So, I believe most of this is probably true enough wrt character designs and those youtubers and that being an awful part of your life, but I have a few questions:
1) Why does how hurt you are by these things seem to be more important than how hurt fans have been by your actions?
However much you’ve apparently changed in the past few years, it doesn’t undo the shock and distrust fans/former fans feel after learning about the “cringey” things you drew.
If you’ve really changed so much, your biggest concern should be about how you’ve hurt others, not how they’ve hurt you.
2) Is the age in your header correct? Are you currently 23?
You say you drew your characters, who are children, being sexualized by other, adult characters and abusing animals, also in a sexual context, 4 years ago?
4 years is not so significant a time that you should expect people to trust or forgive you, especially when you’re now describing these things as just “cringey” and trying to absolve yourself because you were a 19 year old “kid”.
You were a goddamn adult. Yeah, to me, in most contexts, you would have just been a stupid kid, but this is not most contexts. This is you, at 19, sexualizing underage characters. Not only is that deplorable in and of itself, you then chose to share that shit online, exposing others to it.
I did stupid shit when I was 19-20 too, but I also didn’t build myself a young, trusting, devoted, impressionable following and expose people to my very fucked up mistakes.
I’m not trying to be self righteous here, I’m trying to tell you that people are rightly hurt and appalled. Those people sharing this information so they can decide for themselves if it ruins their enjoyment of your work or not IS WITHIN THEIR RIGHT and they are not forcing anyone to cancel you by doing so.
You know what they can do if they can’t stand seeing people enjoying and supporting your content? They block those people! And yeah, some people’s opinions of you will be influenced by whether or not they think your content is worth losing friends and followers over! But no one, and I mean literally NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON is forcing anyone to do anything by sharing callouts about you.
If you’d approached this differently, I might have been inclined to not give a fuck one way or another aboit Hazbin Hotel or you. But you wrote this long ass sob story about how victimized you are by people being upset with shit you in fact did do. And now any sympathy or apathy I might have felt is gone.
You’re right that some of what’s in the callout is exaggerated, unnecessary, incomplete wrt facts, or even downright ridiculous(tracing animation memes like ME ME ME or drawing an homage to cats don’t dance is not problematic, i literally cannot fathom why that is in the callout), but you still drew zoophilic, pedophilic, seriously nasty shit and had a goddamn hissy fit when people were justifiably and vocally upset by it, and you still have not shown satisfactory growth in taking responsibility, truly owning up to how gravely unacceptable these things were, and showing you are now a trustworthy, decent person.
Forgiveness takes time. Trust takes time. Change takes time. And all of these require consistency and transparency. You cannot expect people to forget or forgive when YOU decide it’s been long enough. For some people it will never be long enough. And you have to accept that. That acceptance would be the first real sign of good faith that you have grown and genuinely changed.
I don’t see that in this post.