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Gina Ogden

"The care and feeding of sexual desire begins with knowing what we want, when to assert ourselves, and when to surrender and let go. This is the ultimate secret to great sex. It's the secret to a great life."

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Sexual expectations and disappointments

Energy is the essence of life. Every day you decide how you’re going to use it by knowing what you want and what it takes to reach that goal, and by maintaining focus.

OPRAH WINFREY

Shame has a biological function of keeping us from something harmful

The trauma vortex represents the activation of the sympathetic nervous system and the countervortex represents the soothing, healing thought or feeling which allows the nervous system to return to the homeostasis of social engagement. Just as a mountain climber uses ropes anchored to the mountain to keep from falling down the cliff, in Somatic Experiencing we use the draw of this pleasurable countervortex to anchor the client so they don't fall down the trauma vortex every time they get near to it. We will spend some time together experiencing the pleasurable, life affirming sensations and feelings, then let the system swing over to the draw of the life threatening situation, but then use the pull of the life affirming to draw back from the danger zone. This swinging back and forth is like the motion of a pendulum, so Dr. Levine called it 'pendulation.'

We need to learn to trust the messages our bodies are giving us. The symptoms are internal wake-up calls. Don’t be upset by the symptoms - be grateful that your body is sending you these messages that healing needs to happen.

This vortex, like a tornado draws you in and sucks you down if you get near to it. This is very much what it is like for people who have unresolved trauma. Anytime they get into a situation that closely resembles the trauma event they are in extreme danger of being sucked down into this trauma vortex.

When you’re in your head youre typically holding your breath

How to treat each other as lovers vs performing your marital duty?

Sex is not permitted in the presence of family so we learn to turn off our sexual feelings at home

Trauma is about loss of connection - to ourselves, our bodies, our families, to others, and to the world around us. It is often hard to recognize because it happens slowly over time

https://www.celesteanddanielle.com/erectile-dysfunction/

ED Resource

Love-Lust deilemma

Due to our sexual programming, the commitment to love itself can undermine sexual desire (Stella Resnick)

“When we look deeper at the body’s response to love & sexual feelings, we find that things get a bit complicated. Your response has to do with whether or not you learned to separate emotional attachment from sex, how secure or insecure you feel, how you deal with stress in a relationship, how comfortable you are in your own body, how playful you are about anything, how well informed you are about sex, and how skillful you are as a lover.” - Stella Resnick

“What’s important is not just how well we communicate verbally but also what two bodies are saying to each other when they’re together, whether the message is mentally registered or not.” - Stella Resnick

Pleasure is a great teacher. Especially when we are aware of the moment by moment experience of it.

#stella resnick

First it’s important to note that most people who have erectile issues are dealing with an issue relating to the mind and body.

To work on this issue, there is a process of letting things happen, rather than making them happen. Many men who are dealing with ED issues are struggling with the goal of trying to make their body do something. Rather than approaching this with curiosity, there is a heavy focus on forcing it to happen

When men learn to trust the relaxation processes in their bodies, they are better equipped to follow their body with curiosity. Many times erections will just happen.

https://vantagepointdallascounseling.com/sex-therapy/treatment-for-erectile-dysfunction-learning-to-relax/ <- great resource for clients with ED

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