synopsis: the one word senior ye would use to describe you is “unpredictable.” at times, shiyuan is unpredictable, too.
contents: masturbation, sexual repression, ye shiyuan is sexually represssed, shame, loss of control, shameful masturbation, ye shiyuan loses his discipline, masturbating, sexual fantasy, power dynamics, ye shiyuan is your senior, implied power imbalance. 18+ MINORS DNI
notes: crossposted to AO3, please a-yuan lemme hit
the one word senior ye would use to describe you is “unpredictable.”
you were utterly reckless at times, just short of moronic. he wondered at times— do you even think about what you’re doing?
ever since you came to waifei peninsula, ever since you joined yunkui summit, you’ve been a bit of a headache as his junior. but, no, you weren’t stupid… and maybe you did know what you were doing.
shiyuan laid in his bed, the rickety wooden frame accommodating the curve of his spine, his body restless and shifting from side to side. he laid on his left side, grunted, rolled to the right, groaned. his mind kept bouncing back to you, much to his dismay. ye shiyuan’s brows furrowed, focusing on the closest thing to him, which happened to be his glasses resting on the nightstand.
a part of him wondered what you were doing, if you were up to the same stupid things you always did. you could be sneaking out, spending whatever money you had left at yum cha sin, you tapping away at the glass that covered the bangboo vending machine, your face smushed against the clear pane.
he huffed unconsciously, his muscles wound with tension that had nothing to do with his martial arts training. he shifted again, settling on his back, the thin sheet annoying him in a way he couldn’t quite describe. his brown hair was splayed out on the pillow nestled under his neck and head, eyes focused on the ceiling above him.
no matter what: he just cannot sleep. no matter what he tries.
the more he moved around on his bed, trying to get comfortable, the less he was, and as he stared up at the ceiling, his thoughts only got worse and worse.
shiyuan rubbed a hand over his face, fingers dragging his fair skin downwards. he lolled his head to the right again, his gaze fixed on the intricate design of his nightstand. the handle was a bronze-gold color, adorned with delicate designs, the wood was a gorgeous maple, stained with a deep color that complimented its accents. he was desperately trying everything to ignore the beckoning heat in his core.
shiyuan never feels like this— he has more discipline than that. even if he can’t bring himself to sleep at night, never do those feelings, those thoughts, fester. his hand slid down to his lips, covering his mouth entirely as he winced. tonight, this was entirely un-ignorable.
sweat began to bead at his forehead, close to his hairline, slowly rolling down to his furrowed brow. he could feel a noxious dread mixing with years of pent-up lust brewing deep in his chest and his lower stomach. ye shiyuan knew better than to let it get to him, why are you getting to him? is this another one of your little tricks?
his hand trembled down, shamefully, towards the waistband of his pants. he flinched as his palm rested on his clothed erection, warm and stiff to the touch. shiyuan swore to himself that he knew better than to touch himself, that it was a lapse in his judgment, he shouldn’t be doing something so shameful, but as his palmed his cock some more, his resolve wavered. nobody had to know.
his breaths came in slow, deliberately measured puffs, careful not to bring attention to himself somehow, his hyper vigilance like second nature. he looked around his room once, twice, eyes darting from left to right to left, though he knew he was alone, before snaking his hand into his pants and boxers.
shaking like a wet dog, shiyuan finally grabbed his bare cock, shivering at the feverish, explicit touch. his willpower slowly left him, evaporating into his bed like the sweat dampening his sheets and clothes. he shouldn’t be thinking about his junior in such a way, especially not someone so level-headed like him. not once has his thinking been so foggy, so… lewd.
he arched into his own touch, thumbing his cock, smearing his precum over his shaft, stifling a soft noise in the dead of night. he wanted to crawl out of his own skin knowing what he’s doing, the shame eating him from the inside all the way out, but it feels so, so good. with each wave of shame, a deeper, fuller wave of pleasure coursed through his body. he began to stroke himself in a consistent rhythm, his thinking in tandem with his hand. his thoughts continuously circled back to you, touching himself to the way he remembered your smile, your soft laugh, the one or two times he accidentally looked at your boobs. maybe he shouldn’t have appreciated them the way he did those off-handed times. it was slightly perverse, but it’s pretty normal for guys to kinda do that… right?
he bit back a few more soft noises, feeling the heat building within his well-built muscles. with every flex of his muscles, with every stroke and touch of his own hand, he lost himself in the deep pleasure. he couldn’t quite remember the last time he let himself do this. fuck the shame, fuck the wrongness of all this. it felt so good to let loose for once, to shed himself of the shackling restraint he always bares.
his eyes screwed shut, gritting his teeth as his hand worked faster on his shaft, his non-dominant flying to his mouth to cover a desperate squeak. he was so close, his thoughts fuzzy and disconnected from all reason, from his own body. fuck, he was about to cum, yet, he couldn’t bring himself to care anymore about the recklessness of it all. he didn’t care about his shame, from what he should and shouldn’t be doing. you’ve got amazing tits.
with a strangled, muffled groan, ye shiyuan threw his head back as far as he could, his bare chest rising and falling, skin slick with sweat. he stroked faster, feeling the cum spill out onto his body. his climax was wholly overwhelming, draining his balls onto his own chest, his mind finally silent for once, vision hazy, his body and brain completely disconnected.
shiyuan supposed at times he could be unpredictable, too. he never thought he had it in him to throw away all his discipline, especially for someone like you, his own junior. he couldn’t predict cumming on his own chest, huffing and gasping for air like he’d been starved, just ‘cause of you…
to hell with it, though. maybe that’s why you do the shit you do, because it’s fun. because it feels good. he can’t blame you much, if so. shiyuan won’t admit it aloud but he loves the lewd, hot feeling of shooting ropes and the way his body gets all tense when he’s about to cum.
a newfound part of ye shiyuan wants nothing more, now, than to burn away the rest of his discipline— as shameful and condemnable it is.
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