mintyxcool

my name is jake im 23 and idk

[cheaphalloweencostume]

tumblr users will be like “i’ll be the first to admit i didn’t read anything you said, but here’s my take on it:”

[maxxie-or-smth]

you've met me at a very "yeah i'm trying to work on that" time in my life

[depsidase]

[targetedknowledge]

[twentybrokenipodclassics]

[gloomsday]

sent this message to my coworker today and he sent me this screenshot with microsoft teams's suggested replies... incredible 10/10 no notes.

[bark-barkley]

I WANT TO LOOK AT THINGS MADE BY HUMAN BEINGS

[softwetmoss]

And also occasionally by pufferfish

[blemgoid]

short term memory loss service dog that remembers things for you

[somafalls]

dawg i literally dont want the world to see me cuz i dont honestly think they'd understand

[woodwool]

severely deficient in whatever vitamin makes u a person

[gnocchioli]

Imagine all the things I could do if I just did them.

[treecitysessions]

I can’t stop watching this fucking insane YouTube short . The only thing on this woman’s to do list is “shake vanilla” I pray this life finds me soon

[so-much-for-subtlety]

[depsidase]

[oldbutchdanielmolloy]

too perverted for the normies not perverted enough for the real perverts how am i supposed to make it in this crazy world

[grootficguy]

i tried explaining to this girl at a party once how i could be gay and asexual at the same time and it basically boils down to never being into anyone but like once a year i’ll find a man attractive. and she was like “so what am i if i only like girls, and i’ve never found any of my boyfriends attractive and and i just wanna do cocaine all the time?” i was like “you’re a lesbian with a coke addiction?” and she was like “woooooah”. she broke up with her boyfriend that night and had a threesome with two girls in the bathtub. rebecca if you’re out there, i hope you’re going places. well, not far, since you’re electronically tagged. but spiritually.

[targetedknowledge]

[ooppo]

I think we as people who have periods should be able to expel it rapidly all at once like peeing. There's a whole untapped potential out there. I'd let it all go in the back of a police cruiser