Pro Milone

Things I like: Optimates, becoming consul, gang violence, killing Clodius

[milosuggestion]

Everyone knows I’m the most peaceful Roman on earth, but not gonna lie: Ceasar got what he deserved

[cicerosuggestion]

So…no one decided to include me in on the plan..not that I condone this violence, but-

[milosuggestion]

I would have loved to stab that bastard, had I been alive

[louisegluckpdf]

due to personal reasons i’m gonna get myself in fighting trim scope out every angle of unfair advantage i’m gonna bribe the officials i’m gonna kill all the judges it’s gonna take you people years to recover from all of the damage

[cicerosuggestion]

Well.

I did not kill Publius Clodius Pulcher….but I am glad that he’s dead.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[milosuggestion]

You’re also gonna help me tell them I didn’t either, right?

[thoodleoo]

bad classics paper ideas

odysseus wasn’t smart for coming up with the trojan horse, he was just really into vore

all myths involving zeus turning into animals to seduce lovers were actually just invented by a very religious sect of furries

when socrates said that he only knows that he knows nothing, he wasn’t being philosophical; he was actually just a dumbass but everyone thought he was being serious about it

julius caesar wasn’t assassinated for being a dictator, it was actually just that everyone was tired of getting cucked by him (which is a thing that happened with some frequency apparently)

the real reason that many ancient greek vases show faces in profile isn’t a stylistic choice or a limitation of the medium, it’s just that no greek artists wanted to have to try drawing the second eye

[sunshades]

It’s not that greek artists didnt want to draw the other eye, it’s that none of them had one. In this essay, that i have titled “Flat Ancient Greek Theory” i w

[thoodleoo]

wheres the fucking essay

[fluentisonus]

Today’s fun surprise was seeing puella translated as “whore”.

The other week it was seeing Fagles’ translation of Lacaena as “Spartan whore”

[thoodleoo]

concept: translations of cicero’s speeches against other romans, but done in the style of tumblr callout posts

[attenashe-deactivated20190606]

NOTICE: tumblr user publiusclodius is historically problematic af, don’t get fooled by anons acting like he’s the ‘victim’ just because he got ‘murdered’, t-annius-milo is an angel and 100% in the right and deserves all our support in this trying time.

[milosuggestion]

They know what’s up

[clodiussuggestion]

OPTIME! I am THRILLED to have SO MANY LOYAL CONSTITUENTS, and I am TAKING SUGGESTIONS ON HOW BEST TO CELEBRATE THIS LOYALTY!

[milosuggestion]

Maybe try going for a nice little stroll on the Via Appia, you’ll get my congratulations there

[clodiussuggestion]

NUNC MORERE

[milosuggestion]

Quis brevis caesum duorum erit?

[clodiussuggestion]

OPTIME! I am THRILLED to have SO MANY LOYAL CONSTITUENTS, and I am TAKING SUGGESTIONS ON HOW BEST TO CELEBRATE THIS LOYALTY!

[milosuggestion]

Maybe try going for a nice little stroll on the Via Appia, you’ll get my congratulations there

[clodiussuggestion]

@cicerosuggestion wait unblock me I need to tell you something

[cicerosuggestion]

://// w h a t

[clodiussuggestion]

BITCH

[cicerosuggestion]

aaaand #Blockt

[milosuggestion]

You go my little pea-nosed friend, block that bastard

[milosuggestion]

Guys, I might have accidentally killed a man; so does anyone know a good lawyer who isn’t afraid of a Clodian crowd?

[terpsikeraunos]

latin words for snakes

anguis: a serpent, snake; esp. in fable as an emblem: of terror, the snaky head of Medusa; of rage, the serpent-girdle of Tisiphone; of art and wisdom, the serpent-team of Medea

aspis: the asp, viper

coluber: a serpent, snake; of the Hydra; of Medusa; of Allecto

draco: a sort of serpent, a dragon; name of a constellation; in eccl. Lat., the Serpent, the Devil

hydrus: a water-serpent, serpent; or Hydros, the constellation of the Waterserpent, called also Anguis and Hydra

serpens: participle of serpo, a creeping thing, creeper, crawler, snake, serpent 

vipera: adder, snake, serpent, in gen.,—prov.: “in sinu viperam habere,” Cic. Har. Resp. 24, 50: “viperam nutricare sub alā,” to nourish a viper in one’s bosom

[milosuggestion]

Latin words for Clodius

[clodiussuggestion]

oh okay so when Caesar gets stabbed it’s a tragedy and and a whole thing and everyone remembers 2000 years later but when I get VIOLENTLY MURDERED on the ROAD MY ANCESTOR BUILT-

[milosuggestion]

To be fair, you had it coming