Heyo, I'm Viulus (or Vu for short), and this is my Disco Elysium-centric blog! Things are gonna look a little plain here for a while, but I'm working on it 😂 In the meantime, I will do my best to tag everything properly. Also, this is *not* a spoiler-free blog, so keep that in mind, and... enjoy your stay!
Hello all! I'm Viulus (or Vu for short), and welcome to my DE blog. Here you'll find a short intro to me, how I got into the game, and a link to a post with all my most used tags on this blog.
About me
My tags
My experiences with the game
So I actually found out about DE in... February? March? Of 2022. I kept hearing about it in a gaming group on facebook, and everyone was singing its praises and obsessing over how incredible the writing was. I saw the name "Elysium", and since I was still obsessing over Hades at the time, I thought it had to do with Greek mythos 😂
I remember looking up the trailer and... I was not impressed. I got the impression that it was a third-person shooter of all things? So I lost interest. But I kept hearing more and more about it, and I was like "Okay wait... Socio-political commentary, okay I'm interested 👀"
My ah, brother had it on his PC, so late April last year I checked it out... I only played for about an hour and a half, but it was such a... Weird game. Fascinated me though. I kept thinking about it until I eventually was able to buy it for myself, in early August. And even then I didn't actually start it again until... November 2, I believe. I was just at home one night and told myself "You know what? Fuck it, I'm gonna finally start on DE"... And thus, a new fixation was born. I finished my first run just this month (the 7th, to be precise), and the rest is history!
With all that out of the way, thanks for stopping by, and enjoy my blog! Also... If you're ever interested in hearing more about my experiences with the game, feel free to send in an ask about it. I'm *always* down to discuss it 😉
@plague-agent I DID IT I DID THE THING!!! sorry it took so long I literally ended up rewriting the while thing and adding a semi-hopeful ending and it turned into a 2.2k words oneshot 😭😭😭 thanks for the motivation lol!!
ANYWAYS OVERLY ANGSTY KIMHARRY ONESHOT UNDER THE CUT SFHJFJNSYXGJVHB
edit: HELP I KEEP ADDING THINGS. KDJDHSNB WHATEVER IT'S MORE LIKE 2.5K WORDS NOW
"Really? Of all the things you could've put in there?"
You look up from your chocolate ice cream, into which you're unceremoniously dumping an entire bag of potato chips. "But I don't remember what I used to like with my ice cream! This could've been my favorite, for all I know!"
Kim wrinkles his nose in obvious disgust. "I seriously doubt that, detective," he mumbles, before raising a spoonful of tiramisu to his lips. He hums pleasantly at the taste. "I'm glad we came back here. This tiramisu has certainly redeemed that awful blueberry pie from last time."
"Hey, it's not the baker's fault he didn't account for your ridiculous sweet tooth! Honestly, Kim, shame on you, blaming an honest working-class business owner..." You shake your head sternly, as if telling off a misbehaved child.
DRAMA — You're a terrible actor, but it serves you well here. Kim finds it endearing.
COMPOSURE [Success] - Though his ears flush at the mention of his "sweet tooth"— an aspect of himself he finds silly and immature. He coughs awkwardly and goes back to his tiramisu, a bit too embarrassed to continue the conversation.
As you often do when silence lulls between the two of you for any stretch of time, you find yourself saying, "Hey. Hey, Kim. Tell me a secret, Kim."
He chuckles under his breath, shaking his head. "Honestly, I'd think you knew enough about me by now."
"Never! As long as there are still things left to know, I'm going to keep asking."
EMPATHY — He gives you an odd look when you say that. I shouldn't be surprised by his curiosity anymore, he thinks, or his sincerity, for that matter. But sometimes...
He clears his throat. "Yes, well. Sometimes, it's good to not know everything."
You gasp playfully. "Fuck you, that's, like, the most mysterious thing you could've said! Now I want to know even more!"
"That's too bad," Kim says, sipping demurely at a cup of hot chocolate. "Since I won't be telling you."
With a frustrated groan, you take a bite of your ice cream. "Oh, hey! It's actually not bad!" As you tear into your dessert, Kim merely rolls his eyes with an unmistakable fondness.
SUGGESTION — Psst, Harry, over here. You're always asking Kim for secrets, but you don't really seem to get anywhere. Why not just ask us?
I can do that?
ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Success] — Oh yes, Harry-boy. Give me a turn, I could tell you all about speedfreak Kitsuragi over here. Did you know he pierced his—
VOLITION [Success] — No no, nothing like that. Please, not when he's right there. I don't trust our ability to keep our face neutral. No offense, Composure.
COMPOSURE — None taken. Trust me, I know better than anyone, it's a shitshow in here.
LOGIC — You could ask another one of us, though. I'm sure there's some sort of reasonable compromise here, it doesn't have to be inappropriate sexual fantasies or nothing.
You take another bite of ice cream, trying your best not to look like a deranged lunatic staring off into space. Kim doesn't look too concerned, though— he's used to this, and he appreciates the moments of quiet, too. So what sort of things could you guys tell me? Which one of you should I pick?
SHIVERS [Success] — I could tell you about his life. I witnessed his childhood firsthand: summers and birthdays, mostly spent poor and alone. If you wanted, I could tell you things even he doesn't know— about the parents he never met, two young communard revolutionaries in love. I could tell you how they were killed, and who killed them, too.
SAVOIR FAIRE — Okay, that sounds like a huge bummer. Do me a favor and don't pick that one.
VISUAL CALCULUS [Success] — I could tell you about how he organizes his thoughts, lists and compartments and pages upon pages of notes, both in his notebook and, when it's not available, in his head. I've spent a lot of time pondering what it's like in there, and I think I've got an accurate guess.
INTERFACING — I like this one. It's not quite as interesting as ms. war-and-bloodshed's idea, but it's still good. Besides, learning how Kim approaches problem-solving might actually make us a better detective.
ESPRIT DE CORPS [Success] — I could tell you how he feels about you. As a partner, of course, anything more than that is beyond my area of expertise.
EMPATHY [Failure] — I could tell you more. But... No, I'm sorry, I don't think I will. I can't be the one to show you the inner workings of his heart, I just can't, not when I know exactly how badly he wants to remain unseen. It would hurt too much.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY — That's too bad. But hey, my offer's still on the table—
VOLITION [Success] — Behave.
1. — Turn to Kim. "The voices are currently offering to explain all your secrets to me, by the way. So there." (Do not say this???)
2. — [Shivers — Legendary] Tell me about Kim's life.
-1 Way too depressing to think about on some random Sunday
3. — [Visual Calculus — Legendary] Tell me about the way Kim thinks.
-> 4. — [Esprit De Corps — Legendary] Tell me about how Kim feels about me. As a partner.
+1 Professional rapport
+1 More than professional (you guys are pretty good friends by now, right?)
5. — [Empathy — Impossible] No, I want more than that. Tell me more.
-3 It's not happening, Harry. I won't do it.
6. — [Electrochemistry — Heroic] No, no, tell me more about this "speedfreak Kitsuragi" stuff.
-1 Volition is disappointed in you
+1 You really do want to know, though
7. — Actually, maybe I shouldn't do this. (Leave)
HALF-LIGHT [Success] — WAIT! Don't pick that one, please. It's dangerous. It's going to hurt.
REACTION SPEED — What? That one seems like one of the less dangerous options, actually. What are you freaking out for?
ENDURANCE — Ugh, don't listen to that thing. It's just a mangy little dog that jumps at its own shadow.
INLAND EMPIRE [Success] — The shadow is dark and cold, and it wraps itself around the one you love, its fingers coated in yellowish-white grains of sand, but it will turn him blue. You cannot save him.
RHETORIC — ... What are you even talking about? There's no sand here. We're in Central Jamrock, not Iilmara.
1. — This is getting weird. (Pick a different one.)
-> 2. — No, I'll stick with my first choice.
[CHECK SUCCESS]
ESPRIT DE CORPS [Success] — Oh, no... Harry, I'm so sorry. This was supposed to be the safe option. Just a quick peek into his psyche to see what he thinks of working with you. If I'd known it would be something like this, I never would've...
What, does he hate me or something?
EMPATHY [Success] — Don't say that. Please don't say that... You have no idea how much pain I'm in. You have no idea how wrong you are.
ESPRIT DE CORPS — When Pryce first assigned him as your partner, after a few weeks of begging, you heard Lieutenant Kitsuragi mumble something under his breath. You weren't paying attention at the time, too excited to care, but you did hear him, in the back of your mind:
PERCEPTION (HEARING) [Success] — "I won't live through the death of another partner," he'd whispered to himself.
VISUAL CALCULUS [Success] — He'd briefly glanced back at you as he'd said it, almost nervous, his small smile tensing at the corners like he'd suddenly had to fake it.
LOGIC [Success] — He wasn't saying he didn't want to be your partner. Clearly he did, because he is.
EMPATHY [Success] — It was worse than that, so much worse... A promise to himself.
INLAND EMPIRE [Success] — He would only do it if you were gone. Ghosts can't save anyone.
INLAND EMPIRE — You cannot save him.
[-1 MORALE]
HALF-LIGHT — I told you it was going to hurt.
ESPRIT DE CORPS [Success] — Lieutenant Kim Kitsuragi is a practical man, more concerned with privacy and efficiency than anything else. He would never drive his beloved Kineema into a ravine, for example— instead, three bottles sit in a lonely box in his bathroom cabinet: cimetidine, metoclopramide, and sodium nitrite.
ENCYCLOPEDIA [Success] — The first two are just over-the counter drugs. Their only purpose is to counteract the side effects of the latter.
PAIN THRESHOLD — A small comfort he would allow himself in death.
ESPRIT DE CORPS — None of them have not been opened since their purchase three years ago, but if ever he felt the need, he would not hesitate to do it.
EMPATHY [Success] — No. He would hesitate. Even if just for a minute, the weight of it all would be difficult for him to shake. Kim Kitsuragi is a man with an incredibly strong survival instinct; it's just how he's wired. In that moment, he would feel as though time itself was slowing down as he struggled to move through the thick miasma of dread and fear, like swimming upriver through the Esperance. But it would not be enough to stop him.
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT [Success] — His extremities would be blue in minutes. He would be dead within hours, at most.
[-1 MORALE]
CONCEPTUALIZATION [Success] — You wonder, did his hands shake when he purchased these supplies? Did his eyes shine with the thin film of unshed tears when he packed them away in that cabinet? Did he even let himself cry?
COMPOSURE — Or was he as calm as ever, save for the slightest difference in the set of his jaw?
VOLITION — Does it even matter? Either way, he is not nearly as sane as you believe him to be.
ESPRIT DE CORPS — Don't feel too bad for not noticing. He prefers it that way.
EMPATHY [Success] — And do you want to know the worst part? He's happy. He really is, Harry. He loves being your partner and he loves being here, with you. This is just what happiness looks like to him. How it's always looked, since...
INTERFACING [Success] — He refuses to let himself be happy without an exit strategy. One foot out the door. A finger on the eject button. Just in case.
[-1 MORALE]
HALF-LIGHT — Whatever fancy thing you want to call it won't change the fact that he's in DANGER. We need to help him!
EMPATHY — No. You were never meant to see this. Any of this.
SUGGESTION — And besides, what exactly are you going to say? Accusing a random person of wanting to kill themselves, specifically of wanting to kill themselves in response to you dying— it would make you look like a delusional egomaniac at best.
ESPRIT DE CORPS [Success] — Lieutenant Kitsuragi is NOT a random person! He's our partner. What even are we if we can't protect our own partner?!
HAND-EYE COORDINATION [Failure] — He asks himself the same question, every single night.
[!] [MORALE CRITICAL] [!]
EMPATHY — Stop it! Please, you're hurting me! I can't take this anymore—
INLAND EMPIRE [Failure] — YOU CANNOT SAVE HIM, HARRIER. YOU CAN'T SAVE HIM YOU CAN'T SAVE HIM YOU CAN'T—
"Detective?" Kim is shaking your shoulder, looking a little worried. "Apologies. I usually don't interrupt you when you're..." Communing with the voices in your head, he doesn't say. "... But you started crying. Here, I have some magnesium— you can take it with your potato chip ice cream abomination." He smiles a little, and you know he's just trying to cheer you up.
SUGGESTION — And because you are a pathetically easy creature, it works on you.
[+1 MORALE]
Grinning back at him even as tears continue to well up in your eyes, you down the magnesium with a spoonful of your ice cream. The chips are soggy by now, and it tastes much worse than before, but the magnesium does its job.
Kim huffs a quiet laugh at the disgruntled look on your face. "That bad, huh? Well, I won't say 'I told you so'."
-> 1. — [Volition — Impossible] Stay calm.
2. — [Pain Threshold — Legendary] Punch yourself in the mouth. You won't be able to say anything if you're missing teeth.
[CHECK FAILURE]
VOLITION [Failure] — I'm sorry. It was never going to happen.
"Kim, y-you wouldn't—" Your fragile smile crumples like wet paper as a sob wrenches itself from your chest.
Immediately, Kim's eyes widen, and his hand tightens on your shoulder. Protective. "Harry," he says, softly, too softly, almost like it's not something you were meant to hear at all. Then: "We should get out of here. I was planning to let you stay at mine anyways. Hopefully my couch won't start calling you names, like last time— I was sure to give it a stern talking-to, you know," he adds, forcing levity into his voice.
EMPATHY [Success] — He cares about you so much. It's going to break you.
INLAND EMPIRE [Failure] — We can't save him. I'm sorry, we just can't, there's nothing we can—
HALF-LIGHT — nopleasenonononono—
VOLITION [Success] — You're wrong. Both of you are wrong. We're not helpless, and he's not hopeless. There is still time to fix this.
ESPRIT DE CORPS [Success] — Go with him. You know what you need to do.
"Of course," you croak out, wiping your face with a napkin. "Thank you, Kim."
—
ESPRIT DE CORPS [Success] — The next morning, long after his partner has left, Lieutenant Kitsuragi stumbles out of the shower and puts on his glasses. He opens the bathroom cabinet to look for his razor, so he can shave the patchy stubble under his chin— only to blink in surprise when he sees that a familiar box, tucked away in the back, is open and empty.
EMPATHY [Success] — He feels so many things at once that it's almost as if he feels nothing at all.
CONCEPTUALIZATION [Success] — But it's not nothing, is it? It can't be nothing. If it was nothing, it wouldn't hurt this much. If it was nothing, there wouldn't be any hope.
EMPATHY [Success] — He allows himself to cry. Quiet and subdued, but even still, it's the first time he's cried in far too long. And it's awful and cathartic and miserable and furious and so, so afraid, but if you were to turn the lights off, you might see the tiniest spark in his lungs, the faint glow of something terrifying he can't quite smother. The ghost of his younger self pounding its fists against his ribcage, screaming as if begging for its life—
INLAND EMPIRE [Success] — LOVED LOVED WE ARE LOVED WE ARE WANTED WE ARE CARED FOR WE CAN BE SAFE AND HAPPY AND LOVED—
SHIVERS [Success] — Staring blankly at an empty cardboard box in his bathroom, a 44-year-old man lets himself cry openly for the first time in approximately two thousand, one hundred and ninety-six days. After all, he reasons, no one is there. No one can see the tears gathering in the corners of his eyes and sliding down his face.
There’s a lot of jokes about Harry looking „half dead” or „like a corpse”, mostly made from people who either didn’t play the game or are new to it. It makes sense on some level – when we’re introduced to Harry, he’s described (by his own brain) as this:
There’s an undeniable body horror aspect to these descriptions, that later has a thematic parallels to Lely (or rather: his corpse).
But if you take time for Harry to take a bath, shave and take a long look in the mirror, you realize he’s not *bad* looking. He’s not the ugliest man alive. He’s tired, overworked and just survived a mental breakdown leading up to a suicide attempt, anyone would look awful. He just needs rest and support.
Here’s where fanart comes in.
I love DE fanart as much as anyone else – there are so many wonderfully talented artists – but my favorite type is the one that keeps the “unflattering” aspects of Harry’s appearance (red nose, wrinkles, crooked jaw, belly, teeth gap) and show him as appealing (beautiful, sexy) not despite of them, but *because* of them. Art that makes me stare, slack jawed and gripping my phone so hard I’m sure I’m going to crack it one day is drawn in different styles, by different people with various levels of skill, but each one of them shows Harry’s body as something positive – or even *neutral*, and it on itself is something remarkable more often than not.
I really wish it wasn’t like that – that finding fanart that doesn’t make Harry skinny and able bodied wasn’t so difficult/uncommon.
What more can I say. If you don’t like your game has canonically fat and disabled protagonist, I have a suggestion – there’s a new game that may interest you. It’s about a Witch in the Alps–
does anyone have any disco elysium kimharry fics that specifically explores radicalization or socialism. esp w the fact that district 41 is tasked to forward the next revolutionary force as the rcm. or any fics where they return to the union. or idk i just rlly want fic recs that explore the political aspects of the game :{
