i see some folks in the comments claiming they don’t got a problem with anyone’s ship as long as some behaviors are not “romanticized”. i get that.
but that “romanticization” is still a consequence of purity culture. fans tend to woobify characters or dynamics because they have been taught and trained that they’re not allowed to interact with these things unless they first transform them into Wholesome digestible products. so for instance, some (i said some) thirsty hoes will turn kylo ren into this “cinnamon roll” and not acknowledge his shortcomings as a way to cope with the infallible discourse that you must only enjoy Good Things. by turning him into a Romantic Good Guy, they think they solve the problem. they don’t, and i would argue that u gotta own your trash/dark ship by acknowledging its pitfalls and maintaining character depth - otherwise, you’re not rly enjoying that dark ship, but rather a falsified white-washed version of it that would promote not just abusive behaviors, but poor critical thinking (and just ummm bad taste? lol i’m a snob)
What should be relearned is how to properly enjoy villains and ambiguous dynamics, without rendering them null and void. again, purity culture and Patriarchy encourage a kind of bourgeois morality that is difficult to attain and maintain, because we’re just dumb folks. we suck. we don’t always make the best of choices. so, in a skewered attempt to be faithful to empty ethical tenets, we shortchange our fictional characters and turn them into Good Guys, thus appearing to “excuse” all their negative traits. and that can give some fandoms a bad name. but the solution isn’t to shame them into submission. Telling someone “hey, your ship is abusive, so you shouldn’t ship it :)” doesn’t do a goddamn thing. Start with “the way you write/portray that ship simplifies the dynamic here” and you’ll get more results if you really wanna start a dialogue.
ofc, there are some fools who don’t wanna have a dialogue, and they will tell you that you can actually make yourself stop liking a thing just because they said it. ignore those fools. and pray to god they don’t get into office. because they’ll probably ban any kind of literature that doesn’t adhere to 100% organic granola aesthetics.