting. He had never been flirting with anyone. He had been a friend to his best friends, and he had never seen that as a bad thing, until everyone in his life seemed to turn around and tell him that he was leading them on. It was infuriating. “No nate, I never been with her like I have been with you, that isnt what we are.. we are FRIENDS” his voice was unapologetically loud now. “I didnt know she had feelings for me, I didnt mean to lead her on. Did I have a crush on her, sure.. but why the fuck would that matter when what I clearly stated that what I wanted was you” he was angrier than he had ever been. He had let his guard down, assumed that things were going somewhere with Nate. He had gone out of his comfort zone, he had pursued nate, gone after him, because Nate was what he wanted. “you have NO right to be pissed, absolutely none.” his voice didnt crack, didnt break, his stutter didnt betray him, his rage fueled him. “I didnt do anything wrong, I didnt lead you on, I didnt lie to you, and I didnt lie to her. I didnt tell her I wanted to be with her, I told YOU that” the veins in his neck were prominent as his voice continued to increase in volume. “you know what I cant control? who likes me, do you want to know what I can control? How I fucking act about it” he shook his head, taking a few steps back, he wanted out of this house, wanted away from Nate. His eyes betrayed him, he found strength, but with it came the familiar sting of tears he couldnt control. The sound of his admittance was too much for Milo to handle. “why does it fucking matter?” he retorted, his tone filled with confusion at how that sentence could even be said in this context. It mattered more than anything else. “It matters because you didnt think to tell me about it, because you at the FIRST FUCKING SIGHT of conflict slept with someone else..” he shook his head and with it let the tears in his eyes recede back into his tear ducts, not now, not in this moment would he give Nate the satisfaction of being so upset. “We had NEVER fucking fought before, NEVER NATE” he was yelling. “and you were ready to fucking jump ship, sleep with the person you are now accusing me of what playing you with?” His hands went up and he looked around. “if you cared about me at all, the last thing on your mind would be fucking around with someone else” he shook his head. “you want to know where I was while you were ‘too drunk’ to keep your fucking hands to yourself? FOUR DOORS DOWN” his blue eyes were red hot with rage. “I NEVER FUCKING TOLD HER I WAS FALLING FOR HER, DONT FUCKING PUT WORDS IN MY MOUTH” he couldnt even look at him, his jaw locked so hard his teeth started to ache. 

[milofuckedup]

📷

[milofuckedup]

🎵

How did we get so dark? - Royal Blood  How did I become a lookalike of someone you used to love? Someone you used to love. So dark. How did something so sweet tear us apart? Oh, on a sinking ship with a heavy heart. How did we get so dark? Nobody warned you, the tables would turn, and I could have told you, everything you've learnt would burn to dust. Now there's no one you can trust, just someone you used to love

Hurt - Oliver Tree  My day will come, I gave too much, I sold my soul, I'm waiting for my pay in full. My only one, your dying love, I've seen enough, I tried but, I don't think so, maybe it was me who was fucking up. I gave all I could give but, it seems like it never really was enough. I feel left out, I don't see how my whole life can change in one week. I don't mind my own reflection, I don't see how, you've been let down.

Are you bored yet? - Wallows  What's wrong? You've been asking but I don't have an answer. How come? I'm still thinking, let's pretend to fall asleep now. When we get old, will we regret this? Too young to think about all that shit and stallin' only goes so far when you've got a head start. 'Cause we could stay at home and watch the sunset but I can't help from asking, "Are you bored yet?" And if you're feeling lonely you should tell me, before this ends up as another memory. Will you tell the truth so I don't have to lie?

Colder Parts - HUNNY  Are you still human under all that glow. Or am I the only one? Chalk it up to bad timing and sticking around. We're trading our worn out hearts now for colder parts. Will we end up dancing alone? Head over heels for watches and wires. I don't intend on selling my soul. You wanna set my dirty hair on fire. You're gonna stop my hurting. Yeah, life's hard.

To Be So Lonely - Harry Styles Don't blame me for fallin', I was just a little boy. Don't blame the drunk caller wasn't ready for it all. You can't blame me, darling, not even a little bit. I was away and I'm just an arrogant son of a bitch who can't admit when he's sorry. Don't call me "baby" again, you got your reasons, I know that you're tryna be friends, I know you mean it, but don't call me "baby" again. It's hard for me to go home be so lonely

[milofuckedup]

nxtehqs·:

he smiled against his lips, loving how natural it felt, how it ignited passion. it just felt good. it felt like he was supposed to be kissing milo. when they were finally sitting down, nate’s free hand slipped under the table and gently rested on milo’s knee comfortingly. he really really liked this. “oh..i’m so sorry. if you ever need a hand with anything, i don’t mind visiting? i may not be much help, i’m not really much of a maintenance man,” he shrugged a little, figuring it wouldn’t hurt to at least offer. besides, any excuse for milo to be reminded what nate looks like shirtless and sweaty and tense is perfectly okay with him. he smiled softly at how milo’s hand rested on him. he chuckled. “i don’t mind being stuck with you, milo. i thought i made that pretty clear when we were in the woods,” he hummed. as his phone went off, he lifted it and replied within seconds, furrowing his eyebrows a little at the texts from rion mentioning milo. his hands slowly lifted from milo’s knee as he typed a reply. he fell silent for few moments as milo set up the game. a soft sigh escaped his lips. “milo….can i ask you something? and you have to promise to be honest? because i’m really fucking fed up with this being brought up….,” he shifted a little in his seat, not giving milo a second to respond before he continued. “are you still talking to rion? like….according to her, after our talk at the camping trip, you told her you liked her? right after you told me you liked me,” he glanced back at his phone. “and you didn’t make any promises to me? after everything we talked about? after spending the night together? what the fuck is that about?”

Milo smirked at the comment, Nate knew exactly what he was doing, the moment the offer was out in the air, Milo was pink in the cheeks, thinking about Nate fixing up his home, painfully attractive as he worked. “thank you, but I think Ive got it, been fixing up shit holes for longer than I can remember” he stated, his eyes not on Nate but instead still fixing up the board. His smile bright and evident as the words left his partners lips, nothing sweeter than feeling wanted one of the few times in his life. He missed the touch the moment his hands were no longer on him, but he didnt want to seem too needy, didnt want to ask for him to put his phone away and pay attention to him, no matter how badly he wanted that to be the case. He was about to answer when Nate just continued speaking, Milos face crumpled for a moment before going dark, all the color draining from his face. Maybe the rumors were true, why were Nate and Rion texting? He had spent enough time with the both of them to know that each others names rarely made it to the top of the list of people they responded to with such urgency. 

“what do you mean am I still talking to Rion? of course I am, shes my friend, Why wouldnt I be?” he asked, his blood already starting to run cold, his eyebrows furrowed. “I told her the truth, that I am not dating anyone, she asked if I was promising things to other people, and I said no.. because I hadnt promised anything to you, nor did you ask me to.” It was clear now, the gossip blog was full of shit, but at least they got one thing right, the one thing he chose to ignore. “why are you asking about what I said.. do you want to know what I did? Absolutely nothing, I put her to bed during the storm and slept on the floor..” he bit his lip, he wanted to stop this, wanted to derail himself already, but he felt the anger rising up in his chest. “do you want to know what you did? Because I do..” he stood up, no longer able to even sit close enough to be touched by him, to be diffused by his touch. “I thought tanner was full of shit, I thought the gossip blog was full of shit. But youre really coming at me, about something I said, to a friend, who was hurting.” he took a moment and let his jaw clench “while you, in that same bed that you held me, slept with two other people.. one of them being one youre questioning me about now” 

[milofuckedup]

Send a 🎵 and I'll make our muses a playlist.

[rcsethcrna]

send 📷 for a post of your muse on my muse’s instagram

[milofuckedup]

paigebradley·:

– “ARE YOU A SLUT?” SHE ASKS, a slight arch of her brow. she doesn’t think he is, at least, that doesn’t sound like the milo that she used to know, but she thinks the answer to the question might be at least a little amusing. paige pauses for a moment, watching his facial expression break, and sometimes she wishes she were like him ; so readily wearing emotions on his face, FEELING and letting himself feel. “ fair enough, ” she surmises, but she’s actually surprised ?! if anything, paige didn’t think that cutting him out of her life would hurt him at all, she figured she was shouldering all the hurt on herself because, well, she didn’t really think he’d CARE that much. so, she furrows her brow, trying to read the emotions on his face. “ you don’t owe me anything, obviously, and god knows i’m not the sort of person people go to for advice, ” she laughs, selecting a pack of twizzlers and placing it on the counter with the slushie. she opens the bag before paying, leaning on the counter as she puts one of the twizzlers between her teeth, holding the bag out to milo as if she’s offering him one. “ i don’t hate you, you know. and i hope whatever you want works out for you. ” 

The question almost knocked the air out of him. His brows furrowed and he took a small moment to recollect himself. “if you think I could be, you clearly dont know me as well as I thought you did.” he was propped up by his elbows on the counter, watching her open things he wasnt going to make her pay for. There was like an unwritten rule, if he was working, almost anything was fair game. She was looking through him, like she could see every cog in his brain turn. It made him uneasy but there was nothing he could do about it, it was how she always had been. He took a twizzler and put it between his teeth, pulling on the rope and chewing as she continued to speak. He was unsure of what to say, if she didnt hate him, why did she leave? Why did she stop texting him, or making time for him, or even answering the door when he came around? It didnt make sense, but he didnt want to hear the answer, now fearing something far worse than hate was what had made her leave. That she had once pitied him, taken him in as a stray and decided he was too much, releasing him out into the unforgiving wild. “I dont know what I want.. I never have, and I dont know if I ever will” he finished off the twizzler in his hand and moved back. “you know I am not going to make you pay for this stuff..” he said with the faintest hint of a smile. 

[milofuckedup]

black cherry neapolitan raspberry truffle

black cherry: four words that describe you? tiresome, awkward, kind, aloof

neapolitan: things that stress you out? the shorter list would be what doesnt stress me out, but for now lets just say everything, human contact, lack of human contact, books that havent reached their conclusion with a suspiciously low number of pages left, stepping on cracks, eating before I swim, the general existential dread. 

raspberry truffle: favorite kind of music? Probably indie? if thats what you call it? stuff with good instrumental and weird lead vocals. 

[kotsume]

ice cream asks

[warm-suggestions]

chocolate: when was your first kiss?

french vanilla: how old are you?

cotton candy: three places you want to travel to?

strawberry: a language you wish you could speak?

coffee: favorite cosmetic brands?

mint chocolate chip: indoors or outdoors?

cookie dough: do you play any instruments?

rocky road: favorite songs at the moment?

butter pecan: favorite songs for life?

cheesecake: what’s your zodiac sign?

toasted coconut: the beach or the pool?

chocolate chip: what’s your most popular post?

bubblegum: books or movies?

pistachio: manga or anime?

salted caramel: favorite movies?

birthday cake: favorite books?

moose tracks: favorites for manga?

orange sherbet: favorites for anime?

peanut butter: favorite academic subject?

black raspberry: do you have any pets?

mango: when and why did you start your blog?

mocha: ideal weather conditions?

black cherry: four words that describe you?

neapolitan: things that stress you out?

raspberry truffle: favorite kind of music?

chocolate marshmallow: favorite brands of candy?

toffee: a card game that you’re good at?

lemon custard: do you eat breakfast?

dark chocolate: turn ons?

fudge: turn offs?

peach: how do you relax?

praline: a popular book you haven’t read yet?

superman: do you like sweaters?

cherry: do you drink tea or coffee?

dulce de leche: an instrument you wish you could play?

blackberry: have you ever laughed so hard you cried?

ginger: a new feature you wish tumblr could have?

blueberry lemon: favorite blogs?

almond: favorite mean girls quote?

butterscotch: what color are your nails right now?

cinnamon: have you ever been confessed to?

blue moon: have you ever had a crush on someone?

cappuccino crunch: do you take naps?

mint: the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?

brownie batter: do you like sushi?

key lime: where do you want to be right now?

red velvet: do you wear prescription glasses?

green tea: favorite flavors of ice cream?

[milofuckedup]

nxtehqs·:

nate wasn’t going to let milo sit just yet, no. he had to hold him first. hold him. remind him of his feelings for him. he smiled fondly at the other, chuckling softly at his words. he loved the heat from his touch and how naturally nate’s hand fit against his cheek. “surely it’s not that good if i’ve never played…,” nate joked, shrugging just a little. truth be told, he was a total board game geek and had in fact played before but he figured it would be amusing to lead milo to believe otherwise. for now, until he won. a sigh of relief escaped past his lips as their foreheads pressed together, as if he’d been waiting for this moment. he let them stay like that for a few moments. any thoughts regarding milo with rion or luna or whoever else was pushed aside. that damn gossip blog didn’t know anything. nate knew that milo liked him and that was all that mattered. besides, the blog was only clinging onto old news. as long as they didn’t mention nate with rion or tanner, he was okay. a little nervous, but far too in the moment, nate drew a finger up just under milo’s chin, lifting his head up towards him. “sure,” he murmured, leaning forward and pressing their lips together gently for just a few moments.perhaps he lingered them that little longer but not enough to make his anxiety get the best of him. he pulled away with a small, shy smile and sat down then, glancing to the game. “so what have you been up to this week? we’ve barely spoken. i was a little worried you’d changed your mind about me again…,” nate chuckled.

As their lips connected there was never anything that could stop him from feeling so good. No rumor, or news, or words that could take away how good Nate felt as he held him, as he kissed him. Milo returned the kiss softly, his eyes remaining shut for a moment after Nate finally pulled away. It took a second for his brain to kick back on, for thoughts to cohesively form. “wh..what” he asked shaking his head as if it would magically get the thoughts to form. “sorry..” he stated biting his lip and sitting down at the spot he had pulled out for him. “Not much..” he finally sputtered out, pulling out the two boards and sorting white pegs from red ones. “worked a lot, been fixing the trailer, we came home to a foot of water and broken windows.. so I have been doing repairs..” he handed out the ships and let his fingers rest on the top of Nates other hand. He had never been good at initiating contact, but he wanted to try, wanted to show that he was making an effort, no matter how minute the results. “wha..me?” he asked, the prospect of him losing interest being almost laughable, even though he had heard a few things that should have made this conversation much different. “no.. sadly youre stuck with me Sinclair” he said with a small smile. “what about you.. do anything fun?” 

[milofuckedup]

FMK: nate, rion, luna

“I am pretty sure all of them wouldnt come within a fifty mile radius of me at this point, so I dont know why I would even speculate. Plus as the gossip blog loves to point out, Im probably shit in bed anyway.” 

[milofuckedup]

hudscnfm·:

          the  thought  of  his  best  friend  and  his  brother  felt  strange,  an  odd  thought  to  turn  over  inside  of  his  mind.  hudson  couldn’t  say  he  was  a  fan  of  the  pair,  but  that  was  only  because  he  didn’t  trust  his  brother  —  he  couldn’t  imagine  trusting  him  with  his  best  friend.  and  the  words  that  spilled  from  milo  only  proved  him  right.  when  milo  fell  against  his  shoulder,  he  lifted  the  hand  from  his  side  to  his  friend’s  head  and  held  him.  his  whole  body  felt  like  it  was  shaking,  with  despair  for  milo  and  anger  at  his  brother.  milo  sobbing  against  his  shoulder  was  all  that  kept  him  rooted  in  place,  from  bolting  out  to  find  nate  where  ever  he  was  and  show  him  that  there  are  consequences  to  your  actions.  as  much  as  hudson  wished  he  could  go  find  his  brother,  he  could’t  bring  himself  to  leave  milo  like  this,  not  when  he  needed  hudson  the  most.

     when  milo  pulled  away,  hudson  kept  his  hand  on  the  side  of  his  head  and  stopped  him  from  pulling  away  too  far.  milo  may  not  realize  it,  but  he  was  as  much  of  an  anchor  for  hudson  as  he  hoped  he  was  for  milo.  “ nate  is  selfish.  he  has  a  good  heart,  and  he  can  fool  you  with  it,  but  in  the  end  he’s  playing  a  two - player  game  in  his  mind  —  him  against  the  world.  he’ll  always  make  moves  that  benefit  him,  even  if  he  hurts  someone  else. ”  hudson  swallowed  and  shook  his  head.  “ i  just  …  i  wish  i  could  have  warned  you  about  that. ”  he  dropped  his  hand  from  milo’s  head  and  sighed,  a  deep-rooted  guilt  aching  inside  of  him.  he  didn’t  hold  it  against  milo  for  not  telling  him,  he  understood  in  ways  milo  couldn’t  fathom,  but  he  still  wished  he  had.  wished  milo  had  given  him  a  chance  to  tell  him  to  run  and  not  look  back.  

     he  was  pulled  from  his  thoughts  by  milo’s  apologies,  unwarranted  and  heart - breaking.  “ no,  milo, ”  hudson  said  sternly,  pulling  his  best  friend’s  hands  from  his  face  so  he  could  look  at  him.  “ do  not  apologize.  none  of  this  is  your  fault.  you  were  not  foolish  to  fall  for  nate’s  charm  —  nate  was  wrong  to  do  any  of  this  to  you.  to  lead  you  along  and  give  you  hope  for  something  more  only  to  turn  around  and  rip  it  away. ”

The honey brunette had never had a friend like Hudson before, never had someone who truly listened to him, cared for him, never judged him or made him feel ashamed for his hang ups. He had spent so long in fear of telling his best friend this, of sharing the heartache and turmoil because they shared the same last name, had the same blood running through their veins. He had never had a sibling, he had imagined what it would be like to have one, and always lived with the proverb that blood was thicker than water. Milo was terrified that he would abandon him the moment he found out, and the reaction he was getting now made him feel foolish for ever thinking such things about him. He was sorry he had ever doubted his best friends loyalty to him, because if there was one word that he had to use to sum up Hudson, it would be that, loyal. His hand against his head was the only thing that was keeping him from imploding, from falling to pieces right there in the back yard. 

The words that Hudson used still felt harsh, no matter how much he hurt, and he fucking hurt, he didnt want to watch brother turn against brother for his sake. “hes a good person..I know that.. I just..” tears fell from his eyes without blinking, without him forcing them down his cheeks, they welled and spilled and he couldnt stop them “I just thought he cared about me, that I was some how different, or worth something..” his voice was betraying him, he sounded small and weak, exactly how he felt “I should have known better, I know what I am worth, I should have recognized..” he bit down on his lip and shook his head. He couldnt bare to look at him, it was all too overwhelming. Hudson was the only person he could trust like this, talk to like this, be honest with how he views himself. “I know I am just trailer trash who will amount to nothing.. I shouldnt have thought for a second I could be more..” he was falling into another fit of sobs when the apologies left his lips. 

Milo felt strong hands pull his digits away from his face, forced to be face to face with the other person who had always made him feel like he was more than that. Like he was a worthy friend, and person, that he could amount to something and mattered to someone. “It is Hudson, it is my fault.. I cried when we slept together two years ago.. I am awkward and I cant fucking translate my thoughts into anything useful” he let his blue eyes meet his best friends. “intimacy scares the shit out of me, and I couldnt give it to him.. I couldnt make my body work, and I couldnt make my wants known.. and he found that somewhere else..” he took in a shaky breath “I just dont know why it had to be them, my friends, people that mattered to me.. Its not just nate.. its not just what he did, its that he did it with them” he fell forward once more, sliding off the chair and onto his knees in front of Hudson, wrapping his arms around him.