causality is complex

[mirrcr]

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FOR I DO NOT EXIST ⸻ there exist but the thousands of mirrors that reflect me. with every acquaintance i make, the population of phantoms resembling me increases. somewhere they live, somewhere they multiply. i alone do not exist.

MIRRCR ⸻ a highly selective, private, mutuals-only multi fandom multimuse, featuring canon and original characters, exploring where the person ends, and where the myth begins, a perception so strong it becomes the truth, charades and masquarades, and the strangness of space. adored and grown by odette ( 27, gmt-2, she/her ). rules and muses.

featured: juliana cucchi ( original crime based oc ), nikolai lantsov && peter parker

other blogs: @nursc, @reflecticcns (edits blog)

star trek portrayals heavily affiliated with: @owedfavors

[mirrcr]

someone bully me into writing here this saturday. this saturday i'm clearing at least 6 drafts here. no interruptions. no other blogs. i expect non-stop bullying. thank you.

[pathlit]

there are no arguments to make — on either's part — that they have not made times beyond reckoning. one day it will seem a foolish game, when age catches up and with it a dose of the reality they both flagrantly ignore. his impassioned protest only earns him a smile and lighthearted argument that could not sound serious even if she tried. ❛ you left me tied up for hours, when there was nowhere for me to go anyways. makes you complicit. ❜

she leans across the space between them as she speaks to kiss him, as if she had not just accused him. one day, perhaps, it will seem foolish, but elia does not think she will ever cease to be delighted by his faux indignation.

❛ but if you wish to keep your surprises, you must let me keep mine. I'm not telling you what I'm playing. ❜

[mirrcr]

❛⠀ so you agree i was an accessory to the crime, and not behind it?⠀ ❜⠀ did it really matter? whatever agreement they reached today -- which in their next argument they'd promptly dismantle it -- he got what he wanted out of the alleged kidnapping: a talent harpist, treasures that no other being had put their hands on for almost a century, and a way to cross treacherous waters that no other could replicate.

calloused finger curls around her brown hair, tugging her closer so he can steal another kiss when she's said her piece.

and there was this as well.

there wasn't much left in this world which could surprise the prince of ravka. much less a person. one single human being rarely had the gifts of altering anything; she could. it seemed the molecules of the world reflected back the goodness she offered freely, making everything a little more beautiful.

❛⠀ but how will i know when to pass handkerchiefs around? ⠀ ❜

[forgaeven1]

you are so careful, you know ? and she knows.

and it is deliberate. only in her mind had she ever still refer to him as klaus, and even then, she had been quick to reprimand herself. klaus was the boy she loved, and this— this was a man she had to be reintroduced to, wearing the shape of an old memory which had long fallen out of her grasp. she has to know him again like a sculptor would of its creation when the plaster slowly forms a face, when the build of it slowly reveals to her the man she had ought to know, the one she must dutifully respect : the king he has become.

after a while, it is not so torturous - this effort to distinguish between the two, even the few vulnerable moments rhea had allowed herself to link the two distant personalities in her mind and finally collide them as one. he still smiles the same, after all. his voice still carries in it the same humorous but kind lilt that she's thankful war hasn't robbed him off. for just those few precious moments, he would be the boy she loved who grew, just as much as she must be the girl he cherished who meets adulthood.

in those few endearing moments, there was no tragic separation which transpired between them. there was no awful marriages. there was no harrowing silent as the sea seems to stretch wider and wider than rhea thought possible upon his absence. simply old friends being that again - friends. good ones as well, where rhea casts no doubt on this alliance, where her faith was never tested as he gives her no reason to. only time of pleasant. and even when it wasn't, she knows he would not have abandoned her to face it alone.

he would make a fine husband, she thinks sharply, like a knife striking her through her ribs. it is usually a statement announced proudly, yet the realisation seems to drown her further in this building sorrow. rhea blinks, forcing her tears to not fall. she long has learnt that crying would serve her nothing, though she holds him tight, tighter if it were possible, as if she fears even a small release of this effort might have him slipped away from her again.

❛ you - ❜ her voice breaks ( pathetic ) before rhea tries again, blinking hard when she tries to push the words out. ( traitorous. if any of the lords back home would hear her, they would deem her salacious and unlawful. they would stripe away all her credibility. it matters not if her husband had taken with him many ladies to his bed. she would be the villain in his story. she would be, always, the imperfect bride. ) ❛ you always have. ❜

rhea moves. she breathes, slow, an inhale, before her lips ghost over - it mouths at his jaw, then another, a kiss where his pulse begins.

❛ stay with me. ❜

[mirrcr]

if only that were true.

nikolai doesn’t believe she is lying. his rhea is far too honest to deceive anyone, a simple, honest country-girl underneath the trappings of nobility. her touch is fleeting, a ghost of a caress against his jaw that he feels everywhere, his entire body coming alive to respond. this moment is diametrically opposite to their last kiss, they were kids then. there is no frenzied press of mouths as his hands tighten around her waist to bring her closer, bodies molding together in an intimate embrace. there is no desperation as tilts his head upward, nose trailing a line next to hers until his lips brush against her chin, a tantalizing millimeter away from the one place in the world he could not explore.

and if only it were that simple.

his lips hover over hers, hazel eyes watching something he only pictured in his dreams come to reality. rhea, in his arms, in his hand, wanting him. and the reality was... a dream within a nightmare. finally he had everything he ever desired; the crown, peace, and rhea within his grasp, and to hold on to one, he’d need to let go of another. there was no rhea and the crown. no lasting peace without his marriage to elisabeta, and no rhea if he went through with this.

❛⠀ as you are mine, ⠀ ❜ ⠀ from the moment he stepped onto the shore of westeros more than a decade ago, the brown-eyed girl who grabbed his hand when no one was looking to show him her new bow, had been his. even after he left, even after another man claimed her as his wife. for the first time, their bodies reflected their souls — he couldn’t tell where he started, and where she ended, he’d always selfishly carried a part of her back with him to ravka. with each trip, he took a little bit more, greedy beneath his dazzling facade.

which is why there is no other option but to kiss her now. there was never another ending to this story. from the moment her ship appeared on the horizon and she spoke his name, he knew there was no other way this could end but with her in his arms, his lips caressing hers as he greedily plotted how to keep everything he needed, and everything he loved.

[pathlit]

❛ I always had a choice? ❜ she repeats, coming to perch upon the edge of the bed as she slips her second earring into place. ❛ now, who was it again who kidnapped me? ❜ since then, perhaps, he might argue she has always had a choice. she has scarcely needed one, a fact he has taken full advantage of in showing up with her bags packed, announcing that they are going somewhere.

some day, she may cease to remind him of how they met, but not today.

❛ but you ought to give me warning when you're coming if you want me to play your favorites. ❜ as if she does not always have one or two ( along, often, with a new addition to her repertoire — one she thinks might become a new favorite ) on her program, just in case.

[mirrcr]

❛⠀ shows how much you pay attention, miss eliana! ⠀ ❜ ⠀ pressing a hand to his chest, he begins re-litigating the first argument they ever had, as always passionate about his righteousness ( at least until he remembers he has something more important to do ). ⠀ ❛⠀ did i grab you? did i throw you in a sack? no. i ordered someone to invite you to spend a few weeks on my boat. their method was wholly their own.⠀ ❜

with some encouragement from him. a strict reminder that if they didn’t come back with the best harpist alive, they shouldn’t even come back, probably influenced their decision to kidnap her. probably. he is not a kidnapper. how should he know how their twisted minds work?

❛⠀ and ruin the surprise?⠀ ❜

[owedfavors]

❛ honesty has never been my strong suit. ❜ she speaks with an air of definitiveness that adds, unspoken, and you know it to the end of her sentence. with anyone else to whom she had told as many lies and as many half-truths as she has to him, she might fear that the reminder would dredge up old bitterness. if he had ever held it against her for more than a few sparse days, however, she would not be sitting here.

with him, if anything, she merely hands him ammunition to wield against her in one of their nonsensical games.

she claims herself ill-suited to telling tales, and yet she has done so for decades with remarkable accuracy. truths carefully masked by statements that were not quite lies, actions taken to offer herself cover. she had kept as much from her commanding officers, and from starfleet itself, as she had from those from whom starfeet sought information when they pulled her from ships for short-lived intelligence operations. ❛ well, then. I suppose I must tell the story of a very tedious, stubborn miller and his very vain wife, who, upon the overthrow of their former king and queen, sought to manipulate the neighboring kingdom into intervening and instating them as the new monarchs. ❜

starfleet had never even gotten word of those efforts; they had never reached further than section 31, intercepted and averted. with less bloodshed than her superiors had anticipated, though at this point, una does not know what they expect when they send her. ❛ frankly, the story is as tedious as the miller, chris. you're better off without it. ❜

[mirrcr]

a more accurate description was that una was proficient in half-truths. rarely did she wonder into the realm of lies. when the situation forced her hand, she didn’t sidestep into a lie in order to shield herself from the possibility of discovery, nothing as simple as that would suit her. no, she found something else to say. a distraction, or something that was technically the truth, even if it wasn’t the truth he was looking for.

no, the actual lies he could count at the back of his hand. it was when he pushed and choose to look beyond those charming sentences, the illusion she spun, that she stepped into the realm of lies.

❛⠀⠀⠀i doubt that, ⠀ ⠀ ❜ ⠀ ⠀ sure, the political machinations of off-worlders never particularly interested him, there was a reason why he and bob had a gentleman’s agreement to keep him away from diplomatic missions. talented in the field or not, he had a particular distaste for it, and unlike una, he wasn’t particularly comfortable with spinning tales.

but he didn't ask because he was curious about what section 31 was doing. it was her. what she was up-to, if she was happy or not. and knowing as he does that asking directly won't provide him an answer, the best next thing is reading in between the lines of the story of the miller and his very vain wife.

so far, he thinks she's bored.

❛⠀⠀⠀a tedious king... hmm, as the first in his line? that's improbable. ⠀ ⠀ ❜ ⠀

[owedfavors]

she had had the situation well in hand, save for in any way expecting christopher pike to abide by her instructions request to stay their course and not embroil themselves in the matter. sometimes, optimism gets the better even of her. raising a single eyebrow, she crosses her arms before her. ❛ I gave you those instructions in person for years, chris, and it never did me the slightest good. ❜ arguably, she ought merely to have given up by now, conceded the impossibility of keeping him out of trouble, keeping him safe.

then, she had been there to ensure that safety in dozens of ways, her influence subtle yet undeniable in how she manipulated each situation such that, no matter what nonsense he resorted to, she had a back up plan to minimize the damage done. ( when she had not been retorting to plans that, at least on the surface, were no less absurd, that was. )

now, she only wishes the words she repeated to him for a decade would stick even in her absence, lingering with an indelible influence as his own voice has with her.

but some things she has never been able to influence.

❛ perhaps, if it struck you as unusual, you ought to have reread the instructions, which I assure you were perfectly clear. they were, after all, written by me. ❜ and she is nothing if not impeccably precise.

[mirrcr]

❛⠀⠀⠀oh well, i was never a good student, ⠀ ❜ ⠀ chris quip back, knowing full-well that she probably has — for reasons that are beyond his understanding -- his grades tucked away somewhere on her mind. just like he has hers, though his reasons are quite simple: he got better grades in a few subjects, and when he has no arguments left, those make great little bombs he can throw in the middle of a sentence to completely derail what they were supposed to be talking about.

though, perhaps, the mistake was hers. believing that after this long, a written note could prevent him from putting himself in harm’s way if he thought it was the right thing to do.

❛⠀⠀⠀if the instruction is so clear, how come you had to repeat it for ten years? i think there is a fault in your logic there. ⠀ ❜ ⠀ a pause, his grin widening, old-fashioned all american-charm practically oozing from the innocent-looking smile. ⠀ ❛⠀⠀⠀just a thought. ⠀ ❜

[astremourante-deactivated202402]

#girlgang

@nursc @mirrcr @jewelstealr

[mirrcr]

☀ + ❀

☀ What's your rp pet peeve?

people following you several times in order to you to follow them back. like they follow you, you don't follow them back, and then a few weeks later they follow you once more. and like, the biggest problem about this is... i think... is that i once followed a person like this back and they were probably one of the most toxic partners i've ever had. like, following someone several times just shows a certain level of... obsessiveness which usually leads to a bad situation. like, when someone doesn't follow me back, i just unfollow and move on with my life. is there a chance i might follow them again later if i forget i follow them once? yeah, it happens! but with these people, you know it is not an accident, that it is something they are doing in order to trap you. also!! liking starter calls, sending memes, but never continuing threads?? no thread lasts more than two replies?? but they keep asking for more starters??

❀ What has made you completely lose your chill?

hmmm, i think being misunderstood. and in a negative light. i won't go into detail, but i recently discovered someone misunderstood my actions in a very negative way, and while i've moved on and try not to think about it, the fact there is someone out there who has such a ?? distaste for me made me feel very sad for a few days. i try not to get mad when it comes to tumblr rp, and like, 90% of the time i can achieve that, so i think its more often i grow sad than angry. real anger? hmmm, i can't really remember tbh? i probably erased it from my mind. i certainly remember the anger, but not what made me angry.

[batboyzloverz-deactivated202503]

[justrpmemesandmusings]

the salty af munday meme

Because, like it or not, we're not all balls of sunshine all the time. We can be pure salt when we want to be.

☠ What does someone have to do for an instant unfollow from you?

♥ What's the WORST thing that has happened to you rp wise?

♦ What was a mildly annoying thing that has happened to you rp wise?

♢ Has anyone ever tried to steal your blog? Your headcanons? Icons? All that jazz

♚ How many people don't like you?

⚜ How many people do you not like?

✮ Have you managed to stay away from drama?

☄ Have you ever been in the middle of drama?

☯ Have you ever tried to bring peace to a situation?

☼ How long do you stay mad?

☀ What's your rp pet peeve?

☁ Have you ever forgiven a partner when you shouldn't have?

☂ Have you ever been forgiven when you knew you shouldn't have been?

☢ What fads/trends are you so over?

☣ Have you ever rp'd with someone you knew for a fact was abusive but tried to give them a chance/to make up your own opinion on the roleplayer? Did they change or did you understand what people were talking about?

♨ Have you ever made a public call out post?

❀ What has made you completely lose your chill?

✿ What do you think about public call out posts?

✂ A fandom that you feel isn't open and accepting?

✉ A fandom that you feel is open and accepting?

✦ Thoughts on duplicates following you?

✧ Do you agree with reblog karma or is it forced interaction?

❥ Has someone ever ruined an FC or character for you?

❦ Has someone been jealous of you?

❧ Have you ever been jealous of anyone?

✖ How has Tumblr RP changed since you started?

♒ Thoughts on the fandom you're currently rping in?

❣ How salty are you feeling right now?

[astremourante-deactivated202402]

Amelia placed herself directly between Juliana and the threat. Digging her heels in, she stood tall and firm. Her expression was even, looking relaxed in the face of sudden danger. Her eyes flickered rapidly between targets, routes, tools. In her head, Amelia orchestrated their deaths dozens of different ways.

The small voice from behind, and Juliana's delicate fingers at her waist peeled the assassin's focus momentarily from the chaos. ❝ Really ? Thanks. I wasn't thinking of starting with him. ❞ But when she didn't move, Amelia angled her body to face her and offered a comforting smile. ❝ Hey now, ❞ she tried to soothe, reaching to tilt Juliana's chin up with a single finger. ❝ Relax, Jellybean. You got us this far. It's my turn, and this is what I do. Do I look worried ? ❞

She didn't. Every inch of her appeared confident, at ease. There was only one worry and it stood right behind her. Amelia couldn't do her best if a piece of her was always focused here, making sure Juliana was safe and alive. She was the most important thing here.

It also felt impossible to act beneath her gaze. You couldn't hide anything from Juliana, those big eyes didn't miss a thing. Amelia didn't think she could stand being seen for the monster she actually was, the terrible and gruesome things she was capable of doing.

❝ Go somewhere safe. I'll find you right after - this will only be a sec. I'll mop the floor with these guys - ❞ Lifting her pinky, Amelia wiggled it. ❝ Thirty minutes, not even. Pinky Promise. ❞

[mirrcr]

black, searching gaze flickers between the upturned finger, those steely green eyes, so fearless, and the men who are watching them with an air of confusion. for the first time this night, she understands them, being torn herself. stay. go. abandon amélia. leave amélia in order to save them both. these are far too many unanswered variables, and not even her computer of a brain, with its thousand little schemes and calculations, can figure out which direction she should go.

the fact is, it is not just her brain she is listening to tonight. no. someone else has entered the scene. a useless, abandoned little organ she stopped caring for ages ago. it'd led her right down to her first jail cell. almost destroyed her life and tonight it told her to stand between amélia and those guns, damn the consequences.

and it is that speech, coming from that silvery voice, that tells her where she should go. she won't follow it. it's never, in her life, led her down the correct path.

finger twists around amélia's, curling around it like a vice grip. lifting both their hands, she presses a kiss to her bruised knuckles, red lips leaving behind a new bruise.

❛⠀ i'll hold you to it. ⠀ ❜ ⠀ without saying what she'll want as a reward, should amélia be late, juliana drops her finger and runs. runs fast and impossibly quick, the click of her heels echoing as the men realize what happened. and she never, ever, looks back.

[pathlit]

⤷ ✧ @mirrcr said, ❝ would you run away with me? ❞ from nikolai.

they are no strangers to the absurd, and by comparison the question scarcely deserves the label. ❛ I get a choice this time? ❜ on another's lips, the question might seem arch, yet she all but laughs it, delighted even as she teases. she has not kept a running tally of the growing number of times he has stolen her away with him, few days snatched from other responsibilities.

❛ not today, ❜ she offers by way of answer, faux-stern as if the words are not also an implied absolutely. ❛ I am not missing tonight's concert, and I am not missing tomorrow's festival. ❜ it was, after all, the entirety of the reason she'd arranged her schedule to bring her here now, and not in another month. she drops the effort at maintaining even a semblance of serious demeanor, her ever-quick smile returning almost immediately. ❛ then, I'm all yours. ❜

[mirrcr]

❛⠀ you always had a choice, ⠀ ❜ ⠀ lounging in her bed, he is the very picture of decadence: wind-swept hair, cheeks slightly burnt from the afternoon sun, giving him a roguish, unkept look, silk shirt rumpled. half-pirate, half-prince, neither of which is very fond of the idea of staying another two days in this town.

however... he doesn't protest. he doesn't point out to her that the winds today are swooping in from the south and they could be on another continent within three hours, enjoying a brand new day. nikolai, instead, merely sighs, bottom-lip jutting out.

❛⠀ playing any of my favorites tonight? ⠀ ❜

[astraldestiny]

She hated him, she really did and yet letting him walk of all on his own while she would have her peace didn't sit right with either. Guess that was that thing the people here called a CONSCIOUS, that very thing her own people had tried beating out of her as a teenager. Still, the smile he flashed her made her want to kick him.

" You're awful, you know that? " And yet here she was anyway, closing the shuttle door behind her as he had asked her too. Was this whole thing a bad idea? Probably, but at least if she was saving Henry's sorry ass she would have something to do that wasn't doing the same handful of security checks over and over and over again every SINGLE day.

Sure, it was nice that this universe was a lot calmer and stable than her own, but it couldn't always keep the BOREDOM at bay that she felt whenever they went without an incident for weeks on end. " So, what exactly is it that you're up to anyway? "

[mirrcr]

henry doesn’t even bother with mock-offense, simply grins in acquiescence and continues programming the shuttle for take-off. she always said the nicest things to him. you’re awful. you’re useless. did you know i could kill you right where you stand? for her birthday, he is planning on stringing some of these little pretty sentences together in a poem.

all those lessons about shakespeare, keats and wordsworth might come in handy, finally. before, he thought their purpose was to woo women. now he knew better. it was to annoy the living shit out of them.

❛⠀ i’m visiting a friend. he lives nearby. maybe you’ve heard of the planet — bravo iv? no? oh well, it’s in cardassian territory. ⠀ ❜

[forgaeven1]

❛ and utterly, miserably lonely. ❜

there it was, wasn't it ? peel off the hard shells of the armour she has had to build in the face of her lord husband's anger, the injustice of a marriage unfulfilled by a royal family who could not care any less, that was the truth of the matter, wasn't it ? most of the things in her life had a chance of moving on, of finding its places, of intermingling with time. runestone prospered, the seven kingdoms unrelentingly age, and even its king, at the wake of his wife's death, finds himself a second wife.

rhea seems to have always stuck in the same damned place. aye, she keeps herself busy. she ascended her father's seat. she tend to matters of her townsfolk day after day, a hard work she relishes and thrives in, though it still would not erase the quiet of her chamber, hauntingly empty of a spouse, sometimes feeling as though she was reliving the very first night when he had ought to grace their marriage bed, but he did not. she had still waited. and waited. and, in some ways, is still waiting.

though she would imagine klaus — nikolai, some part of her corrects, always the proper type, though another part chides : had it mattered ? whatever name he might bore, is it not the same warmth that he carries ? is it not the same companionship she'd been slowly seeking out, quite greedily, since she has arrived here ? — would not as cruel. surely he would not leave his attended so alone. surely, any lady in his presence would not bear such neglect, would not dare to inflict upon him misery.

not all marriages are funerals, not all marriages are like hers. he is a good man. perhaps he will find happiness in this. he is an inventor. maybe even joy is not out of the realm of his crafting possibility. and yet —

❛ alina starkov was a fool, ❜ she protests, voice hard and protective despite the affection she knows he holds for her, but she could not help it. rhea noses into his hair, an intimate act she, still by all means married, should not have divulged — but for once, she heeds tradition no mind. in ravka, at least, she has no need to uphold some family's legacy or reputation. she falls for the brush of his lips against the skin of her neck; she freely shivers. and then, in an abrupt act of reckless, she takes his face. she holds it between her two pale hands. ❛ please. please, klaus. ❜

her voice breaks; her lips wobble.

❛ you are king, you— please. i've only just gotten you back. properly. must the world have you again so soon ? ❜

stay with me. stay. @mirrcr

[mirrcr]

he's been alone his entire life. why should marriage be any different?

he's never been lonely, not truly. far too entertained by his own wandering thoughts, the creations he spins into existence, and the worlds he found in his library. in the latter, he found solace when the castle seemed uninterested in the existence of the small blonde spare; there was never any judgement, any expectations from those carefully bound worlds. it became a second life for him. a place for him to go when his own seemed lacking. to learn the skills he would one day need to restructure the world around him in his own image.

when the world didn't accept him, he found another one. just like he'd found her in a distant shore. a place he should never have been in, perhaps. a dangerous continent, filled with petty thievery between what were supposed to be noble houses, and right in the middle, concealed by his own expertise, was one of the princes of ravka, playing pirates with his wildling lady.

just like the worlds in those books, she beckoned him. the memories of their adventures curling around him when the castle grew cold, reminding him that happiness was not something which just existed in storybooks. it was real, palpable and fit into the palm of his hand.

❛⠀ that is santka alina, for you. ⠀ ❜ ⠀ reproach is mild, quiet, lacking his usual humor. alina's rejection cutting him deeper than he'd ever admit. if she was his queen, it would be simple. he would have the security elisabeta's family promised his reign, with the love he felt for rhea. a perfect storybook queen: warrior princess, saint, and most importantly, lovely.

of course she wasn't his. never belonged to him, even when she wore his ring on her finger. no. she was far away, in a countryside cottage with her tracker, where loneliness or unhappiness would never touch her again.

hazel eyes lift to meet hers, bare of any mask in her hands.

❛⠀ you haven't called me that since you arrived. you are so careful, you know? i thought i'd never hear you say it again. ⠀ ❜ ⠀ nikolai muses, leaning into her touch, stirred by her plea, but still determined to go through it.

there was no other option. after all, she could touch him now, hid from the world, but rhea might as well be in that happy cottage he pictured so often. she wasn't his to keep.

❛⠀ am i yours? at this moment, tell me. do i belong to you? ⠀ ❜

[dearemma]

STAR TREK: DISCOVERY New Eden

[mirrcr]

related to my plotting call, but also just specific wish... two people who have been working together for so long, while also being in love, that both of them sort of know it at this point??