"TK?" Carlos slurred, and he was instantly on alert, scooting closer to him. Carlos, with a great deal of effort, picked up his head from it lay on his father's shoulder and looked at him with unfocused eyes.
He put a hand on the back of his neck, supporting him. "I'm here, baby."
"Good," he muttered, letting his head fall back in his hold.
TK pressed a kiss to the top of his head, eyes closed as he breathed him in. "I'm so glad you're okay," he whispered into his hair, letting out a shuddering breath. "I was so worried."
Carlos nodded, and TK felt the movement rather than saw it. "I saw you."
TK pulled him close, let his head rest on his chest. They breathed, slow and steady.
Together.
.
"How are you feeling, son?"
Carlos looked up from his phone, smiling softly at his father. He took the offered glass of water, but didn't drink. "Carlos?"
"Hmm?"
Gabriel pursed his lips. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine."
He raised an eyebrow. "You were kidnapped by a serial killer," he told him incredulously, his voice shaking just a little, "and you died. You're not fine."
"Then why did you ask, dad?"
He sighed. "I was hoping for the truth."
"The truth is, I'm not fine. I keep seeing them every time I close my eyes, and I keep thinking, if-" he trailed off, biting his lip.
"If?"
"If she hadn't untied me, if you guys had been just one minute late, I'd be dead."
His father looked away, but not before Carlos saw the tears in his eyes. "We weren't," he told him firmly after a few seconds, "and you are very much alive."
"Thanks to you and TK."
His father smiled. "You should have seen him, son," he muttered, "he nearly bit the detective's head off, more than once," he told him, eyes alight with fondness, "he's also the one who saw the connection to Daryl."
Carlos looked down, smiling slightly. "Speaking of TK, where is he?" He asked anxiously.
"In the cafeteria, with Iris. He seems to have taken it well? The news about your marriage."
Carlos nodded. "Too well."
"What's going on, Mijo?"
Carlos wasn't used to this. He never used to talk to his father about his relationships, or things that bothered him for that matter, but-
"When Iris didn't sign the divorce papers right away, TK went to talk to her. The day after that, she went missing."
His father sat back in the chair and nodded. "And you thought it was his fault."
He closed his eyes. "I hurt him, and we didn't get the chance to talk about it."
"Carlos," he waited until their eyes met, "that boy loves you, and you love him. As long as that holds true, you can fix anything."
There was a faint knock on the door, and he looked up to see TK standing there, a cup of coffee in one hand and a paper bag in the other. He looked tired, but happy, and Carlos found himself smiling at the sight of him.
His father stood up. "I'm going to go check on your mother." Carlos nodded. "Talk to him," he whispered.
Carlos nodded again.
TK wordlessly handed his father the paper bag as he passed him. Gabriel smiled, squeezed his shoulder. "Thank you, son."
"You're welcome," his fiancé responded. Once his father left, TK came in, and took his place by the bed. He took Carlos' hand in his and lifted it up to his lips. The kiss he placed there was light, but lingering, and Carlos fought back the tears that threatened to fall. "I'm sorry," he whispered.
TK's confusion was plain on his face as his brows furrowed. "What? Why are you sorry?"
"TK, I-" he stooped, took a breath, tried to figure out where to start. "I'm sorry for not telling you about Iris sooner-"
"Carlos-"
"Let me finish, please, TK," he pleaded with him. TK nodded.
"I'm sorry for making you feel like you had to go talk to her, and I'm sorry that I let you think her going missing was your fault," he blurted out, "God, the way I treated you after-"
"Carlos," he cut him off firmly, "Carlos, baby, none of that matters."
"It does. And you're gonna brush it off now because I almost died and-"
"It doesn't matter," TK exclaimed, chest heaving and eyes glistening, "it doesn't matter, because you didn't almost die, you did die. For two minutes, you were dead and I had to-" his breath hitched, "I had to-"
"TK," he said softly, soothingly, extending a hand out to him, "come here."
He put his shaking hand in Carlos' and Carlos gripped it tight, used it to pull him closer. "Come here."
TK sat on the edge of the bed, let Carlos tug him into him, and TK all but collapsed into his arms. Carlos rocked them gently, one hand around TK's shoulders, the other running through his hair. “I love you.”
The first sob took him by surprise, but he only tightened his hold on him. TK stiffened, obviously trying to hold back the tears, so Carlos gently pushed him away, just far enough so he could look at him. "TK," he said calmly, heart breaking at the sight of his red rimmed green eyes, "baby?"
"Yeah," he managed to say.
"It's okay," he said simply, holding his face between his hands. He screwed his eyes shut tightly, and Carlos pulled him back into his arms, pressing kisses to his neck, to the side of his face, to his hair. "Breathe," Carlos whispered, again and again.
Summary: Father’s Day has been a sticky subject for Adam for years. It used to be painful to spend the time with Bob, listening to his dad complain about everything.
But on a sunny Sunday in June 2022, he learns the good parts about it.
Words: 2.2k
Warnings: none
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Father’s Day had never really been a day that Adam Ruzek enjoyed. As a kid it was always the day that he felt like he was supposed to impress his dad, and Bob was never happy with a macaroni card and some Cubs merchandise. As he got older and his parents had split up it just felt like a waste of time.
There’d been two of them since Kim had lost the baby. The first one, he was ashamed to admit, he’d spent in a drunken haze. He was supposed to be a couple of weeks away from being a dad, living with Kim and getting the nursery ready for their baby to come home from Med. Even having that baby and being platonic was so much better than not having them at all. So that first one he spent drunk on not great whiskey in his apartment, booking the day after off as a furlough day that he claimed was spent with his dad. Voight knew well it wasn’t, but said nothing. He was able to pretend at least for a little while that everything was fine and it wasn’t a mess.
The second was spent doing more pretending, but this time it was pretending that he didn’t love Makayla like she was his own kid already. It’d been ten weeks since Kim’s abduction, but Mack had fully wormed her way into his life and heart entirely too easily. She’d fall asleep with her head on his lap, grinning at him before settling down. He wasn’t her dad, though. He knew he wasn’t really. But they spent the day watching movies and relaxing, Mack helping Kim with her PT until he got called to a scene that evening.
This year, however, it didn’t even cross his mind. Things were so, so good for once that he didn’t even want to think about it in case he ruined the way things were. He got to live with the love of his life and they were making their relationship work. Makayla was his in all the ways that really mattered to him, and she gave him hugs at night and asked him to read her a story. Things may as well have been perfect.
Their Sunday pancake tradition was alive and well, so when he got out of the shower he dressed to go bring his girls their breakfasts. But instead of the coffee pot barely on there was a full plate in front of his place at the table, a card and messily wrapped box with an even messier bow on top on his chair.
“What’s all this?” He asked, sitting down as Mack oh so carefully pushed the holder that the coffee pot sat on towards him.
“It’s for you! Open the card first? Please?” She asked, and who was he to deny her anything he could feasibly give her?
“You did all of this for me? Then I have to, right?”
It was a handmade pink glittery card, more glitter than in a strip club on the front. But it was the message inside in a childish scrawl that made him stop and stare, blinking rapidly to make sure he was reading it correctly.
Dear Adam,
Happy Father’s Day! I love you. Can I call you dad from now on?
Love,
Mack
His eyes began to well up, staring at his daughter - the word singing in his veins as he realised she felt it too - who had visible nerves on her face. If she wanted to call him just Adam for the rest of her life he’d have been so happy just to be there and around. But for her to actually ask if he would be her dad? He never dreamed it.
“Yeah. If you want to call me dad then you go right ahead, ok?”
It was a whirlwind hitting into his chest, Makayla jumping from her chair and into his arms as fast as she could. Her head hit off his collarbone and she rest perfectly against him as he held her tightly.
“I love you, Dad,”
“I love you so much, Mack. You and your mom so much.”
He looked across to Kim standing to the side in the kitchen, just out of their way with tears spilling down her cheeks at the sight in front of her. He had his full family. It couldn’t get much better than this for him.
Or at least that’s what he thought until he opened the box in front of him. It was so clear how much time and effort his girls had put into the day for him, but when he thanked Kim she insisted it was all Makayla. There was a highly scheduled itinerary for the day that started with brunch and ended with dinner at Portillos, a drawing of a cake shake beside the carefully printed name. The middle was covered by hands at Mack’s insistence, wanting there to be a surprise for him. So they sat and ate pancakes and relaxed before starting their adventure for the day. Or at least relaxed as much as they possibly could when there was a seven year old bouncing off the walls from excitement and a sugar rush thanks to too much syrup on her pancakes.
The first stop was to the playground they used to go to, the one that was halfway between his old apartment and Kim’s old one. If he was honest he hated the memories of it. It always felt like he was a divorced father doing custody changeovers whenever he was there, even though Mack didn’t even have a bedroom in his place. But they’d meet and he’d push her on the swings as high as he could so she’d giggle. It must have been happy for her if she wanted to spend time there with him, so Adam put aside his worry and pushed her again.
This time it was him and Kim pushing her together, braids with white beads swinging behind her in the June heat as she giggled and screamed for joy. It was busier than it usually was, parents out enjoying the Hallmark holiday with their kids. He knew his family didn’t look exactly like people thought it should - and he and Kim both knew there would forever be a missing member - but it was his family, and that was what mattered to him.
The alarm on Kim’s phone sounded and Makayla immediately jumped off the swing as it came back down, landing on her hands and knees as he grabbed the seat and watched her pop back up.
“What did we say about making sure you don’t hurt yourself?” He asked, Mack shaking her head and smiling.
“I didn’t though!”
“Fine.”
Each of his girls took one of his hands and led him back to Kim’s car. It was part of the agreement for the day, Kim was doing the driving so he could relax. The drive was fun, relaxing and he enjoyed watching Kim go a convoluted route so he couldn’t tell exactly where they were going. When they did pull up at Navy Pier he was surprised, Mack bouncing in her car seat with excitement once they were parked. He wasn’t quite sure where they were going, but Makayla was the one who pulled him through the crowd, Kim taking a photo of his six foot frame being dragged by their four foot nothing child.
It was to the Ferris wheel, Makayla determined to battle her fear of heights. They had a Father’s Day special and he didn’t even ask, Mack getting in for free and sitting between him and Kim.
Pointing out everything on the Chicago skyline was special to him, and getting her to follow his finger and see Loyola Beach made them both grin. When they got back down he brought her into Build A Bear, watching her eyes go wide.
“Pick one. It’s a special day, you get a present too.”
It shouldn’t have surprised him, but they watched Mack choose a dark brown bear, whispering her secret to him and Kim and Adam recorded the message for the bear. The final decision was the outfit she was getting, and he and Kim were both surprised when she ignored the wall of costumes but went straight for the Chicago Police Uniform, picking it up with a grin.
“He’ll look like you two!”
What were they supposed to say to that? Even the badge looked like the ones permanently affixed to their hips, so it was up to the cashier to pay. They got a look from the woman behind the counter, the look that Adam had become more than used to receiving whenever he and Mack were out together. Instead of the anger he used to feel it was resignation, at least he knew that people were looking out for her and that had to mean something.
The final stop before going back to the car was the Ohio Street Beach, Mack running along to find sea glass for them. The three of them wandered through the tiny beach, calling as they found some.
“Mom! Look!” Makayla yelled and the two of them ran over to see the baby blue glass in her hand. It had originally been a pendant of some kind it seemed, but it was in four nearly perfect pieces. They slotted together to make an oval with a hole in the middle, Mack handing over her treasure to Kim.
“It’s nearly as pretty as you.” Adam bent down to push a kiss to the top of her head, firmly taking her hand as they went back to the car. He knew there was just one more stop, and he was excited for whatever they had up their sleeves for him.
He didn’t know what he’d expected, but to pull up outside Wrigley Field and be told to get out of the car was not it. Kim took the reins of this part of the day, giving their names and getting the lanyards for each of them to wear. It was a full tour of Wrigley, the place he’d never gotten to go as a kid. Bob had promised they’d do it, but his dad never came through. But this? His first year as a dad and they were doing it for him? It was nearly too much happiness to bear.
“Thank you,” he murmured to Kim before it began, his girlfriend turning to shake her head.
“Thank Mack. She’s the one who looked up the tour and decided you should do it. She said she wants to go to a game with you, but wanted to see here first.”
It was a magical tour for him, but one of the most fun parts was sitting in the dugout with Mack on his lap. The kids on the tour were invited up to try hit a pitch from home plate, and with a tiny bit of encouragement Makayla went up to do it. She looked tiny in the oversized helmet with a baseball bat in her hands, her new Cubs shirt open on as she stared at the guide preparing to pitch.
They were both prepared to need to comfort her, but Adam’s jaw dropped as with the first swing she’d ever done of a baseball, Makayla sent it a solid forty feet away from them. Everyone watching cheered for her, Adam and Kim clapping and whooping.
“DAD! Did you see? Didya see how far it went?!” Makayla asked, running into his arms and getting swung around in celebration. He didn’t realise Kim had been had been recording the swing, the video sent to Kevin before Adam even knew it existed.
“How could I not? You were brilliant! Did you have fun?” She nodded rapidly, Adam continuing to hold her even though he could have let her down. But she was only seven for a little longer, and he was relishing these moments.
The three had photos taken at each spot on the tour, Adam relishing seeing his daughter in her new Cubs shirt. She grinned widely, and when they exited into the gift shop he couldn’t resist picking up a baseball bat, glove, and a three back of balls for her. Kim just shrugged and pressed a kiss to his cheek as he paid, Makayla holding his hand and grinning.
“Can we try in the back yard next week if you’re not in work?”
“You bet we can.”
The final stop was to Portillos for hotdogs and cake shakes. The three squished in a booth that should have only sat two, Mack on his lap and staring across at Kim. He split his shake with Makayla, eating and laughing with the loves of his life as their day was nearly perfect. But the final thing to put a smile on his face was while they were leaving, his hand on the small of Kim’s back as he held Makayla’s hand and their waitress came up to them.
“Did you have a good day?” She asked Makayla, the seven year old chewing her lip and nodding.
“It’s Dad’s first Father’s Day, I wanted him to have fun.” She glanced up at Adam to see a wide grin on his face.
OH MY GOD I HAVE A NEW ENTIRE REALIZATION BASED ON A CONVO I WAS HAVING W A FRIEND ON TWT ABOUT THE AIRPORT REUNION SCENE IS 3.08!!!
Mkay TK and Carlos demonstrate how safe they feel with each other in different ways. From the beginning of the show, TK is always shown as a restless/anxious person (he’s always fidgeting, his leg is always bouncing etc) and he never quite calms/settles fully until we see him and Carlos get together for real. The first real time TK seems fully settled and relaxed is in 1.10 when Carlos shows up at the firehouse and TK all but melts into that hug and then when they’re laying on the hood of Carlos’ car. I should mention I headcanon TK as neurodivergent so I think some of his “fidgeting” and restless behaviour is just stimming however, as a neurodivergent person it’s very different from his anxious fidgeting.
Throughout S2 and S3 there are so many more instances of TK being at his most relaxed/only ever visibly relaxed when he’s with Carlos. The biggest example in S2 I can think of is the scene is 2.12 after the fire when TK is comforting Carlos and hugging him saying “we’re okay” because obviously they both just went through a terrifying experience and didn’t know if they’d make it out but now that they’re out safely, TK relaxes into the hug and is visibly calm, at least on the exterior.
Now, the airport reunion scene in 3.08 is so similar because as soon as TK sees Carlos, you can see his body visibly relax again and when they hug/kiss it’s almost as if you can see TK’s brain telling his body “Carlos is here, we’re safe now.” TK is visibly calmer and his restless energy basically disappears.
TK feels SO SAFE with Carlos that the anxiety and restlessness that is very typical to see with TK just disappears and his mind and body just KNOW the Carlos is his safe place; his home.
But Carlos is always calm at least on the outside. He doesn’t really express anxiety/fear externally (and the first time we really see it is when TK is in a coma after getting shot in 1.08). Then throughout S2 and S3 again, we slowly start to see more and more of Carlos feeling safe enough to slowly start letting that put-together exterior slip in front of TK.
During the conversation after their fight about Carlos not introducing TK to his parents as his boyfriend is probably the first time we see genuine fear on Carlos’ face and TK recognizes that and tries his best to comfort and reassure him. We see it again in 2.08 when Carlos is talking to Gwyn and Owen about TK not showing up for dinner. Yes, he seems worried but he is visibly holding it together until it’s just him and TK (yes there are other people in the vicinity but still) and only then can we see the actual fear and worry written on his face. Also, this is the episode where Carlos mentions his father thinking he’s too “soft to be a cop” so we can assume that this belief/relationship with his father has caused him to learn to hide/repress his feelings, especially those like fear, worry etc that’d be deemed “soft”.
The scene after the fire in 2.12 too. Carlos is visibly panicking, blaming himself, and is so scared but he’s with TK so his mind/body allow him to be vulnerable with his emotions in a way he isn’t when others are around. Okay, finally 3.08 the episode that started this whole conversation.
In 3.08 during the airport reunion scene once again, it is similar to the 2.12 scene I talked about above. Carlos seems calm on the exterior, maybe a bit tense but still seemingly put-together, that is until he runs to TK on the tarmac. Once he’s in TK’s arms and they’re back in each other’s space again, Carlos breaks down and you can see the worry and fear on his face and hear it in his voice. When it’s just him and TK we see him let that barrier down and show those real emotions and actually be scared or anxious etc.
Carlos feels SO SAFE with TK that he knows he can allow himself to show his emotions and be vulnerable. He knows if he breaks or falls apart TK will be there to catch him and help put him back together. His mind/body KNOW that TK is his safe place; his home.
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