miss mcbotty.

"I want to be young and wild, and then I want to be middle-aged and rich, and then I want to be old and annoy people by pretending that I'm going deaf!"

[cyphir-spacerobot]

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

[koiagain]

[phantomrose96]

When you meet Edward Elric he gives off the impression that he's the short-tempered hot-headed "violence is the answer to all life's questions" kind of protagonist, and it's in fact incredible character craft that he's actually the character who ends the series with a negative-3 kill count.

[phantomrose96]

people killed: 0

direct orders of "you really really need to kill this guy" ignored: 1

ongoing murders being committed by Ed's own friends/colleagues that Ed got in the way of to specifically stop that murder from happening: 2

[phantomrose96]

God's worst soldier Edward Elric. Showed up as the youngest member of the Amestrian army, took millions of dollars from them, never followed a single order, helped dismantle their fascist regime, left with a lower kill count than he arrived with, then fucked off to go be a house-husband. Character of all time.

[aka-blaa]

You know, when you said "negative-3 kill count," I, who haven't seen the anime, thought, "He resurrected 3 people?????" But I'm seeing here on the wiki that apparently resurrection in this anime is a terrible idea.

[phantomrose96]

Official addition to this post.

[rightintheghoulies]

[ellyinnit]

"Romance is only good if it has smut"

You OBVIOUSLY have not read Crooked Kingdom, where Kaz's lips brush Inej's neck, he has a panic attack, leaves, starts a fight with his ENTIRE GANG and WINS

[thememedaddy]

[unspokensuggestion]

you are allowed to be wrong you are allowed to mess up you are allowed to be embarrassing.

[unspokensuggestion]

you are also allowed to do this.

[thememedaddy]

[thememedaddy]

[phantomrose96]

job interviewer: would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for nothing?

[phantomrose96]

job interviewer: (reading the room) would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for a pizza party?

[gazpachoandbooks]

Sometimes I think about Finnick trying to befriend Katniss before the Quell and I lose my shit

The other rebels are like you need to subtly let her know you're on her side, so you go bet and turn your charm up to 11. Which would have maybe worked on anyone else but this is Katniss Everdeen we're talking about.

So now you're stuck doing increasingly ridiculous social gymnastics every time she's around and still by the time the night before the Games arrives the only thing she's convinced of about you is that you are going to try to fucking murder her

So you freak out, seek out Haymitch and basically go "hey what the fuck is wrong with your kid". And Haymitch just stares ahead for a second, nods, takes off his bracelet, says "wear this" and leaves. You fucking hate district 12

So you go okay. Breathing exercises. This is fine. Guess I'll have to save her life during the Games or sth maybe that'll do the trick. And when you see the Arena you cheer up for a sec bc you definitely have the advantage here she'll have to trust you right?

Wrong. She can fucking swim. SHE CAN FUCKING SWIM.

So now you're in the Cornucopia with no cards up your sleeve, no time left, and arguably the other deadliest tribute in that Arena pointing at you with a bow, and so you go "you know what, fuck it, I'm going to die anyways" and you show her the bracelet

AND IT FUCKING WORKS

Bear in mind Finnick had no first-hand experience on Katniss and Haymitch's bitch-to-bitch telepathy this was his first contact with it

Just saying lucky for the Rebellion this was Finnick and not me if I was in his place I would have killed her there and then just out of principle

[modernmusess]

katniss: everyone’s so focused on protecting peeta because they too know how pure hearted he is and believe that he—a boy they’ve never even met before—deserves to survive over them and their friends of literal decades

finnick, to literally everyone else: okay if peeta dies she’s gonna kill all of us and then herself, so hands in, protect bread boy on three-

[internetgreatesthits]

[sickfrr]

Coping? nah I’m raw dogging life with untreated mental illness

[riotd]

i’m very self aware. which unfortunately hasn’t solved anything

[orcposts]

do not go gentle into that good night

[orcposts]

be a bit of a bitch about it

[transbian-uprising]

can't in good conscience leave this out

[mylordshesacactus]

For all that the 1800s etiquette guides are--obviously--derangedly sexist from a modern perspective? They're also mindblowing in how casually they will assert things that MODERN DAY CONSERVATIVES would scream and cry and shit their pants about.

"People back then always married young it's natural!!!" Every single 1800s guide I've ever met casually mentions that, of course, you really shouldn't get married before you're at least 20, and waiting until 25 is usually better.

Or, like. Okay here's a long segment:

Just firmly going "it is crazy sexist to blame The Wife for overspending when thirty seconds of asking questions will immediately establish that her husband was outright lying to her about how much money they had. Talk to your wife like a normal person."

Or--okay, here. A section on being honest and not writing love letters in secret, because that's usually a good sign that there's something untoward going on....

....except that he then immediately acknowledges that sometimes, the reason you're hiding this from your parents is that your parents suck. That there are parents who frankly have not earned the right to approve or disapprove of your partner.

(I realize the phrasing there sounds a lot less strong than my summary, but--trust me on this. When you're familiar with the narrative voice of these kinds of books, this passage is downright radical. The mere acknowledgement that if you treat your kids badly, it's your own damn fault when they don't talk to you? I've genuinely never seen that before in this genre. Don't freak out over "properly trained", either. It's just a linguistic shift--at the time, "training" was used the way we would say "raising" a child today. )

[weiila]

Typical Disney-style story of a kingdom with an anxious new ruler whose inherited chief advisor has a goatee, dresses in black and red, smirks a lot and keeps a snake as a pet.

Every single villanous plot to overthrow the kind and ”weak” ruler fail because the advisor is 110% loyal but his vibes make all the baddies assume he’ll help out in the insidious coup plan so they recruit him, and he absolutely delights in puppeteering wannabe autocrats into digging their own graves. He doesn’t want to rule, he’s having way too much fun being a villain honey trap.