WARNING: I WILL BE DISCUSSING SUICIDE & DISORDERS, IF THIS MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE PLEASE DO NOT READ ON.
Yoonkook is always the hardest for me to talk about, because I’ve been riding that previously tiny ship since things really picked up in the Boy in Luv era & they’re close to my heart.
However since iBighit is in the darkest parts of my soul, apparently they’ve found the need to make them cannon. &a crushingly sad one at that.
So in honor of the fresh MV teaser that might or might not run parallel with my Sugakookie theory - let’s break down what I’ve been been brewing since the beginning.
When the I NEED U MV came out none of us could’ve really prepared for the firestorm that was to come.
We got a normal version that was slightly disjointed, but still stunningly done, with a hint of a deeper tragedy.
Then the +19 came out & shit hit the fan.
There are 2 sides to the MV: the direct contrast of the memebers together vs apart. & for this part I’m focusing on Yoongi & Jungkook only.
The video opens with everyone in solo parts, just these beautifully melancholy scenes.
Jungkook is seen wandering among rooftops & buildings; listless & randomly swiping at things - seemingly frustrated.
In the making of video Jungkook said he was running away from home. So I assume he had just recently left & is now just walking aimlessly, trying to sort out his feelings.
In Yoongi’s scene- he wakes up in an empty bed in a dilapidated room- there isn’t much here- literally a lamp & a stool for a night stand- a Newsweek, yellow box? & ashtray with crushed cigarettes on top. He immediately turns over & slowly strokes the pillow next to him- not surprised by it’s emptiness yet still missing the face that’s usually beside him, regardless.
When the MV opens, Yoongi is the starter & you realize that he isn’t home at all. It’s night time & he’s in a motel. None of his possessions are with him except for what’s on the nightstand & the plaid shirt hanging on the wall. He sits on the edge of the bed & appearing to be waiting quietly.
When Yoongi notices the red lights that start flashing through the room, he instantly grow listless, dropping his head, ruffling his hair, then staring intently at the window, anxiously flicking his lighter.
I think that the lights are firetrucks. At this point of the night Yoongi already knows what he’s going to do. & probably had called them to an address nearby, so that they come quick to put out the fire, so everyone else in the building doesn’t get hurt.
The firetruck lights also acts as his timer- when he sees them he knows his time is up & needs to get on with his plan, but he’s nervous & frustrated by the way he’s acting. & ultimately flops back on the bed- perhaps waiting for them to get just far enough for his fire to burn.
(I have always wondered if the red smear on the mirror was actually a message.)
In Jungkook’s next scene it’s also night- & he now looks completely spaced out & fatigued.
Even knocking into people have no effect of him & he continues on, not even noticing. - I don’t think he knows what else to do beyond this point. He’s been devastated & it’s draining him.
This gets him into trouble & he gets ganged up on. However Jungkook has absolutely no will to fight- in this whole scene he doesn’t even pull his hand from his pocket, until he gets laid into. He’s on auto pilot, but it’s not a very good one. & gets really badly hurt because of it.
In the end - after he finally manages to pick himself back up, we see him wander into the street & devastatingly gets hit by a car.
What makes it worse in I Need U, were all these super happy subtle Yoonkook scenes that had my senses tingling like crazy, as a juxtaposition, but chalked it up to just seeing them through the Sugakookie glasses & tried not to think about all the warm looks Yoongi was giving Jungkook by the fire or how he’s looked the softest&happiest that he has ever looked in any other MV, when he pulled Jungkook close.
But everyone was paired or grouped in that scene, save for Jin, (which fits into the theory of three that many have realized) So I just enjoyed it for what it was, at the time… (cause who could’ve really known what we were in for?)
But it’s because they looked so sincerely happy together, that I couldn’t help but wonder if they related to each other’s deaths, somehow.
Something to note distinctly about Yoongi, that drives this Yoonkook theory is his habits in this era~ if you haven’t noticed, they’re a bit off & not in an grieving kind of way.
Essentially Yoongi has some symptoms of borderline personality disorder (not to be confused with bipolar). Symptoms normally include:
Problems with regulating emotions and thoughts, such as chronic feelings of emptiness and/or boredom.
Unstable relationships with others due to extreme shifts in emotions
Severe dissociative symptoms, such as feeling cut off from oneself,
Impulsive & reckless behavior - such as self harm or substance abuse to help regulate or distract from ones emotions
In the I Need U MV, Yoongi plays idly with fire (OCD), frustrated in some scenes but completely passive in others like a switch. & ultimately despite his suicide being one of the most extreme & brutal ones in the MV. Yoongi does it- errily calm. Even when the flames take him.
(As someone who has worked in a hospital burn ward- I nearly cried watching this, btw.)
These types can lead to self-destruction quickly when left unchecked..
After Prologue however, Jungkook shows himself to be Yoongi’s anchor. They’re always by each other’s side, their hands finding their way to each other’s shoulders constantly like a quiet reminder. Yoongi needed Jungkook to help ground him & bring him back when he’s having a bad way.
Jungkook knows this & happily stays with Yoongi & Jungkook genuinely seems to enjoy being needed&wanted back by him.
I’m going to say it outright, after watching this MV, I thought that it’s due to this behavior patten of trust & reliance, that it’s possible for Yoongi & Jungkook to have come into living together. Whether as best friends or something more is a moot point-
there’s an incredible amount of care, comfort, & respect here, & it’s obvious that they love each other deeply.
There are more than enough examples, in a single viewing of the Prologue to distinctly see their chemistry & how iBighit has framed them & their dynamic up, more then all the other pairings.
The gravity of their relationship shows itself considerably all throughout Prologue.
However, there are no other scenes that supports the theory of both Yoongi’s borderline personality & Jungkook’s care for him, then the Prologue firepit scene:
Jungkook is seen here laying down in Yoongi’s lap, without any hesitations, palms down, eyes closed, throwing his legs up in one fluid motion. This is a sign of absolute comfort & repetition.
Usually if you’re going to lay your head in someone’s lap for the first time - not only must you be pretty close, but there’s an adjustment period were you shift around until you both find your comfort zone - but Jungkook does this with a practiced ease, marking their routine comfort around each other.
This was also the moment that told me that Yoongi’s borderline personality can some times runs deeper then even Jungkook can reach- (Yoongi’s habit of flicking the lighter indicates something darker then just resting bitchface.) He looks like he wants to set something on fire just to watch it burn. He looks empty & dejected. While everyone else in the entire scene is more relaxed & introspective, there is none of that in Yoongi’s expression.
Jungkook is there close to him, one hand affectionately on Yoongi’s knee, but he doesn’t even seem to notice, unlike all the times we’ve seen before with them. This is the complete opposite. He’s completely in his head & good things are not happening there.
It’s hard not to notice, but I think the other members don’t worry with it because they trust Yoongi to Jungkook. Even Jin gestures the polaroid only to Jungkook, who then sits up & acknowledges it. Not Yoongi.
Jungkook turns over to answer Jin & in realizing Yoongi’s mood, he leans over & blows out the lighter- like a gentle reminder to just stop- “I’m here- come back.” “I won’t let you do that.”
It’s an act that’s both heart achingly tender based on what we know & hopeful.
It must have clicked though, because the next day Yoongi&Jungkook look as good as usual, all horseplay & laughter & big grins with everyone.
But maybe that previous moment was an allusion to how badly things can become in Yoongi’s mind, a thousand miles away, unaffected by by even Jungkook.
I had thought that if this was the case, what if Yoongi might’ve had more episodes of extreme disassociation or apathy & Jungkook wasn’t able to help him? Wouldn’t that kind of failure to save each other gradually build tension?
Furthermore there is this to consider- iBighit released photos in tandem with their album & one of Yoongi’s was simply this:
One of the symptoms of Borderline disorder as mentioned earlier is impulsive & destructive behavior - this includes substance abuse & alcoholism. In the photo Yoongi is passed out & surrounded by a mixture of pills, cigarettes, several flasks, & ashtrays, among other things.
Unlike Hoseok who overdosed on his medication- Yoongi is the only other member depicted with such intense physical vices.
This means that Yoongi, at least once, has gone on such a bad pathos that he checked himself into a hotel & went on intense self-destructive binge. (Cause face it- that’s a lot going on at once.)
&why go to a hotel when you can do the same at home, unless you don’t want someone to see you? This makes me believe that Jungkook was indeed living with him & Yoongi was probably doing this to prevent Jungkook from stopping him or seeing him this way.
Also there’s a finger partially covering the photo, that means someone took this picture & actively made their presence known.
What if this was Jungkook or one of the members, taking the picture to prove that Yoongi was on this kind of downward spiral?
Either way if Jungkook found out that this is what Yoongi is resorting to, wouldn’t it both infuriate & hurt him deeply?
So he had a brutal fight with Yoongi about it & Jungkook ran away from home. Their home.
Putting Jungkook out, to be upset & left wandering in the streets, (as we see him in INU MV), dazed & hurt, because in a sense, he did or is loosing Yoongi.
What has always been a center of suspicion was the single red plaid shirt on the wall, it’s visible in almost every shot where Yoongi begins to grow restless.
& again as a second focus point here - when everything has been moved around it, as the room begins to burn.
I originally thought it was Yoongi’s but he never wears it in any of their MV’s. I figured it was just a set item meant to symbolize how little he needs in his life because this was the last day of it.
&then I thought maybe it was Jungkook’s, since such importance was placed on it in INU & Yoonkook was a big focus in Prologue, but this wasn’t possible to prove at the time.
(Me & some theorist friends did joke that it was, because he wore it in Danger though.)
But that was still up to speculation, until there was full confirmation finally in RUN MV teaser, as Jungkook is seen wearing that plaid shirt with black plaid sleeves & a red plaid collar & backing. It was an interesting mix that eliminated any color discrepancies from the INU MV reflecting both possible colors. (since there were arguments of it being black or red plaid)
It’s a super charged scene even for a few seconds where Jungkook is seen furious and punching the hell out of Yoongi.
At first I wonder why they did his blood so weird, because I assumed it would be that, after taking a fist to the face & they changed the color to censor it. However, if they were going to pull an INU & have 2 versions they could’ve just had one with the blood splatter & one without. No need for the effort with questionable color.
Then @kharys told me that it might be alcohol & that makes sense judging from the solo cups & party atmosphere. So Yoongi was drinking, partying & destroying the house as well as himself- possibly even doing something reckless or dumb, &Jungkook just loses it.
Maybe there’s been pent up anger in Jungkook to see Yoongi’s escalating destructive behavior & he couldn’t handle it anymore. He couldn’t take watching Yoongi fall apart while being so close to him, but unable to help.
So Jungkook punches some sense into him, knocking the alcohol he’s drinking right from his mouth. Yoongi of course, angry that Jungkook hit him/or is trying to stop him, retaliates.
&that’s when we find Jungkook on the battered side, on the ground, in the scene below, as the aftermath. You can see the red solo cups are now scattered on the ground, with broken lamps & crushed flowers & remenants of the party (confirmed to be as it’s on their Instagram videos) all over the floor, so they probably went at it hard.
The place now seems empty with Jungkook left to (literally) reflect on his life & this moment as he stares at the mirror beside him.
&this got me thinking - if Jungkook is wearing the shirt when they had their epic fight & they stopped speaking to each other after- how does Yoongi have it in the room?
& then I realized it- after such an epic fight, Jungkook is left in a trashed & empty house, that he probably wants to get the hell out of, so where would he go?
This is Jungkook’s hotel room.
This is where, still upset, Jungkook went to change & patch himself up, before heading out for the fateful walk to try & process what’s happened.
The room was so sparse because Jungkook was probably too upset to take much with him- & Yoongi didn’t want to bring anything at all.
If you look close, Yoongi strokes the pillow then drops his arm in the empty spot, right where it folds over like someone just woke up & left on that side of the bed.
Psychologically, when you lose someone you love, it’s hard to close the last book they left open on the table or to put away their things. It’s hard to accept that they’re never coming back, leaving everything as they have left it.
Yoongi is also sleeping on top of the covers because he doesn’t want to disturb the last folds that Jungkook made in the bed before he died.
& Yoongi grieves by being close to where Jungkook’s last few moments were.
However you can visibly see that guilt starts to take root as the INU MV continues, as he continues.
The very emptiness of the room reminding him of the one thing he doesn’t want to think about: that Jungkook wasn’t coming back & that it’s his fault.
When Yoongi starts pouring the gasoline, he pours most of it on the bed- focused & never looking away from Jungkook’s side, completely resolute.
But when he’s done, he takes one last look around - almost hoping someone will come & stop him. But no one does.
So Yoongi travels through.
Fire has always been a symbol for purification & rebirth, & I think Yoongi chose it because he hopes it’ll cleanse him of his guilt of driving Jungkook away, ultimately to his death.
Yoongi never got to even apologize. So as retribution, if the last thing Jungkook saw before his body was broken is light- than that will be the last thing Yoongi sees before he burns.
The only thing that helps soften the blow of all this, is the fact that in the Prologue (afterlife) Jungkook & Yoongi have now found each other again & looks happier then ever- able to constantly be there to support each other. Yoongi keeps a hand on Jungkook or comes to find him to keep him from wandering off alone, while Jungkook keeps Yoongi from falling too far. Having lost each other once, I don’t think they’re letting it happen again.
So I’m excited ultimately with what’s going to happen next, since I guiltily enjoy my pairings with a side of emotional fist fights as well as all the face-melting smiles that both have when they’re around each other - whether people are looking or not.
Feel free to message me about any theory talk~
BTS Theoretical Master Post
*how Yoongi got into Jungkook’s hotel-
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