started raining while i was working at my favorite coffee shop :)
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started raining while i was working at my favorite coffee shop :)
tuesday | february 17
i wish i could travel back in time to see my miserable 14 year old self. i want to tell them that it all turns out okay – that i'm grown up and thriving and starting a phd in a field i'd never heard of at that age. that i learned how to live on my own terms and that i'm so much happier for it.
set one small boundary today. it doesn’t have to be dramatic, just make it yours
it's my neurology era ( prologue ).
Morning light finally reaching in!
feeling like an academic victim at this point of the semester :’))
This year has been so happening and so full I’ve barely had any time to catch up with it. Maybe that’s called living? I have yet to find out
Some shots from my day 🥛🎻if you like the vibe, check out my instagram here 🎮
recent purchases and pretty covers ✨
february mornings: iced latte in a mug, journaling, flipping through magazines. ☕️
Killing Eve reference, anyone? God I miss that show, or the thrill of waiting for what’s next at least. I tried a different cafe on this day, a hip looking one called Fuku. Another amazing find in Amsterdam. And then later in the day I got a paperback from this bookshop. It has the same name as a bookstore chain(?) I frequented in Sweden so I thought that was a fun coincidence. They stamped the title page for me when I checked it out, and I love that so much!! Layers of memories I get to keep in the pages of my book.
I can’t believe I found a Japanese copy of Butter by Asako Yuzuki at Book Off in Paris. I told my friend who read it last year that I would read it but I haven't gotten around to it (sorry T 💛) Outside, signs of Spring are sprouting. On a walk to a cafe, this pop of yellow really caught my attention. I took inspiration from that when I decorated my traveler's journal for this day.
The painting is The Bell by James Tissot which I hadn't focus on during my previous visits to the Musée d'Orsay but found myself totally enamored by this time around. It's so beautiful! The tail of the dress looks like it's popping out of the frame and coming to life!
filling my cup this weekend
second day of june
Genji is not a perfect person, but there’s a purity to him, a beauty that’s clearly meant to be lauded, particularly in contrast to later chapters. He’s in love with love, a true romantic, and his sometimes unwise affairs are motivated by a true sense of love. He never abandons one of his lovers, which in this time is crucial. No matter the shame it brings to himself, he tries to find a way to honor the women he’s fallen for. He’s charming. No one can not love him, or ultimately forgive him his faults.
The age of Tale of Genji had strict rules of romance—of how flirtations worked (largely intermediaries and poetry), of how commitments worked, of how aloof vs. present it was appropriate to be (it’s good to commit but bad to hoard or become jealous). It was possible to love too much. Genji is accused of this, but he always remembers to care for the people he is responsible for—once he grows up that is.
Early in the text, he neglects his wife, and he also neglects “the Rokujo lady.” The Rokujo lady becomes so jealous and enraged that her spirit begins to sicken his wife. This ghost returns more than once over the course of the text. She has grown sick from obsession and neglect, and Genji pays the price for it. It’s part of what motivates him to always care for the women he romances for the rest of his life.
Later, in the “Uji” chapters, young Kaoru and prince Niou also love too much. Niou is impulsive like Genji but also flighty, and Kaoru is serious like Genji but also obsessive. Both men pursue the women at Uji with insistence that the text can’t quite forgive as it could for Genji. Both, somehow, go too far—perhaps in their attempts to hoard, or in their impatience.
colours of the season
Shared pastries on the pavement in morning sun, a perfect autumn brunch