[beemovieerotica]

please vote for tylenol to have her face on a beer can $1 for 1 vote and the donation goes to the baltimore animal rescue and care shelter

[dogpuppy]

[nineteenyearoldmeblog]

im fucking crying

[vulcanette-deactivated20260506]

the new dj crazytimes song … now that’s what I call music!

[i-fuck-audis]

MY FUCKING CAR

[philcollinsenjoyer]

explained to an 8 year old that once a fruit is ripe you only have so much time until it rots so you have to eat it soon and she said so i'll never be able to keep it perfect like this forever? no and there are about a million pieces of art for you unrelatedly

[sharkodactyl]

moment of unspeakable beauty today when one of my coworkers called another coworker "judas" for not splitting a can of white monster with her, and i got to watch the guy who sits next to me open a new google tab, type in "jeudis," and say quietly to himself "french thursday...?"

[maja-paja]

[wyrmicelli]

me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

[snowown]

[teathattast]

[hitmyvape-deactivated20251006]

how my coworker gave me a cigarette yesterday

[sculien]

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS 6.09

[anywhoozles]

[segamascott]

erika kirk being handed the golden opportunity to be the face of conservatives for the rest of her life and then fumbling it instantly by being genuinely unlikable and off-putting will always be funny to me almost as funny as remembering that charlie kirk got shot in the neck and died

[baeddoll]

you betrayed everyhting you stand for and all you got in return was a kickass sword and ability to start fires with your mind and d cups. pretty good deal !

[hppjmxrgosg]

"going out to get milk" is a common turn of phrase used to describe a man abandoning his family.

the "milkman" is a common figure in stories depicting a woman's infidelity and adulterous affair.

this implies that the ability to provide milk would both decrease the likelihood of a man abandoning his wife and children, as it would eliminate the need for leaving to get milk AND would secure that man's marriage, as his wife would have no need to seek milk from an extraneous source.

therefore, all men should produce milk, through various means such as:

- being a cow

- being an almond

- being a woman

- being a coconut

- being in the omegaverse

- being an oat

(list is exemplary and not finite)

in this essay, i will redefine the nuclear family and explain the seductive and inflammatory nature of the 1993 "Got Milk?" commercials.

[hppjmxrgosg]

you shut your mouth.

[json-derulo]

for sale: Baby Shoes Stylish Infant Boy Girl Unisex First Walker Shoes Toddler Walking Crib Shoes Lightweight Non-Slip Sneakers For 6 9 12 18 24 Months Baby Shoes New With Tags New In Box Excellent Condition Never Worn

[quasi-normalcy]

Why do so many Japanese urban legends seem to involve a dialogue tree that you need to follow very carefully?

[quasi-normalcy]

It's just the interactive element that seems characteristic. Like I hear a claim that, at some point, "everyone dreams of a village littered with blue corpses, and if they trip and fall then they will die in their sleep and become one of them" and ai just immediately know before I even check that, yes, this urban legend originated in Japan.

[lizardsfromspace]

[quasi-normalcy]

"Am I pretty?"

"I don't know, you're wearing a mask."

"How about now?"

"...I'd say you're a definite four--" (*remembers that four is bad luck in East Asia because it sounds like death*) "FIVE! I meant five! Definitely meant five!"

[sistersorrow]

According to Wikipedia, that could actually work according to some versions of the legend

"You're kinda mid, tbh" or "I don't have time for questions" are both valid responses

Maybe chuck some Werther's Originals at her for safe measure

[thefloatingstone]