My Best Worst Travel Story
Source
Personal story from 2006.
I really, really didn't want to attend the wedding of my lifelong crush the summer after my junior year of college. Because his parents are best friends with mine, I needed a really good excuse to get out of it. I volunteered in Guatemala for a month -- that worked: I would be out of the country while he was watching his bride walk down the aisle. A few days before I was scheduled to come home, my ATM card information was stolen and my bank account emptied. I borrowed some money to pay my rent and get me through the last little expenses. I showed up to the airport with four bucks and change (mostly in coins) -- just enough to get me a Coke and a candy bar, I figured. But no, there was a four dollar baggage tax. Unfortunately, the airport didn't accept coins smaller than quarters, so I was pretty much out of luck until a tiny woman behind me offered to cover me. I gave her every cent I had. I got on the airplane hungry, but knowing that after a short layover in Miami, I'd be a quick few hours back to Minnesota.
As we prepared to land in Florida, we were told we needed to circle the airport. Two hours later, we were cleared to land. George Bush had needed to land in Air Force One, which had pretty much shut things down for a while. Super. I missed my connection, but the airline thankfully gave us hotel and food vouchers for dinner. At the hotel, they needed a credit card number for any incidentals. Ha! I swore on my future children I would not incur any additional expenses if they would just give me a bed.
The only place to use the dinner voucher was at the hotel, and I was ravenous at this point. I cleaned up a little with what I had in my carry-on (of course my checked bag remained at the airport) and went by myself to restaurant full of businessmen and other travelers. Looking at the menu, I realized that there was only one item I could afford with my ten dollar voucher: Beef Carpaccio salad. It was fancy. It was tiny. I didn't even have money to leave a tip. After flipping through the channels (TV! What a luxury!), I fell asleep.
The next day, I managed to board my plane starving, grimy, but at least homeward bound at last. Stepping off the aircraft in Minneapolis, I could have cried with relief. I'm glad I didn't, or it would have been even MORE awkward when I ran into -- who else? -- my crush and his new wife on their way to the Caribbean for their honeymoon. The lesson? Just go to the goddamn wedding.
Minnesotan! There is a sprinkle of Guatemala in here, too, though no part of this story couldn't have happened somewhere else.
I always tell this story when I'm trying to trump someone else's "Best Worst Travel Story," and everyone has one of those. It's not something kids would really enjoy, but I think the element of missed love makes it interesting for high-schoolers on up to adults. I'm not really sure of the setting, except that it seems to require a more casual, less formal setting. The only formal venue I can see it working in is an adult storytelling event, like the Moth series or something. I'm not sure it's at that level yet.
I don't have a lot of ideas about how to change this up. I know if I were telling it in front of a younger audience (high school), I would clean up my language a lot. I have a lot of "not sures" about this story, but I'd like to keep thinking about it as one "personal story" to have in my arsenal.