Mirror Mirror On The Wall

30 🏳️‍🌈 she/her ficwriter with brain rot 🚫ruzzians dni🚫

[mirrorlikehuntress]

Damaged like me

Astarion x f!Dark Urge

After the final fight, with the tadpoles gone and dust settled, the tenderness of their love begins to show the cracks under the pressure of newly gained popularity and attention from the public. Yet, foolishly, they try to resemble a perfect couple as much as they can, while battling their own nightmares in private.

Rating: 18+

Characters: Astarion x f!Dark Urge, Shadowheart, Wyll, Jaheira, Karlach

General warnings: cursing, alcohol, dub!con because Haarlep, they both are traumatized, angst, miscarriage, eventual happy ending

Link to AO3

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

[mirrorlikehuntress]

I have what feels like a week long headache that just does not let up, so instead of writing/editing Damaged, I am writing and AU where Ceseere is dead, and her soul got thrown into a bookshop keeper. It's much lighter, so it helps me not to think too much of how fucked up Ceseere and Astarion's lives are after the BG3 final. But again. Headache. It sucks.

[mirrorlikehuntress]

Me, opening up the doc with Damaged flashbacks: oh, I started it January 17th, last year! Nice!

But it was started 17/01/24. Two years ago.

What is time anyway 🫠

[mirrorlikehuntress]

Also, the inspiration bit me in the right time, since the next two days I have exams, so at least I am not worrying about them, I'm worrying about Astarion and Ceseere. Who said that writing is not therapy? Right, no one.

[mirrorlikehuntress]

One exam down, tomorrow is the last one. I will be free!

Also, had a dream where I talked with Ceseere. But she was happy, smiling and everything.

Once I'm done with school, I'll play again. I miss her.

[mirrorlikehuntress]

Me, opening up the doc with Damaged flashbacks: oh, I started it January 17th, last year! Nice!

But it was started 17/01/24. Two years ago.

What is time anyway 🫠

[mirrorlikehuntress]

Also, the inspiration bit me in the right time, since the next two days I have exams, so at least I am not worrying about them, I'm worrying about Astarion and Ceseere. Who said that writing is not therapy? Right, no one.

[mirrorlikehuntress]

Me, opening up the doc with Damaged flashbacks: oh, I started it January 17th, last year! Nice!

But it was started 17/01/24. Two years ago.

What is time anyway 🫠

[mirrorlikehuntress]

Ceseere: got killed by Bhaal, revived.

Wyll: I'm so proud of you bestie. Lets open the best wine to celebrate!

Shadowheart: You had won! You bested your demons! Great job!

Astarion: Yeah, uh. It's was... Fun. Good thing that skeleton appeared, isn't it? Anyway. Can we go now?

He was so fucking scared of losing her, he just went completely numb, dissociating. I mean, he had been so supportive of Ceseere leaving Bhaal before. "You are no monster." I'm crying 😭

[mirrorlikehuntress]

Hoped to post 7th chapter today, but apparently I only edited 1/4 of it.

Why is it so fucking long 😭

[mirrorlikehuntress]

40 pages. The seventh chapter is 40 pages. And I'm still editing it. Granted, there is a variant ending I had written to put in depending on the mood, and a lot of things needs to be edited still. Why am I doing this to myself.

[mirrorlikehuntress]

Hoped to post 7th chapter today, but apparently I only edited 1/4 of it.

Why is it so fucking long 😭

[mirrorlikehuntress]

Opened the doc to write some fic. Found there only chapter 7. Panicked scrolled up and down, hoping it's just got bugged or something, and others will appear, but no. Nothing. I thought it got deleted as before.

Then read the name of the doc, and it was just 7th chapter that I'm editing to post, not the doc with the whole fic.

I need rest.

[mirrorlikehuntress]

Araj: I have exciting news about your blood!

Ceseere: *if she says I'm pregnant here, with Astarion so close, I'll throttle her* If you kill me with your experiments-

Astarion: Well, death never stopped me before.

Ceseere: I like your thinking.

Karlach and Wyll:

Freaks, the two of them.

[mirrorlikehuntress]

Astarion: You made me realise I can be better. That I'm enough as I am, without the power the Ritual offered. Thank you.

Ceseere, who thinks she should take what Bhaal's offers to protect Astarion: Huh.

Astarion: what

Ceseere: No, nothing. It's fine. Everything is fine. I'm certainly did not entertain idea of becoming a bloodthirsty hound for a slaughter god so I could protect you.

Astarion: perhaps I should've Ascended then.

The truth is - if they chose another pass, they would've destroyed each other. But, yeah. The parallels.

[mirrorlikehuntress]

Araj: I have exciting news about your blood!

Ceseere: *if she says I'm pregnant here, with Astarion so close, I'll throttle her* If you kill me with your experiments-

Astarion: Well, death never stopped me before.

Ceseere: I like your thinking.

Karlach and Wyll:

Freaks, the two of them.

[mirrorlikehuntress]

Ceseere: I will kill you if you do not do something about it. Hurry, I'm lossing control.

Astarion: Why haven't you told me? We are supposedly in this together! What do you mean some dark power inside you urges you to kill me? I thought I was the only dark power inside of you! Poor Alfira, if you stood above her the same way, I understand why-

Ceseere:

[mirrorlikehuntress]

Interesting what did Astarion thought all that time standing behind Ceseere while that Bonedaughter was telling Ceseere how she cut her in pieces and tortured her and held her hostage for who knows how long.

And then urged her to let him Ascend, so he could protect her.

I hate those two so much.

[mirrorlikehuntress]

I'm losing my mind. Ceseere was turned to CHEESE WHEEL and then she was rolling around saying "Time to press ahead" IM DYING ITS SO FUNNY

[mirrorlikehuntress]

Astarion: This should be easy.

Astarion: *fails four times*

Ceseere: I do not see it.

Idiots

[mirrorlikehuntress]

I present you - Ukrainians being once again the funniest and the most fun people.

I'm dying

[mirrorlikehuntress]

Ceseere: I will kill you if you do not do something about it. Hurry, I'm lossing control.

Astarion: Why haven't you told me? We are supposedly in this together! What do you mean some dark power inside you urges you to kill me? I thought I was the only dark power inside of you! Poor Alfira, if you stood above her the same way, I understand why-

Ceseere:

[mirrorlikehuntress]

Next chapter for now is 17k words. And it's not yet finished. It had been sitting this way for two years.