Lumen Musicorum

A concept poetry collection, by Sophie "Romanziere"

[minnalaushee]

Epilogue: A Dancing Act For The Moon (Burning Moon ed.)

Turn the music louder Drown out all the rest Gone is all that mattered Lead me, song, astray... One false step- and I may know eternal silence! Yet as I sway I feel awakened from this haze So I'll dance and see what happens- Headbang faster - push it further! Try once more my fate! Oblivious as the world comes down around me Dismissive of the peril of my ways Too long I've drowned in questions- when I've always known the answers! And I will not repeat my old mistakes At least, today For I know I'm just a wanderer - down a path that's set before me The one I'm by my nature bound to take So I will not berate the paths I've chosen I'll breathe and carry on... With no. Regrets. I'm only a dancer - swaying wildly! To a composition that went mad within my head I am movement, I am Light, and I. Am. Nothing! And in my laughter I have found I can't care less! I am finally out of reasons, so I'm boundless! And now that fears stopped screaming- hesitation, doubts and limits- I HEAR MUSIC IN THE AIR! I know that I'll find sanity in silence... But I prefer the madness of my grace~ So turn the music louder And let's get down again! -S :||

[minnalaushee]

Chapter XXI: Everlasting, part II

In which the Dancer reflects on her life, and finds out that all her struggles have made her different... Unique. That they have made her strong - stronger than anyone left untested by such fire... And that she treasures her experiences, painful as they were, above all else. They make her... Her.

A youthful everlasting smile The brightest flame was born from ashes For with her essence she is one Unique among the quiet masses Stories left upon her body Scents forever in her mind! All those years of wayward longing... Left her many artful scars A soulful everlasting cry! She's dancing where the storm grows ever louder! For she has learnt in all her strife That life won't bend, so she can't either~ -S

[minnalaushee]

Chapter XX: Heartbroken Melophile (Roaring Songs ed.)

In which the Dancer realizes she has lost her mind - freed her mind - and thus is unable to achieve a nebulous normalcy... And yet, she couldn't be any happier as she is - lost in her madness of music and streets that know no end. Far from home It's easy to let go Get lost to roaring music Like I, a life ago These lyrics say "forever" So forever I'll hold on To their words that sing of hope Singing senseless - giggling Merry as I go -S

[minnalaushee]

Chapter XIX: Just Outside The Halo

In which the Dancer at the Rooftop finally reconnects with music. With the shadow of love lost behind her, the dance floors she no longer felt now boom with brand-new life.

Break it down! For I only feel the music ||: And the assault of its pulsations Leaves me breathless in the dark Dancing, selfless in the crowd That tears the dance floor all around me So alive… Restless once again I will wander through the alleys This idle life through daylight hours leaves me a creature of the night And those white sounds of naked bulbs in my apartment Are screaming echoes that I never learnt to stand So here we are A myriad hours from the sunrise Here we are - we're freezing but that means we're still alive Yes here we are... Uniquely beautified by scars Beneath the rain, just outside the halo I'm snared in place a single step from finding respite there inside A single breath away - and giving in would fix my life! I'm just outside this nightclub's window, craving sound...

So break it down! I only feel the music... :|| -S

[minnalaushee]

Chapter XVIII: You...

In which the Girl says thank you to the Boy - now a man by every right - and corresponds his love once last. The Boy, to this bright day, still says it isn't over - that it'll never be quite over, even if there's never a part two. The two of them keep tabs on one another, but know that life has now moved on. They watch each other grow, like they always have since they were kids... And like they always will. Forevermore.

You are the sunbathed pictures... My primordial dream The steps that walked beside me The breeze that brought me here A quiet, constant longing sings forever in my genes The "yes" we left unclear The scar that never heals

You are the reason that was left behind Yet I'm still here and I have thrived- the wayward girl a woman now I changed my soul, my body and mind just to give you a waking smile- and now I can't... Still I'll spread the Light you sparked!

...So thank you for believing And thank you for the ride I know that you're in me now I'm yours and you are mine Forever, love, forever Forever... You and I -S

For M. Forever.

[minnalaushee]

Chapter XVII: Strangers In The Rain

In which the Dancer, now a loveless beggar roaming nowhere, makes a stand. She turns to the Boy, who had become an adamant stranger giving her small alms of love, and asks if this is all that's left. She dares him to say that they are truly over.

So this is it? What we’ve become, then? Is this in truth all that remains? Of me a loveless beggar roaming nowhere- without a purpose but still searching through the rain And you a faceless stranger... Giving only when you feel compelled The insipid phantom of a sentiment?

Let tortured heavens bleed And tell our tragic myth In shallow pools reflecting Our two lone figures in the mist

We carry on still craving Through all these grudged thoughts, all our buried faults- screaming, in unison Still we waste away pretending- that our story met its ending- and just star in mismatched tales! The scripts to perfect moments are now burning Lover, relish in their flame! I DEFY THE CHANCE TONIGHT! As even if in only a second- There is something in your eyes! Infuriated and wild That longs for all we used to have So face me and tell me that I lie I dare you, tell me that it's over -S

For M.

[minnalaushee]

Chapter XVI: Heartbroken Melophile

In which the Dancer breaks down, having lost her mind entirely to a single heartfelt song. Yes, it was she that ended their relationship, unable to handle the distance anymore... But now she reverts to the child the Boy once met, and crying as such, she begs the Boy to help her go back to the country she found love, so they can once more be together.

Take me home It's easy, love, let go Get lost to heartfelt music Like I a life ago These lyrics say "forever" So ever I'll hold on To your promise of return Singing senseless lyrics Knowing well you’re gone -S For M.

[minnalaushee]

Chapter XV: Silence

In which the Dancer realizes that she's the one hurting herself by holding on to the memory of her love. She thinks that only by his side the voices in her head stop screaming of self-hate and memories she longs to forget, so she holds on, even to the detriment of her sanity.

Wounded by the very pen that bleeds her story The writer’s whim adorns the verses to her beautiful demise Relentless in their call, her demons sing on wings of fury As the frailty of her grip, like her sanity, declines Worlds collapse where ever-after bloom shall flowers Ashes piling up around a monument to all we knew To all we stand for To all that could be but it’s not, so we just threw So here I am declaring my reliance For only by your side my tired mind can rest in silence My demons quiet, my wings, released… -S For M.

[minnalaushee]

Chapter XIV: Monologue #30

In which the Dancer realizes the feelings she holds towards the Boy bind her to sorrow... And that sorrow, somehow, has begun to be a part of her that she isn't willing to let go - consciously or subconsciously.

I'm bound by the words that I swear That forever in shadows, my soul for you dwells I struggle, in chains, set ablaze Yet the warmth of the fire elates every sense In bondage, your phantoms I chase But wherever I wander, they always evade ...And the tears that I'm shedding Lack meaning, lack sense -S For R.

[minnalaushee]

Chapter XIII: He Doesn't Ever End

In which the Dancer realizes that no matter where the highway takes her, she can never truly escape the phantom of the Boy... For their love was so intense, and so insane, that it was better than anything reality can offer... How do you cope with a mundane reality after a love taught you that magic can exist?

He doesn't ever end ||: He's a song, carved upon my memory Looping like a stricken vinyl as the highway blurs away And again As I'm driving on my way Back to nowhere He’s these lyrics that I couldn't understand And no matter how I try They can never be replicated Rhythms that my inner voice keeps screaming So loudly that my mind's still stunned and reeling And I'm weeping... For that song was madly alive It convinced me, if for a moment That there was magic in this life That there was fate, and rhyme, and meaning And that a star afar would hear our cries... That should I give my life to reach them, dreams can never truly die So I sigh He doesn't ever end :|| -S For M.

[minnalaushee]

Chapter XII: Starfall

In which the Dancer, undone by grief and mourning the deportation that separated her from her love - forcing them into a tragic long-distance affair - decides to break up with the Boy, and chase the light of dreams elsewhere. Her home will always be his arms, and yet...

Stars are falling all around me Like a burden on my back I drag a broken paradise Faithless, I continue down this path Senseless, longing always to turn back A dance into the dark Blind my footsteps, went too far I soar on crystal wings that cannot last So fearful of commitment, yet fearful of new strife My home will always be your arms... But then my dreams shine so alluring From greener prairies so afar Away and veiled, beyond what was So here's the crossroads of our lives Stay or fly? Let me go, or be my graveyard! But this is it - our final dance For there's no point in living if you rarely feel alive! Can you not see? Where dreams have dragged us... Has never been what we sought out There’s sleepless passions all around me! That burst into a violent cloud of thoughts Immune to life, so bright and tangible around us There is but one last course of action - must let go Stars are falling! All around me! And with a brave but broken heart I sail to see what's left inside Boundless, I continue down this path And dauntless, I AM NEVER TURNING BACK! A dance into the dark Tired footsteps, where to fly? I soar on broken wings but they'll suffice For now there's no commitment - welcome, strife... ...My home will always be your arms But then my dreams... Are so alluring -S For M.

[minnalaushee]

Chapter XI: Of Velveteen And Embers

In which the Dancer and the Boy have grown bitter, withered by the toll of their long distance relationship. It seems that every time they get to spend some time together, they only use it to bury a knife upon the other's back. Arise the sparkling wine, now, let us celebrate this call! To take on arms against each other, let us build another wall Awaken our dead faults, and sharpen up our tongues! As these words our demons summon, come our shadows! Feast on us… This never-ending nightmare Which horror rhymes evoke Should serve as a reminder - never take our love for granted! For there's no impervious bond ...And no more foolish fall So three more cheers! Today’s defeat! Then mix our burned down egos with our bitter tears And what we’ll get are fertile ashes From which one day bloom shall a flower Purer, stronger than the one we ripped Will we then learn to keep our demons locked within? Limb by limb, to death's release! Come fight with me - come struggle! If it's the price to keep you near... -S For M.

[minnalaushee]

Chapter X: 23

In which the Dancer falls into a terrible depression, realizing that the best of all her years are being wasted on the windowsill, sighing and longing for things that aren't here nor now - the past, the wasted present, and a dreamless future... Start weaving for her a slipknot. Recall and discover in sobering sleuth That none may return to the golden of youth When all was desire, a search for the truth An innocent error, the time you misused

Yet delighted is our fury When we are the judge and jury With no justice in our hearts! And when the rope is in our hands We all hang high for our mistakes Our senseless blames So incinerate the memories! Of lost songs buried in the past And hallow not your dried-out tears! By the weight of our regret all falls apart… Fears closing in? Dreams running out? Still as we bleed we bless the knife And all that we dare feel we cast aside In our melodic suicide -S

[minnalaushee]

Chapter IX: Just Outside The Halo (Vampyre Sigh ed.)

In which the Dancer attempts to rejoin life, but realizes that she no longer feels it... So she forces herself into the dance floors she once loved, and she wanders a city that she once found full of life... Only to find herself an outsider to everything.

Break it down! For I just can't feel the music ||: And the assault of its pulsations Leaves me reeling in the dark Craving, breathless in the crowd That tears the dance floor all around me So alive…

And I long to understand the life around me And I long to lose myself, sway so freely and feel the Light Yet here I am - another bar, another mimic Here I am again - forever changed by all these scars

So I roam throughout the night And the people past the windows Come together, laugh and dine As I'm drowning in these sighs Just outside their window's halo Craving that...

So break it down! I just can't feel the music... :||

-S

[minnalaushee]

Chapter VIII: Chiaroscuro

In which the Dancer mourns the loss of her relationship, and how, even if they're nominally "together", the distance is turning her and her Boy... Bitter. She can see the inevitable tragedy in the horizon, so it might as well be already over.

Collecting the pieces of old, broken frames Of paintings of lovers that danced in the rain A lone painter waits for the end of all days For now she has nothing - to capture in paint

In more than a myriad of ways To be, not to last, was always our fate No crossroads ahead Miasma, despair A painting of longing, of days lost to grey

So I must let go of your hand Of phantoms that stand by my side And face this one hardest of facts: To be not to last; to be, not to last…

Burn the scripts written! Burn all that remains! For I gave my all and the ending still came! In forms so abstract... In the slightest of ways The painting grew darker One shade every day

-S

For M.

[minnalaushee]

Chapter VII: Everlasting

In which the Dancer admits she has to move on, without the Boy she thought she'd share her life with always... But she can also see that the echoes of their love will live within her. Always. A faint but everlasting smile The brightest flame has left these ashes A hope that you’ll return at last A life to forge again regardless

Handprints left upon this body Scents remaining in my mind! All those years of dreaming... Longing Gone like footprints on the sand

A mute but everlasting cry! Still you’re the one my dreams inhabits And will I make it through this night? The dark seems endless... I grow tired

Facing down this storm that we once challenged Standing now alone, but I will not give up This life refused to be what we desired But I will, somehow, carry on

-S

For M.

[minnalaushee]

Chapter VI: Supporting Me

In which the Dancer feels herself slipping into a deep depression after being deported and torn from the Boy. She knows, still, that he’s got her back - even through the distance.

I won’t let my picture fall into the shadow But as a dreamer, I’m awake A mind aware discovers hell And through this narrow sight Of eyes now open, jaded, damned I see no beauty and no Light It sears the eyelids - peace denied

I let it in, a tempest in my haven And now its thoughts and all its hatred Are changing me inside A constant scream is silenced This envying mind is drowned For all around me life is present A burning hunger... Steals the night 

Dreamer of my dreams Sweet apple of my sin I beg of you - remind me Of all the smiles you say I bring Lead me into the Light Lie to me again And tell me that I’m not just made of scars Your words may root within 

I won’t let my picture fall into the shadow! And with your touch I finally wake Without this judgement of the self Beyond this clouded mind And this warped sense of who I am I see my truth is in your eyes Courageous, resolute... Alive 

…And I know you’ll be here shortly I know you are supporting me 

-S

For C.