I do not know whether the night is a dream

Side blog. Place for my personal depressive/body image struggles. I am not pro-ED nor promote unhealthy coping behaviours.

[misery-loves-coffee]

Going to graduation where I will have to play perfect, pretty, star student princess with my"loving and proud" parents makes me want to throw up. The thought of walking across the stage, picking up the diploma and awards that I sacrificed my physical and mental well-being for, with the people who constantly abuse and neglect me... I'm not proud about graduating. I'm just tired and ready to be done with it all.

[averagefairy]

hows everyone doing so far this semester?? good? feeling inferior to your classmates yet?? overcome with self doubt and coping with stress in unhealthy and destructive ways? Fantastic me too

[averagefairy]

hows everyone doing so far this semester?? good? feeling inferior to your classmates yet?? overcome with self doubt and coping with stress in unhealthy and destructive ways? Fantastic me too

[skittey]

[sheismysquishy]

Do you ever just lay in bed and realize how not okay you are

[lostedsoulthings]

You don’t know how it feels to realize you’re not even worth an answer

Don’t tell me you understand (via lostedsoulthings)

I exist too much, I feel too much, think too much. Reality is crushing the life out of me.

[misery-loves-coffee]

David Jones, Love and Space Dust (via books-n-quotes)

[tierdropp]

[bluevintagelove]

[112-90]

💕

[pr3tty--girls]

* 🎀 *

[heavenlythin]

[ilovelisabetch]

[traumasurvivors]

It doesn’t matter if your abuser is blood related.  It doesn’t matter if your abuser is mentally ill.  It doesn’t matter if your abuser was abused themselves.  You are under no obligation to forgive them and you are allowed to be angry. You are justified in how you feel, and you are valid. 

[misery-loves-coffee]

Pretty hurts? Try being ugly.

[leidgott]

[misery-loves-coffee]

Some days it feels like I'm losing everything except weight.

[thedaintyperfection]

first day back at school

i had my first day back a school a few weeks ago. throughout this entire summer i’ve lost around 8-9 kg (17.6-19.8 lbs), and literally people i hadn’t talked to in years stopped in the halls to tell me how i’ve lost so much weight.

i cannot describe how i felt when i walked to homeroom and people’s jaws literally dropped at the sight of me, my friends’ eyes widened, and so many people came up and made sure that it was me they were looking at. 

my teachers have noticed, they all greeted me with smiles and told me how healthy i look now that i’ve lost the weight.

people looked at me in envy, i got a dozen questions like, “how did you do it?”, “how did you get so skinny?” and i just replied with a shrug and a shy smile.

people noticed me. for the very first time people noticed me.

that, my friends, is what weight loss can do.

you can do it too.